True Blood, It's Fang Lickin' Good

Does it have vampires? I’m in.

I don’t know what it is about vampires but I have been obsessed from a young age. I’m not talking pre-teen young when Twilight came out (which as far as vampire stories go, does not rank high for me), I’m talking 6 years old when I still had baby teeth but was dreaming about having fangs. No, I’m serious. I literally dreamed about meeting vampires and begging them to turn me into a vampire too. Which they never agreed too… Even in my dreams I can’t be the dream version of myself!

Me when I finally got to be a vampire on set of Belcan Books.

Since I couldn’t live out my vampire dreams while I was sleeping, I started consuming whatever vampire content I could find to get my fix. Along with any books and media that contained witches, magic and faeries, but vampires were my true love. If the show had all of the above? DING, DING, DING. WE HAVE A WINNER. Meet, True Blood.

By the time True Blood entered my life, I was a seasoned vampire connoisseur. I had met many types of vampires. There were the Buffy vampires with gnarly faces and spiky 90’s haircuts. The aforementioned Twilight vampires who were brooding, angsty and for some reason shone bright like diamonds. Then, there were the cool teen vampires who attended an underground school in secret, in my favorite childhood vampire flick, Vampire High. Bet you never heard of that one before. You’re welcome.

Those vampire shows had served me well throughout my teenage life but I was growing up, I was craving something different, something I didn’t even know I wanted yet. Enter True Blood. Fangs? Check. Magic? Check. Sexy Nordic vampires? BIG OL CHECK.

So, what is it about True Blood?

This show just oozes with guilty pleasure goodness. It’s raunchy, it’s kitschy, it’s so over the top violent and gory that it’s just plain hilarious, and don’t forget those Louisiana accents. I could just listen to that southern twang all day, and all night. Oh yeah, I have listened to it all day and all night. Multiple times.

Character you love to hate.

The main character Sookie, on the surface can appear as a cringe-worthy caricature of a damsel in distress. She’s always getting into trouble and requiring her vampire suitors to come to her rescue. But hey! She can’t help it if she’s got (SPOILER) gosh, dang fairy blood! Yeah. Sookie turns out to be a fairy, and not so helpless after-all. Vampires however, are helplessly addicted to her sweet, sweet blood, but this makes for a steamy and complicated love story.

Sookie is so extra, her behaviour, the way she cries (seriously, just look up “Sookie crying face”), her outfits. I love it. I mean who in their right mind would decide this was the right first outfit to wear to a dangerous vampire bar where hopped up bloodsuckers might be looking for a tasty little treat?

She’s the character you love to hate. The girl in the horror movie who says let’s split up, or goes towards the footsteps when she’s alone in a haunted house. She makes you yell at the television “Oh nooo! Why?! GOD NO!” And if that isn’t good entertainment. I don’t know what is.

Does vampires right.

So let’s talk about vampires. I am nearly a resident expert so I have some authority on the subject. Vampires are supposed to be scary. In modern pop culture we’ve gotten a bit far away from the origins of the vampire. It started by making them sexy and alluring, which hey I can get behind, but some vampires these days are downright good doers. When they are dating teen girls and sparkling in the sun I say we’ve gone too far (okay, okay I’ll drop the Twilight hate now – fyi, also a great love to hate kinda flick).

True Blood vampires are f****** scary. They are mysterious, manipulative, and definitely brutal. On the surface they might be shiny and beautiful, but beneath that ice cold skin, you know they are cold blooded killers. Even the “good” ones are untrustworthy as a gas station tuna sandwich.

The lore in this show, is just right. I think my favorite tidbit is what happens to a vampire after it’s staked. Most shows depict this moment as the vampire collapsing into nothing, or turning into dust, not True Blood. Oh no, no, no. True Blood vampires turn into a disgusting pile of blood, guts and sinew. As the show goes on, the dying vampire scenes get worse and worse. You don’t even want to know. Or maybe you do. I’ll spare you, just do some googling at your own discretion.

Fantasy for days .

This show really has it all when it comes to fantasy. You’ve got your classics, vampires, fairies, werewolves and witches. Plus some bonus supernaturals like shapeshifters and a crazy maenad that takes over the whole town in season 2.

For me, fantasy has always been my go-to comfort watch. Maybe it sounds cliché or lame, but it’s always inspired me and make me feel like there’s more to the world than meets the eye. When life gets to be too much and I just need a break, fantasy is just… well, fantastical enough to make me forget my troubles. Recently, my grandfather told me it was “escapism”. Maybe he’s right. And maybe, there’s nothing wrong with that. And for a supernatural freak like me, True Blood is a perfect escape.

PS. I hear they are rebooting True Blood, looks like I'm going to have some more binging to do.