Am I Bein Followed? 1.2

**Disclaimer**

Do not distribute or post elsewhere without my approval

This series may contain :

Blood, Gore, Violence, Seeing things, Hearing voices, Dangerous situations, and mental breakdowns.

Please read with caution as it is still in progress and as I remember specific parts of this dream it could change what the disclaimer will hold

How the different voices will be distinguished:

Negative self criticism

Just trying to help out

Trying to look up when she doesn't really feel like it

We start eating and making jokes. Before we know it, all of the food is gone and I had finished off all of the alcoholic drinks because they tasted really sweet. I only feel a little buzzed, but comfortable and safe because Tom is there. When the waiters come back to start removing some of the clutter, Tom asks for the check so that we can get headed towards our main reason for coming to the mall in the first place; buying me new professional work clothes.

We start heading towards level 3, where all of the office niceties and professional attire reside. After we step onto the escalator, I feel his hand slightly nudge mine so I let our fingers get tangled together. I avoid looking at him as I can feel the heat rising in my face. “Why does Tom, holding my hand make me nervous?” I think to myself, “He kissed me on the forehead earlier, why am I panicking now?” I stop for a moment in shocked. “I must have been too focused on the restaurant to think about it earlier! Tom actually kissed me!” My face gets even hotter while I’m still trying to avoid even catching a glimpse of Tom. I’m much more nervous now than I thought I could ever be!

The voice that I’ve been able to keep at bay these past few days finally start to butt in, “Do you think he likes us?” “What do you mean likes us? We are a hot mess! There’s no way he would even want to talk to us if he knew about how messed up we are!” “Really? What if he wants to help us?” “ARE YOU STUPID?! Look at him! With his money and looks he could have anyone he wanted! Why would he pick you? You’re NOTHING in comparison!” I start to feel a little depressed, “But I can be with a little bit of time and hard work right?” I think to myself and start doubting myself. “Even if you got to where he is now, he’d still be getting better. You will never be enough for him!” “Don’t listen to her! If he didn’t care about you he wouldn’t be here with you right now, and you know that sweetheart, don’t take what she says to heart. It’ll only hurt you in the long run.” I start feeling a little better and reply, “I don’t even know why I listen to what she has to say anymore, I already know what the possibilities are. I just need to take it one step at a time and take that step with confidence.”

I had been so focused on what the voices had been saying that I managed to forget that time doesn’t stop just because I’m distracted. We reach the 3rd level, which I only noticed because Tom had stepped off of the escalator taking my arm with him. I stumble off of the escalator almost tripping! Tom notices that I’m a little distracted and reaches to catch me so I don’t fall. “Are you sure you didn’t drink too much? We can always do this tomorrow, you know.” He says concerned that the alcohol was the problem. “I didn’t drink too much Tom, in fact I was a bit distracted.” The words just roll off my tongue without realizing it. He seems a little confused for a split second before realizing that I was distracted because he had held my hand, “Ooooh! So you think I’m pretty distracting then?” He says with a grin. If I was blushing like crazy before, I can only assume it’s much worse now.

Without answering his question, We start walking towards to the stores so we can pick out some clothes for me. Luckily this part didn’t take long, thanks to Tom, he was able to help pick colors and styles that would fit well on me and not wash me out color wise, with how light my skin actually is. Tom is much more experienced at this than I am, If I came by myself I probably would have done horrible at it and taken several hours just deciding on one outfit. He makes things like shopping a breeze.

Tom leads me into a store I’ve never heard of before. The employees greet us with a smile as we enter the store, “Good afternoon! Do you need help finding anything today?” “No, thank you!” Tom replies with a smile and continues leading me to the back section of the store. We chat for a bit while we pick some clothes for me to try on. After picking a few different outfits in a few different styles, we head to the changing room. On our way I spot a maroon overcoat that I would love to have! I stop and look at it for a moment forgetting that Tom was talking to me. “You don’t need that! Plus it would look horrible on you anyway.” “I’m not listening to you, I’ll just ask Tom what he thinks.” “Yes! That sounds like a great idea!” “Hey Tom! What do you think of this overcoat? I think I may need one before winter hits.” Tom stops walking and turns to see the overcoat that I’m debating with myself over. “I think getting one would be a good idea, but our hands are a bit full already. Let’s get you to the dressing room to start trying these outfits on before we grab anything else.” I nod in agreement, “Okay! We can always come back to get it.”

We start walking towards the dressing room again. He hands me the stuff in his hands so I can go back and try them all on. I walk into the women only changing rooms and try to find one away from other people so I feel a bit more secluded and start organizing the clothes on the hooks before I start trying them on. The voices in my head made this whole process a bit more difficult than it needed to be. I had to let them talk and pretend I was listening to what they had been yelling while I was trying on the clothes. “I don’t know why you keep trying. You’ll never fit into this world!” “You’re too fat for that! Maybe you should just starve yourself! At least then you might be able to look pretty” “Seriously? That outfit?” “You’re not even pretty, why are you trying so hard?” “Maybe you should just put them all back and move back home” “What if he left” “What if he no longer wants to hang out with you?” “What if he finds out how messed up you are?” Maybe one day, they’ll leave me alone and it won’t be so hard to do simple things like buy clothes.

After I get done trying on the clothes that Tom helped me pick out, I take the clothes, which I had sorted onto separate hooks, and put the ones I didn’t like on the return rack. I walk out of the dressing room with the clothes I like and I see Tom is sitting on the bench, facing away from the dressing room, playing a game on his phone waiting for me. I smile to myself, happy about the fact that he is still there waiting for me.

I walk up behind him and lean down next to his ear, “Boo.” I say just little higher than a whisper. He jumps a bit and almost drops his phone. “Oh, It’s just you. You almost gave me a heart attack you know that right?” He says as turns to me and sees me giggling to myself. “Oh you think that was funny?” “Oh yeah!” I say through the laughter. “Let’s get going so we can go play video games.” He stands and offers to take some of the clothes for me.

Tom helps me get everything up to the counter so I can pay for everything before we leave. After we get everything up to the counter he turns to me, “You didn’t grab an over coat yet, didn’t you want to get one before winter hits?” I face palm knowing that it’ll be necessary since I walk to work every day. “I remember where it is, I’ll go get it real quick. Can you start checking out for me?” I ask him. He pretends to think for a second or two, “I think I can manage that, I’ll be here when you get back.” I smile at him and quickly walk off to get the over coat.

It took me a second to find it, but I finally did and quickly grabbed it to take it back to the counter. As I return to the counter, I put the overcoat on the counter so I can pay for it. After the woman behind the counter told me what the price was and I start digging for my wallet to take my card out and out of the corner of my eye I see Tom put his card in the chip reader, “Did you just pay for all of that?” I ask him. He smiles at me, “Of course I did!” I look at him rather confused, but I don’t want to cause a scene so I’ll wait to ask him any further about it, “Um, thank you. That was really unexpected.” “Why would he do that? I could’ve paid for it on my own!” “You really don’t know? You have zero ideas as to why he would pay for all of this for you?” “How would I know! I don’t know what is going on in his mind! Just tell me!” “If you can’t see it yet, then you’ll need to ask him honey, it’s not my place to tell you.” “Girl! I thought you were on my side!”

I smile at the cashier as I start removing the bags from the counter top. After we walk out of the store I remember I still need a pair of new shoes. “Hey, I almost forgot I need to get a pair of shoes!” right as he opens his mouth to say something, his phone dings. He pulls his phone out of his pocket to see the notification was, “Looks like our food is ready, so how about I get the food and the car while you pick out a nice pair of shoes?” he asks. “Sounds like a plan to me! I’ll meet you out front?” confirming our meeting location. “Sounds like a plan.” He says through a smirk before turning to leave.

I stand in place for a minute, just watching him leave. After about a minute I realize I needed to start heading towards the shoe store. I quickly regain my bearings and turn toward the shoe store.

As I’m walking I notice something feels a bit off. I can’t exactly put my finger it, but I can feel the atmosphere getting thicker with each step I take closer to the shoe store. I can feel my heart starting to race even though I don’t see anything that is out of place or anyone that seems to be acting weird. I try breathing to calm myself down; inhaling for 4 counts and exhaling for 8 counts, trying to force my body to relax, but of course it didn’t work. I brush it off and continue towards my destination.

As I step inside the shoe store everything feels rather normal again. I just shake off the weird feeling I had on the other side of the stores threshold and excited work my way toward the stiletto heels that I love seeing on the tall women in the office. I grab the first pair I see in my size; the shoes were a dark shiny red that had an ankle strap and the sole of the heels were a matte black with what looked like different sized moons scattered with some stars as the imprint. I tried the shoes on seeing if they were something I could walk in since I’d be wearing them to work after all. They were a little tight but that is expected from brand new shoes, luckily my mom taught me a trick on how to stretch them out without hurting my feet or ankle.

I pack up the shoes, getting ready to take them to the counter. Luckily when it comes to shopping for shoes I’ve always been good at getting it done rather quickly, probably thanks to my bored window shopping online when Tom is too busy to hang out. I get to the counter and put the pair I picked out on the counter and tell the lady at the counter that I had found what I was looking for. As soon as she scanned my shoes I noticed that she had stopped moving even though she was about to say something. I quickly turn to scan the rest of the store and see everyone had stopped moving! Everyone! Everything! Even the water from the fountain right outside the store!

To be continued.....