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Alone

by Ronin Matthews 3 months ago in psychological
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Aren't we always alone?

I can't remember

I can't remember what it looks like: The Blue Sky or the Yellow Sun, it has been so long. The only thing I see now is darkness and nothing more. Everywhere I look, I see the empty void of light, and all I can feel is the cold shiver that runs down my spine, having to stare at the nothingness and what may lurk out there. Walking is all I can do: walk until my legs bleed, then walk some more until this eternal abyss ends. I feel around, trying to touch and gather a sense of the idea of where to go. Still, all I can think and see of is trees, the rows, and rows of Tallwood trees. The trees are as tall as the concrete skyscrapers in New York and as dense as stainless steel. I wish I could see these miracles of botany in the light. Still, in the darkness, it felt like a wall enclosing and surrounding me, constricting me like a Boa Constrictor strangling its victims. The wired thing is that I would not hear anything for miles, and then all of a sudden, hoot, hoot, the sound of an owl shaking my bones and nerves. I wish I didn't come here; I never wanted to end up in this place. This dark, empty, soulless Forrest, why did I come here, only me and no one else. I mean, humans are social creatures. They are never meant to be alone; when humans are alone and in darkness, they become something more scary and animalistic.

Run, that is all I can do, run, run, from the noises starting to scare and provoke my nerves into a flight or fight situation. I hear it: quick, run, run, and then boom. The taste of blood, oak, leaves and fresh air in my mouth

I hit a tree, and now I am lying here with a nose bleed, and all I can hear is the voices. The voices that I listened to my whole life that I suppressed and kept in the dark. These unconscious voices hide in the back of my mind, the devil's representatives; when I was in the light, the agents were just played down as "Dark Voice." Still, now in the dark, I don't know the reality anymore, Because when in the darkness, there is no order or logic; it is just you and your thoughts. But, then again, aren't we all truly alone, with our imagination left to wonder and our minds full of ideas. I mean, yes, we could hang out with people and fill our minds with addictions, but at the end of the day, you cannot truly outrun the dark and negative thoughts within our heads, I tried to run from them, but I can't.

I am tired, fatigued, and have been running for hours, years. Physically I feel so much pain in my nose; that is how I know this is reality and not some dream, and I would have woken up by now. But unfortunately, like everything in life, you have to face reality, that I am lost. Posted, without a map or direction on where to go, why is life so hard and unfair? Why do we have to lose everything we work so hard for? It's almost futile, isn't it? To run, many give in, but they are branded as psychos, monsters, sick people, and boogyman.

Now, I lie here and wonder will light ever come so now that I never have to live the madness that is my life.

psychological

About the author

Ronin Matthews

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