A Pumpkin that actually scared me

A month of moments. A daily brief trip down my thought spiral inspired by a moment the stayed with me till dusk and beyond. 1st November

It’s the first day of November. Homes are littered with decaying pumpkins displaying children's creativity, and thier dads depiction of a scary face. Some now lay smashed on the ground, art work gone in a misplaced step or an accidental knock off a wall. Every now and then I’ve passed a teenager’s inappropriate carving that’s been displayed because the family is just pleased they joined in. I love it, despite the mess it looks this morning, when last night it was so appealing. I can see the hours of desired fun, turned into cut fingers, a stench you forget every year until October 30th and the less than desired outcome for the Jack o lanterns.

I’ve set off on this cold Monday morning on my normal routine. Tired and less than bright in the morning. Dog in tow, who’s also not a morning person. I’m driving through country lanes to get to doggy day care.

Today, I passed the most terrifying pumpkin I’ve ever seen. Not only did I literally catch my breath, but also did a double take, and checked my satnav.

This pumpkin had no face, no haunting eyes, or zigzag grin. It had been carefully carved carefully to read haunting words and a message I would take very seriously as I’m late for work, have I brushed hair, and a dog who wants to sing badly to the radio. This pumpkin read ‘Road Closed’

For a split second, late for work as usual, I believed it.

Today I was the person who went on a rant about temporary traffic lights and diversions, and how for three weeks I’ve been severely, comprehensively put out and inconvenienced. I’ve even had wild thoughts about sourcing the place where temporary traffic lights are stored, so I can break into the compound at night temporarily remove their temporary traffic light’s temporary light bulbs.

This sent me down a self examining, moral compass aligning trail of thought. Am I that person? The person who stops at a traffic light for 30 seconds and sends up a quick prayer. The person who gets annoyed when there’s no parking space. The person who portrays themselves as a good driver but gets irritable when someone overtakes. Yes, yes I am.

I delved into my conscious and remembered the words of Terry Pratchett, and his creation of the fifth horse of the apocalypse. Roadworks on the M25. I used to find this image funny, now as a driver, especially a driver in a council who seems intent on spending the whole years budget on road works in a month, I see it was no joke at all. In fact, in that moment, I decided Terry Pratchett had discovered part of the Bible that may never have made the final cut. Here was that horse trying to apocalypse me, and here was that horses warning sign. A jack o lantern.

Never the less, I made it to work. Only ten minutes late, which is not that bad for me. My search for temporary traffic light heaven was ended quickly the moment I arrived and forgot about the woes of my journey. Here’s to you though Terry, for your moments of rage on the M25, and for not taking it out on road signs or workmen, but for creating the fifth horse. A beast we can all agree to hate, in everything he rides forth for. Also the beast who never quite got into the final act, because let’s be honest, there are worse things in the world. Death, famine, war, pestilence. Roadworks on the M25, would of course be naturally been mocked.

Even so, this pumpkin stuck with me from 8am till 8pm.