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Fairy Tales Were Already Fucked Up

They were edited to be sparkly

By Shelby Hagood Published 2 months ago 3 min read
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The real challenge has always been to rewrite a fairy tale in a cute and clean manner that is fine for the children of today to watch or listen to. Disney has done this with stories like Sleeping Beauty, where the tale originated as a rape story. Children of the past were not censored from these cautionary tales. Let’s visit some that may not be as well known:

1. There once was a girl named Molly Wuppie who was captured by giants. The giants put golden necklaces around their 3 children and ropes around Molly and her two sisters. Molly caught on to what could happen and swapped the ropes and gold, so the giant killed his 3 children that night and the sisters got away.

She told the Prince about how she outwit the giant. The prince said if she could outwit him once again, she could marry him. She the went back and told the giant he should beat her in a sack for her crimes, but to put shears, needle and thread, a dog, and a cat in the sack. She then told the giants wife about what a view it was from the sack on high, so she wanted to trade places with Molly.

Molly cut the sack with the shears. and the wife went in. The needle and thread sewed the sack back in place. When the giant started beating the sack, he couldn’t hear her screaming over the cat and the dog. The giant had then killed his entire family. This new princess shall not be crossed or else! She is too witty, or maybe this giant is just dumb.

2. The armless maiden had her hands cut off by an evil man. She was too pure for him, so he made her become dirty. When she was dirty enough he could have her, but instead she cried into her hand, which cleaned them and he then had her hands cut off. She ran away and a prince found her at a pear tree.

The prince left for travels after the new princess had given birth and the evil man tried to intercept one of his letters to his new wife. He wrote a fake letter to a maid asking her to have the handless princess and the new child killed. The maid did not want them to be killed, so she sent them to hide. When the prince came back to know what had been done, he went to go find her. When he did, he cried tears of joy. Those tears made her hands come back, like true love’s kiss to wake a princess in a more gruesome way.

3. Last here is one like princess and the frog, or maybe beauty and the beast. Although, much more violent and…. Disgusting. A queen wants a child, so she eats roses from a witch. She was advised not to eat both the son giving rose and the daughter giving rose, but she ate both because she liked how they tasted. She then births a lindworm and a boy. The boy wants to marry, but the worm man is older so he has to marry first, but he keeps eating all of his brides.

There is finally a bride who speaks to a witch and figures out she need to whip him in the marriage bed. She whips him and makes him shed his nasty skins all over the bedroom floor. She then douses him in milk and he is revealed to be a handsome prince, so they shall now live happily ever after.

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About the Creator

Shelby Hagood

Warner Bros and Disney 💕

Cat lover 🐱

Love fancy chocolate 🍫

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  • Esala Gunathilake2 months ago

    Haa. Haa. Haa. Nice

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