What the Movies Don't Say About Adults

Helplessly facing adulthood.

That's what it feels like. I'm an adult, I say. I should be able to handle this. All the job interviews, the impending driving tests, the search for a house. The money distress, the lack of support system, the loss (but not death) of all the family I've known.

I should be able to face a time without my parents, without having to worry about whether I can handle it.

The movies and books raised me to think that's what adults were. Or at least that they didn't struggle as hard as I feel like I'm struggling.

There isn't the desperate texts to friends: "My parents may move into an RV and I can't, where can I go?" Not knowing how to transfer schools mid-stream, not knowing how to fly in an airplane, not knowing if I will be homeless by 2022.

The adults in movies somehow always find a way. They don't mention that, even if you do find a way, it isn't without staying up at nights crying. I've cried almost every week.

They don't say that the adults get help with the crying either - apparently adults don't need help with crippling mental health issues. The movies should say that they do need help.

I need it. But without a car, nor being anywhere close to college, I'm limited in how to get it. I'm limited in knowing "Will my parents see if I use their insurance?" - I don't know these things ... I was never told.

The new adults in movies have parents they can turn to - hell, even friend's parents.

I grew up with the LGBTQ+ community - a majority of my friend's parents sucked or were abusive in various ways. I found find myself growing without a support system.

I moved to Nevada because my working-parent moved jobs. This was in 2020 when Covid-19 kept everyone inside. I was lucky - I made a friend through college by communicating online - and then another through talking with someone in Las Vegas.

Both aren't close enough to me to dump my adulting crisis on and things are bad enough for their living situations that I wouldn't dare.

They don't mention that in the movies. If the adults in movies have to move in with a friend, it's local and they somehow scrape by.

I stay up at nights wondering how I can get to Utah or Colorado and how any of what I want in life will come to pass when I'm going to be living pay-check to pay-check.

They don't have people in movies whose parents are so deep into conspiracies that at least one of them thinks the Earth is flat. And that the only reason you'll have to move out is because they want to run away from all their problems in an RV.

It's those theoretical parents' choices, after all.

Pity they didn't teach me most of the primary skills to be a functioning adult and now I have to learn them off Reddit.

Adults in movies don't expect to leave to study abroad and worry that when they come back, they wont have a home to come back to.

The movies have proven to be very unrealistic to compare to my life.

And I'd like to end on a positive note, I really would.

But I find myself looking at the future and wondering if I'll be able to be an adult. I've had to learn more in three months than I have in a lifetime - on my own and without any proper guidance.

I'm scared. I'm scared for my future.

They don't say the adults are scared nearly enough.

Make a movie about that.

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Author's note: I needed a place to vent on a bad day. And I wanted to share my story. There are a bunch of people damaged by this Pandemic in more ways than one. And there are many different ways to have bad parents. Up until a couple years ago, I would have told you that my parents were the best around.

I know better now.

I'm lucky to have amazing friends - all across the country and outside of it - who have offered me help in this terrible year. I know that I'll be okay - even if the events of this little story are what the worries in my head say are going to happen. I'm resilient. If they do, I'll get through.

Not everyone has the backup I have. Check in on people. Give a stranger a smile, even. This year, for some, has been ten times worse than 2020. Stay strong.