What our Inner Child Wants to Watch

You know what everyone needs right now in this chaotic world? A stroll through memory lane to remember our cherished childhood memories, to hopefully develop those forgotten muscles on our faces, to produce a simple smile. If you’re still young and haven’t been dumped on by life yet, you should still do this exercise (easy reading), since you’re going to regret growing up and wish you’re Peter Pan, but staying young forever only happens in Neverland. And if I’m like you, then you grew up watching Disney movies with your family and friends (or by yourself). If you didn’t then you need to have a talk with your parents because you’ve been robbed of classic animated masterpieces that shaped the world. With that said, I thought it’d be best to recall some classic Disney movies that have defined the childhood of many people, and recommend new ‘adult films’ (no, not porn… Pirates), so that there’s always an intimate relationship between them, and when we start to play ‘adult’ and do ‘adult’ things like watch ‘adult films’ (again, not porn you pervert! Pirates II: Stagnetti's Revenge!), our minds will automatically take that stroll through memory lane and make us smile.

I have a simple formula to find new movies and shows — find any aspect of a show or movie you love like the directors, writers, actors, plot, theme, music, etc. and see what might relate. You can keep linking on the original idea or on the new one. You are now creating a chain of associations, weak or strong, to help give you an idea of what might be fun for you. It’s not an exact science, but more of a quick brainstorming activity that doesn’t require much mental power, and it’ll have you watching new things instantly. I’ll show you how it’s done. Don’t worry, I will only recommend, never spoil. I’m not cruel.

Now, let’s take a deep dive down the rabbit hole and pretend we’re a posh blonde little girl, or whichever character you relate to, and discover new possibilities so that we can sit back and relax (or lay down like me) and start watching instead of scrolling through an infinite abyss.

IF YOU LIKE ALICE IN WONDERLAND THEN YOU MIGHT LIKE…

There is no doubt that Lewis Carrol was cracked. Or maybe just imaginative, but I’m not sure there’s a difference. Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland was published in 1865 and popularized the genre of literary nonsense. Yep, cracked.

Disney made the movie in 1951, the one we’re all familiar with, based on the book. If you haven’t already then you should watch the new adaptations from Disney, Alice in Wonderland (2010) and Alice Through the Looking Glass (2016). Alice in Wonderland (2010) was directed by Tim Burton, and stars Johnny Depp, so you already know that film is going to be whimsical. Alice is played by Mia Wasikowska who does a great job acting weird. Possibly, so weird that Tim Burton couldn’t take it because Alice Through the Looking Glass was directed by James Bobin. That’s the same dude that directed and helped write Da Ali G Show and the new Dora film, Dora and the Lost City of Gold (2019), so it must be hilarious.

An obvious choice is the Netflix series Alice in Borderland (2020), simply because of the name, so there must be parallels with the original Alice — and there are. It’s a Japanese show based on a Japanese manga of the same name, and it casts a bunch of Japanese people, so I don’t know who they are, cause I’m not Japanese, I’m half Korean. It’s a lot more violent and rated R, but if you're into action, suspense, and death, then this is for you. There is a possibility of a season 2, although it hasn’t been announced, however the finale ends on a note that doesn’t begin on the same note.

The dreamlike nature of Wonderland reminds me of one of my favorites, The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus (2009), and stars our beloved and missed Heath Ledger. It was his last film, and he died during the production, so Johnny Depp, Collin Farrel, and Jude Law replaced him in certain scenes. In the movie, once you enter imaginarium, then whatever you desire most manifests itself. It’s quite trippy. You might even have revelations given to you from God if you took a magical journey while watching this film. If I could enter, then I’d imagine living in Neverland, so I can stay as a prepubescent boy, you know, before it got all weird — growing pubes, balls dropping, and having responsibilities — I’d want to be Peter Pan. Hey, that so happens to be the next movie we recall. Let’s keep flying!

IF YOU LIKE PETER PAN THEN YOU MIGHT LIKE…

The boy Peter Pan was created by J.M. Barrie, and this boy appeared in a novel, The Little White Bird (1902). He became famous and starred in his own play, Peter Pan (1904), which then became a novel, and then many movies. I’m quite envious of this fictional little boy, mostly for his immortal adolescent balls.

The movie, Peter Pan (1953), is the one we’re familiar with since it was produced by Disney. If you’re a fan, you should check out Peter Pan (2003) produced by Universal Pictures. If you’re a true fan, then check out Disney’s sequel Return to Never Land (2002). If you’re a real boy then you should watch Pan (2015) (or Pinocchio), which is a prequel, an origin story of the first Lost Boy. Oh, let’s not forget Hook (1991), for the true boys that never age, the man-child, if you want to see a grown Robin Williams playing as a little boy again.

If you’re an adult and you have kids, you’re now a parent, which means you can now act like a child and not be judged for it, which also means you can watch kids movies. Yay, my dreams have come true! The Lego Movie (2014) and its sequel The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part (2019) are a must watch (I watched this before I had a kid). Whether you played with legos as a child or not (or still do), matters not. These two films are hilarious, starting with its innocent loving main character Emmet Brickowski, played by Chris Pratt, journeying to fulfill a prophecy. The theme song “Everything is Awesome'', which is Emmet’s favorite song in the movies, was certified Platinum in 2017 in real life. The Lonely Islands helped write it. No wonder it was awesome.

This brings us to our next film, Hot Rod (2007). If you’re a fan of The Lonely Islands, then you’re a fan of Adam Samberg, which means you’ll like Hot Rod. On Rotten Tomatoes, it got a rotten tomato with a 39% score. But don’t fret, if you’re a fan that number easily doubles itself, and if you got some dope laying around it might even triple itself.

Another movie I remember is Pan’s Labyrinth (2006), I think because of “Pan”, and also I love it. It’s a Spanish dark fantasy film, and if you’re Spanish and haven’t seen it for some reason, you should open a Netflix tab and start watching right now. De nada. I guess you should really thank Guillermo del Toro who wrote and directed it, but you’ll have a higher chance of meeting me, so de nada. It’s set in Spain and takes place a few years after the Spanish Civil War. You follow Ofelia through a series of tasks she must complete to save her unborn brother. It’s a little dark and scary most of the time, but I still want to be young and pure like Ofelia, so let's navigate our way out of this maze.

It’s easy to navigate out the maze when you're in the imaginarium, all you have to do is desire something new, and now I desire to be a mermaid with red hair unda da sea.

IF YOU LIKE THE LITTLE MERMAID THEN YOU MIGHT LIKE…

The original story, The Little Mermaid (1837), was written by Danish author Hans Christian Andersen. So, let’s give him credit for giving Disney the idea to make a movie about it in 1989. Thanks Andersen! Disney is making a live-action remake soon like they’ve been doing with all the classics, so get ready for that!

When I think of the movie, I think of daddy issues. When I think of daddy issues, I think of the animated show Disenchantment (2018-) and almost everyone I know (all genders). Created by Matt Groening, who we should all know, the Creator of The Simpsons and Futurama. Praise be to him. The show is still ongoing and season 4 will probably be released early next year. I’ve been waiting. We follow Tiabeanie’s journey of being a princess with her companions, Elfo the elf and Luci the demon, as they learn about friendship and how they cope with their issues mostly with beer and being mischievous. It’s one of my favorite shows and now you can binge watch the first 3 seasons on Netflix.

Now I’m thinking of Elfo and his efforts to woo the love of his life and fail. That reminds me of 27 Dresses (2008). A great romcom to watch with your significant other — a glass of wine. It’s about a popular girl that goes to many weddings, and needs different dresses for each one, specifically 27 dresses, and there’s some charming guy that likes her, but she likes someone else. I guess she can’t appreciate that and wants more like Ariel. We all know what our favorite mermaid Ariel had to go through.

Now I’m thinking of everything I had to do to persuade my wife to marry me, similar to Elfo and that charming guy, which reminds me of Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010). Replace my name for Scott Pilgrim and that’s what it felt like. For some reason, sometimes it still feels like that. I’m certain most of us can relate by replacing our names in that title. And if you like bands and battles, then you may become a member of its cult following. Another reason to watch this action romcom.

I may have gotten carried away and went off the deep end but what do you expect? Right now I’m a mermaid under the sea. Now I want to imagine being Belle. I’m a man, so I desire being a woman and taking their wiser empathetic perspective, and I’ve always wondered what it’s like to have breasts — those masterpieces of nature that I’ve always worshipped after my balls dropped. I love them so much that I’ve given them many nicknames. It’s the only reason I don’t envy Peter Pan. Ok, I’m getting carried away again… Oh yeah, I’m Belle now.

IF YOU LIKE BEAUTY AND THE BEAST THEN YOU MIGHT LIKE…

Beauty and the Beast is a fairy tale we all know because of Disney, but it was published in 1740 by a French guy, Gabrielle-Suzanne Barbot de Villeneuve. I guess he had his own sexual fantasies… but I’m not judging. To each their own.

Disney made a movie in 1991 and two sequels Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas (1997) and Belle’s Magical World (1998) and a prequel Belle’s Tales of Friendship (1999). So, check those out if you want to know how terrible they compare to the original. Also, they made a remake of the original in 2017 starring the lovely Emma Watson, who is probably the best actress to fill the role of Belle.

One of the first movies that come to mind for some reason is Trainwreck (2015). I first saw it when it came out, and I couldn’t stop laughing. I imagine Amy, played by Amy Schumer, as the Beast, and Aaron, played by Bill Hader, as Belle. When you watch it, you might understand where I’m coming from. I’m not giving anything away, cause again, that’s cruel, and I ain't no cruel beast! I'm half-Asian and I barely have hair in my pits.

An obvious show that comes to mind is Beauty and the Beast (2012-2016). To be honest, I haven’t seen this show, and I’m not sure if I’m going to since there is so much to watch, and I can’t keep up. This is only a recommendation since there must be similarities. I thought of it because Kristin Kreuk stars in it, and you might know and love her from Smallville.

BRAINSTORMING COMPLETE

There you have it! We just worked through our simple formula and provided simple results to get you started watching. Maybe I’ll do a part 2 and show you how I work through a more complicated formula (it takes longer and requires brain energy) that provides more exact results. Enjoy watching!