App-Arition: S1-E3- Catfished

Written below is the script read for the radio play:

NARRATOR

The dating pool can be kinda scary; especially when your dates are tied to shallow opinions, or when you're constantly hit by wave after wave of questionable profiles that hook you in, until you find out that you've been chasing waterfalls.

In this upcoming episode we will attempt to reel you in to this dark tale about how you can't just judge a book by its cover, and things aren't always what they seem.

Randomocity presents Catfished.

After a nasty breakup, our protagonist, Daxon, learns that there are plenty of fish in the sea. He soon gets hooked on an app that promises just that.

This app is called Plenty of Fish. The same online dating rules apply. Swipe if you like or dislike. If you match, you become pen pals and never meet in person. But Daxon wanted to be more than that, he wanted to meet a real down to earth woman who isn't afraid of getting her feet wet.

Prior to swiping he had to fill out his profile. He dreaded doing this. Not only did he not know what to say in the empty box provided, but he didn't want to put down his actual height. It was a personal insecurity he had about himself that's been with him ever since grade school. Yet he could not move on to complete his profile unless he typed in his height.

Part of him wanted to put down that he was between 5'7" to 6 feet, but he knew that was gonna be a stretch. No pun intended. Plus if he was looking for a genuine girl, then he should be a genuine man for that girl.

After much hesitation, he finally put down that he was 5'4". He hoped that the girls would just swipe for him based on his brief bio and pictures, and overlook the height.

He also hoped that he wouldn't get catfished by fake profiles. He heard a horror story where a small town guy was messaging a beautiful girl back and forth until they finally met in person. He later found that the lady looked nothing like her profile pictures. He ended up meeting a large in girth woman in her 50s using pictures of a model to lure young men into her trap.

Daxon wanted to make sure that that wouldn't happen to him.

The swiping game began. At first he read the girls' bios before letting his thumb decide their fate, but over time he grew irritated that he wasn't getting a single match in the process. His pace quickened. He was no longer focused on reading the novel-like bios, instead he just wanted a girl to like him back, and then he could read the bio later to see if they were truly compatible.

After many swipes, and with zero success in getting at least one match, Daxon grew discouraged. He began to wonder if girls nowadays were really superficial and size-ist when it comes to a short and fury guy like himself.

He figured that it was time for him to take a break from swiping and watch an episode of Animal Planet. He was always fascinated by the series. There was one episode that theorized that mermaids not only existed, but that they were our distant relatives to us like apes. Daxon knew that this was a bit far-fetched, but when he read on the internet that there was an Asian nomadic group called the Moken people, who have adapted to semi-aquatic life, he began to wonder. The Mokan people were able to contract their pupils, and hold their breath underwater for more than 20 minutes. He could only do that for one. Plus the word Moken meant 'sea people'.

NOTIFICATION SOUND

Daxon went to check his phone. Sure enough it was a notification from the dating app. He swiped to reveal the mystery woman. Out of the number of girls he swiped for, he didn't recall this one in particular.

Her name was Cordelia. She had olive skin, hazel eyes, dark hair, and a great smile. An islander, very exotic, especially with her selfies being by a beach or a pool. She had countless pictures of herself in places she's been to, but her 'about' section was almost bare. All it said was "If we match, ask me anything." And her height was 5'8".

This was a bit intimidating. His last girlfriend was 5'2", and that was when she was in high heels. It shouldn't be a problem, but something about a woman being taller than him can kind of emasculate a guy.

This woman was a catch, but Daxon wanted to know what the catch was, if there be any.

He decided to play it cool by waiting

A few minutes before sending a message. He didn't want to feel desperate, overbearing, or even give the impression of being labeled as a creep.

So he took his time. Built up his courage to message the girl with a friendly "Hi" and in addition, he asked if she could tell him about herself. He took the bait.

He didn't get an immediate response. He wasn't expecting one either. After a second glance he felt that she was out of her league. She was a 20 and he was a 5. A 5'4" to be exact.

Finally he could see ellipses flash in the chat box. The suspense was killing him. What was he going to learn about this beautiful woman?

Once the typing ceased a speech bubble full of text appeared. A novel of likes, dislikes, hobbies, passions, and goals. All of which nearly matched with what Daxon was looking for in a relationship. It was almost too good to be true.

Their conversations grew from simple questions to deep ones. Each becoming vulnerable to one another. She never once mentioned anything about Daxon's height or lack thereof.

The app then notified him that he had the option to video chat with Cordelia. He felt this was a perfect opportunity to know for sure that he was talking to a wonderful woman. A live video of seeing her eyes and smile, instead of just texts and flirting emojis. Being the gentleman that he was, he asked if he could video chat with her.

The ellipses flashed for a few moments. Then the box went blank for a long period of time. He stared at the screen on his phone in hopes to see a speech bubble appear. He wondered if his request was too forward, and if he actually blew it with this girl. Silence filled the room as he waited frantically for some answer. Anything. Nothing.

Discouragement settled in as his shoulders dropped with his countenance. He knew that downloading the app was a bad idea. He wasn't ready to dive into this dating life. Singlehood felt less stressful at the moment, but at the same time lonely.

He turned off his phone and continued to watch an episode of Animal Planet. He learned that only 5% of the ocean life has been explored by human beings. That was more than his dating life, which was nonexistent at the moment.

NOTIFICATION SOUND

Daxon quickly went to his phone. It was Cordelia. All the negative feelings of doubt washed away. He was rejuvenated and wanted to know what her text said.

It started out with admiring the boldness, then she apologized for the late response because she had to make herself presentable for a video chat.

Daxon was a T-shirt and jeans guy. Simple. But he also wanted to make a good first impression. So he did his hair, and made sure his shirt wasn't too wrinkled.

Once he was comfortable, he took a deep breath before swiping for a video call. The phone rang until the picture of Cordelia changed to a live video of her.

He was excited to see her. Behind those zeros and ones was a real person. She was not only appealing to look at, but the conversation was fun and engaging. Never a dull moment. Daxon was glad to bridge that barrier in technology that helped with their connection. They weren't in person, but they could see each other, and that was a good step.

Thoughts of bringing up his height festered in the back of his mind. Should he tell her? Would it matter? Would she still like him? He decided to keep it in the dark. Why ruin the fun?

After the long meaningful conversations between one another, the only question that was left before the meeting was "when?"

He suggested a sushi place, but Cordelia was not a fan, and wasn't all that hungry. So they decided to go to a local park that was known for its large pond.

***

Upon arriving, Daxon hesitated getting out of his car. He was afraid that if she saw him, she would be filled with disappointment. After psyching himself into getting out of the car, he saw her. He liked how the moonlight beamed on her like a spotlight. Time stood still for a brief moment that seemed like an eternity.

He walked over to reintroduce himself, now in the flesh, and she never once took a second look, or even mentioned the height difference. Just reciprocating smiles, and shared glances.

They then circled around the park as the crescent moon reflected on the glassy water.

It started out slow and awkward. It's a good test to see if one is good at not only texting, but talking too. She talked about how she was always afraid of meeting serial killers on these online dating sites. Daxon broke the ice by saying that he was a cereal killer, but only wanted to kill and eat Cap'n Crunch.

Cordelia snorted out a laugh, and then out of embarrassment collected herself as she brushed some hair from her face.

Over time the awkward exchanges switched to comfortable and quick positive banters of commonalities.

It was like they've known each other their whole lives, and were only now realizing what they were missing.

Later he noticed her left hand swinging freely by her side. In the moonlight he saw a glimpse of what appeared to be webbing between the creases of her fingers. Cordelia quickly folded her arms as she felt his eyes on her.

Daxon thought this was perfect. They both had their own personal insecurities to share.

"Don't hide that." He said as he reached to touch her shoulder. Their eyes locked on each other for what seemed to be an eternity.

Their eyes closed as he leaned in to steal a kiss. Her lips were not only soft, but extremely moist. He pulls back with hopes that he wasn't going to leave a string of spit in the process. Instead he finds a different string, in fact he finds two strings dangling from each corner of her mouth. He wondered if Cordelia had her long hair caught in her mouth mid-kiss, but that wasn't the case.

Instead of a single strand of hair; he saw some type of mustache that resembled a Fu Manchu resting on her upper lip, that strangely matched the color of her skin. Her natural skin color began to fade into an aqua hue with hints of liver spots surrounding the sides of her face. Small slits began to form under the corners of her jawline as she took deep breaths. Her hair clumped together like tentacles of an octopus. In fact they literally were. The tentacles stood on end like individual snakes illuminating small yellow balls of light from each suction within the tentacles. Her eyes opened revealing pitch black orbs that reflected the horrified countenances on Daxon's face. His date no longer looked like anything in the profile pictures. She resembled an amalgamation of various fish trying to mimic human form.

As soon as Cordelia's hidden clouded eyelids closed sideways, Daxon knew that his world was also coming to a close, and was now going to be swimming with the fishes.