Tom Hanks (for it is he) is sitting in his study writing the greatest book on symbology ever (since his last one) when the phone unexpectedly rings. Tom Hanks will not finish his greatest book on Symbology (ever) this evening, for the caller on the line is le Comte du Pastille de la Bon-Bon, a reclusive and mysterious collector of arcane and occult Sweetie-tins who live in a mysterious secret hidden underground mansion in the heart of Paris.
In a ragged breath the Comte du Pastille tells Tom Hanks (for it is he) that he has been murdered by a dreadful foe, the name of whom is …. arghhhh. At the same time Tom Hank’s doorbell rings, at the door.. is Fifi du Pastille de la Bon Bon! She is the beautiful and mysterious daughter of le Comte du Pastille. In a breathless rush she tells Tom Hanks that she is pursued by the Order of the Gentlemen of the Cellophane Wrapper. They wish to capture her and a sweetie-tin of her father’s that was owned by Harry Belafonte and then Sir Elton John before her father acquired it. They must not acquire this tin! Its location is a secret known only to her, but she will not tell Tom Hanks until they are safely distant.
Tom Hanks (for it is he) and Fifi du Pastille de la Bon-Bon immediately travel by a chartered steam-train to a secret location in Geneva, pursued all the while by a crinkly assassin from the Gentlemen of the Cellophane Wrapper. Fifi’s eyebrow-waxing girl and Tom Hank’s shoe-shine boy fall victim to the dastardly Cellophane Wrappers along the way, innocent but inevitable victims of the dastardly Wrapper’s hairless albino assassin.
In Geneva the mystical and mysterious Sweetie-tin is recovered by Tom Hanks (for it is he) and Fifi de la Bon-Bon from the secret archives of the Order de la Chocolatiers de Geneva. The tin resists opening - its secret can only be uncovered in Prague at the temple of the Order of the Confectioners of Bohemia by the Grand-Master of the Sugared Almond. Tom Hanks and Fifi, closely pursued by the Gentlemen of the Cellophane Wrapper, engage in a breathless chase across central Europe. They reach Prague in the dead of night to find the Grand Master of the Sugared Almond….. murdered!
Suspected of the murder by the Prague Polizei, Tom Hanks (for it is he) and Fifi must race across a rain-glistened and moon-lit Prague to find the beautiful daughter of the Grand Master, for only her childhood-memories and the sacred medallion she wears always can unlock the sacred Sweetie-tin. Evading the attentions of the hairless albino assassin by using the secret and unknown (except to Tom Hanks) catacombs of the Society of the Bohemian Rhapsody, Tom Hanks (for it is he) and Fifi manage to reach the Temple of the Order of the Confectioners of Bohemia and meet the Zelda, the daughter of the Grand Master.
As the Grand Temple falls around them under the wrecking-ball of the Cellophane Wrappers Tom Hanks (for it is he), Fifi and Zelda discover that the tin contains the epistles of Saint Yves Laurent, lost to history for a whole 50 years. In a seemingly-impossible and last-minute intervention the Grand-Disciples of the Sacred and Holy Order of Yves Saint Laurent (who we learn have been secretly following events) intervene and reclaim the Sweetie-tin. Its final resting-place in Paris is known to none except the Holy Order of YSL and, by special and ceremonial allowance, Tom Hanks (for it is he).
About the Creator
Erl Johnston
I am a chartered architect but write stories to amuse myself and, hopefully, others too.
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