A Greater Love

“What a mess,” He sighed, crimson stains collecting on the black leather of his shoes as he walked through the room.

The man traced his fingers alongside the bedside table, leaning over to blow out a candle. The smoke wisped up and curled aimlessly in the air. He sauntered around the room, sidestepping the prone figure sprawled on the ground, his eyes fixed on the trembling woman in the corner of the room.

“Well, darling, would you not even greet me?” Dark eyes settled over the fidgeting young woman. She did not meet his gaze, eyes fixed on the red patches of carpet, watching the liquid darken as it set.

“This is a nice room,” He remarked, raising an eyebrow at the sleek, modern design of the hotel room. “Shame about the stains.” He tutted, flicking imaginary dust from the desk.

She remained silent, gaze empty as she stared at the darkening blood. The only sound in the room was the crackle of the fireplace and the hiccups she let out as she cried.

“Love, do not hide your face from me. I have waited long to see you.”

She flinched, but did not respond.

“Darling,” He sighed, coming up behind her and wrapping his arms around her body, clutching her close to his chest. “I despise seeing you in grief, surely you must be used to this by now.” He placated, rubbing her shoulders and leaning in to whisper in her ear. “Let us not waste what little time we have together.”

He turned them both to face the dead woman sprawled on the ground.

“Human life is fragile and fleeting - revel in it, do not grieve for it.”

As soon as the words left his mouth, he felt a sharp stinging in his jaw.

“You don’t get to say that.” She finally spoke, her voice quivering and dull.

Stunned, he let her go. The woman immediately turned, fuming at him. He could feel the indents of her knuckles on his jaw, just barely managing to temper his anger.

“What do you mean?” He asked, trying to keep the fury out of his voice.

“I don’t - I can’t -” She stuttered, digging the heels of her hands into her eyes and rubbing furiously. Her hands came away stained with black, makeup smeared over her cheekbones in thick, black stripes.

“Can’t what?” He boomed, anger overtaking fear. The temperature in the room dropped, the wind howling outside the window, tree branches snapping against the glass. Her silence only fed his fury. Crows cawed loudly as they gathered around the window, beady eyes peering into the dimly lit room.

“Control yourself.” She ordered in a weak voice.

“Then answer me.” He retorted.

She laughed, a hollow and bitter sound, lips stretched thin over teeth in a cheap imitation of the glowing smile he cherished.

“You’d never understand!” She wailed, her shoulders sagging hopelessly.

“I understand your grief, but it is a blessing given to us.” He reminded her, closing the distance between them in a few long strides and cupping her face in his hands. “You are the fated love of the god of death, I imagine the love of god comes with an unbearably high price.” He murmured, his fingers tightening around her jaw.

“No, no, I can’t - I want -” She exhaled shakily as she halfheartedly tried to pry her face out of his grip, frustration painted across her features.

“Use your words, darling. The transition is natural, do not trouble yourself like this.” He commanded, his voice soft but firm.

“No!” She shouted. “I did this! This - this whole thing is my fault!”

“Our curse is not your fault, darling. People around you die bec -” He began, but she cut him off.

“No, you don’t get it!” She finally wrenched herself out of his grip, turning to face the prone body mournfully. “I killed her. I mean, I just missed you so much. I was alone and it’s been so long and I just wanted to see you. What the hell was I thinking?” She cried, collapsing to her knees next to the woman sprawled across the floor.

He came to stand behind her, placing his hands on her shoulders and squeezing.

“Just because death follows you does not mean you killed her, love.”

“She’s a widow, no kids, she lives alone, she had such a simple life and I - I just kept thinking that no one would really notice if she died and I don’t know what I was thinking but the next thing I knew, I just - I just kept thinking about you and I missed you and -” She spoke fast, her voice tinged with a desperation he’d never heard from her before. “I killed her. I killed someone, oh my god. I murdered my -” She broke off into a sob.

“Oh, my love,” He sighed, leaning down and pressing a kiss into her hair. “Death is natural, do not blame yourself. If there was another way, I would do anything for you. ” He pleaded, coming to kneel in front of her.

“And I thought I could do the same for you, I really did.”

“And you did. What’s done is done, darling. There is no changing it, just accept it and move on. You didn’t harm her out of malice, you did so out of love.”

“Out of selfishness! I hate what I’ve become! I love you so much, but god, I can’t -” She cried.

“You will learn to move past this. Life is fleeting as it is. Our love is worth a thousand deaths, even more.” He promised, dark eyes fixed on hers as he stroked her tan skin with his thumb.

Silence settled over the pair, tension thick in the air, her lack of a reply sending fear jolting through him.

“She’s not some random person, she… Alice was my friend.” She leaned her forehead against his temple, her body sagging into his as his earthy scent surrounded her. “She supported me, she helped me when I moved here, she took care of me, she -” She hiccuped through another sob. “She put me in her will since she has no one else in her life. She left me $20,000.” She exhaled sharply. “That’s more money than I’ve ever held in my hands at once.”

“She did so because she was already old and ailing, darling. She is a gem of a woman.” He tucked her hair behind her ear and caressed her face, the pads of his fingers smoothing over her cheek.

“What does that make me?” She asked, her eyes closed.

“It makes you a wonderful woman in an awful situation.” He answered, without hesitation.

“In order for me to be happy, others get hurt. I can’t justify myself anymore. This is the worst kind of reality check. I’m a terrible person! I’m selfish and well aware of it, but I crossed a line! I’m a murderer!” She cried, eyes flying open. She shoved him away and stood up, pacing around the room frantically.

“Darling, calm down -” He attempted, standing and bringing her into his arms.

“Is this even worth it?” She exhaled, the air heavy with the weight of the whispered question.

His grip tightened and he forced her to look into his eyes.

“I have been in love with you since your first breath, your first life. Your soul is mine. You are my fated, my chosen, the only one I will ever love. You will always be worth it to me, for I do not know love outside of you. My darling,” He crushed her against his body, burying his face in her neck. “I worship you. If you decide that we are not worth the sacrifice, I will not ask you to make any more, but I will always believe that you are worth a thousand, a million, infinite deaths.”

“How can you say that? We’ve been selfish for over a millennia! Doesn’t it bother you that we can’t even see each other if you’re not collecting a soul?” She argued, her words harsh and cold despite the way she clung to him.

“My curse is mine alone - I’m cursed to lose you, my beloved. It’s because I refuse to let you go that you’ve been reincarnated so many times. If you wish to leave the cycle of rebirth, I will not stop you. It must be tiring, darling.” He soothed, rubbing circles into her shoulders as he held her small, trembling form.

“I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want you to be in pain, miserable and heartbroken. You’ve found me in every single life. Why can’t you find me in the afterlife ?” She begged, cupping his face with cold hands.

“The curse -” He began, but she was quick to cut him off.

“We’ve found loopholes in the curse before. We can do it again. I can’t hurt people anymore, I just can’t do it. I can’t be miserable and lonely unless someone dies around me. God, I’m so glad I can’t remember my past lives, my hands are probably covered in blood, aren’t they?” She dug her nails into the tender skin at the nape of his neck, but the sharp pain was a welcome relief from the soul-wrenching sorrow building in his chest.

“What do you want, darling?” He asked quietly, his voice deceptively steady.

“Give me the book.”

He pulled a little black, leatherbound notebook from his jacket pocket and watched as she flipped through the pages, tracing the fresh ink of her friend’s name with reverent, remorseful fingers.

Alice Mave

“Find me again. We can fight fate together in the afterlife.” She whispered. “You’ve written one hundred names in this book for me, now I’m asking you to write my name yourself.”

His heart dropped, the words he had been dreading had finally fallen from her cherry lips. With a twisted resolve, he gently took the book out of her hands and led her to the bed.

“Lay down, my darling. I do not want you in any sort of pain or discomfort.” He said, choking back tears.

She laid on the bed and closed her eyes, waiting to hear the ominous scratch of the ebony pen across the cream-colored page.

His hands shook as he laid a hand over her eyes, summoning her soul forward. A brilliant purple flash covered the room and slowly, tendrils of violet wisped from her mouth as she breathed her last. He captured her soul in the vial he carried around his neck and wiped his eyes, guilt and pain overwhelming him.

He turned to the last page of the notebook.

Lilith

Tamar

Persephone

Catrina

The list went on, all of her previous names written in shaky writing. Over a millenia of lives penned down meticulously, every single identity and iteration of his great fated love. Fate had been unkind to him, had warned that a god of death had no right falling in love, but he still chased his beloved. He knew that if she passed on, there would be no hope for them.

Fate would spare no mercy, punishing his beloved in his lieu. Fate was inevitable.

The god of death hung his head in shame as he wrote his beloved’s name on the cursed last page of his Book of Death.

It was his greatest shame, his deepest sin - this one page held the only lie he had ever told.

Aaliyah Ahmadi

In every life she’d ever lived, she always made the same request of him, always asked to move on to the afterlife, but he couldn’t bring himself to let go of her. He pressed his lips against the vial with his beloved’s soul, whispering an apology for his deceit before murmuring the sacred words and letting the essence dissipate into the air.

A murder of crows cawed ravenously outside the window and the wind howled in anguish.

Across the world, a baby let out its first cry.