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Thoughts on 'Riverdale' Season 3

by Shelby Weimer about a year ago in review

Spoilers obviously.

Thoughts on 'Riverdale' Season 3

Okay so I’m no TV critic, but as soon as Season 3 of Riverdale hit Netflix, I knew what I had to do... Binge watch it in its entirety, effective immediately. For me, this show has become my new Pretty Little Liars in that I got emotionally invested early on, and must see it through until the end. There have always been things about this show that sort of bother me, but this latest season is absolutely CRAY. So strap in and prepare yourself for this passionate soul. Spoilers in no particular order here.

  • If someone says “endgame” when referring to relationships ONE MORE TIME, imma lose it. Seriously, let’s make it a drinking game at this point. It may just be because of Avengers, but I have never heard anyone say it in everyday conversation this much.
  • This show is similar to PLL in that everyone is beautiful, and literally the entire town has somehow gotten mixed up in all this shit. How??
  • I see what they’re trying to do with the Riverdale/Chilling Adventures of Sabrina crossover, but like why? Riverdale has always seemed more like a light-hearted, mystery gang thriller (if such a thing exists) as opposed to Sabrina, which can honestly be downright creepy. I don’t see where they were going with the G&G game, and it kind of got out of hand. It was almost too silly to even believe (it’s a TV show, I get it but still).
  • I’m actually getting all of the villains/gangs/supporting characters confused with each other. I can’t keep up with how many new characters are being introduced, and it doesn’t even really matter, because they’re all going to die anyway, right?
  • Going back to the high school relationships. I’ve always been Team Jughead and Betty from the beginning, but like the rest of them need to cool it. Like I came to peace with Veronica and Archie becoming a thing, but then they “break up” when nothing really even happened. Sure, Archie basically sends himself to jail for what reason? Anyway, we all knew it came down to Ronnie not being able to resist Reggie’s charm.
  • And the freaking cheer to “Jailhouse Rock” outside of the prison... A little too on the nose right? I’m so over the Glee-esque performances. We get it, they’re all super talented. Move on.
  • I’m still so confused about The Farm, and how it’s related to the Gargoyle King. Evelyn. Alice and Polly’s involvement. How everyone wanted to join? And Chad Michael Murray??
  • So we have Jughead and Jellybean. What do FP and Gladys have against normal names?
  • Also, let it be known that I still hate that Betty’s mom’s name is Alice Cooper.
  • I was honestly starting to think Hal Cooper was immortal. He just won’t die! Black Hood was giving me major A vibes from PLL, and was waiting for a Red Hood to make an appearance. I’m so conflicted with these father-daughter relationships. Obviously it’s Betty’s dad, so she’s devastated when he’s dead, but like was that really him chasing her through the halls with a freaking hook hand?? To his own daughter? But of course, this is Riverdale and nothing makes sense.
  • But then there’s Veronica and Cheryl and their crazy ass dads. Is every dad in Riverdale a criminal/serial killer??
  • I love that the drug of choice is something called Fizzle Rocks. Imagine being in the writer’s room during that pitch, “Okay, it’s like Pop Rocks but hear me out... It’s a hallucinogen!”
  • So many seizures. You get a seizure! You get a seizure! Everyone gets a seizure!
  • And hey, why was Archie mauled by a mutha f-ing bear?? Oh the drama!
  • Let me get this straight, because Veronica and Archie had been broken up for like a second, Archie decides to take advantage of his time with Josie, and make them an item. I’m not buying it, and I’m glad they’re not “endgame” *insert eyeroll here* Josie deserves better!
  • It wasn’t enough to have Pop’s be their meet up for infinity milkshakes they never even touch, but now Veronica opens a speakeasy underneath. AND a casino?! These bitches are still in high school right?
  • Least favorite song that was covered: "Daddy Lessons" by Veronica Lodge. Yeah, no.
  • Oh and Archie is now a boxer. What can’t this kid do?
  • I don’t NOT like Cheryl and Toni together, but I just hate Cheryl so I have a hard time believing that Toni would continuously put up with Cheryl’s BS. That being said, we knew they wouldn’t remain broken up. They’re one of the more solid couples on this show.
  • Oooh surprise to find out that Jughead’s mom is up to no good. That’s why this bitch wasn’t around the first two seasons.
  • How did they have the time to put on Heathers: The Musical during all this crazy shit??
  • Veronica’s parents finally got divorced like yeah, it’s about time. But of course, she’s having a hard time with it? Honestly girl, how have you not moved in with a cool aunt yet or whatever?
  • I’m at a loss for words with the whole dead Jason thing. What.
  • Betty’s gone a little insane, and I am totally here for it. With a family like that, how could you not though?
  • Yay for Josie getting the hell out of Riverdale to tour with her dad! Ain’t nothing there for you anyway, girl. But then of course, Archie and Veronica come to their senses, and are back together by the end of the season. Of freaking course.
  • Now The Farm is harvesting organs?!? What is happening.
  • So Alice was undercover at The Farm the entire time. Thank god. I obviously still have questions regarding the hypnosis, and all that fuckery.
  • Totally lost by the end, but yay, they’ll be friends forever. And then the flash forward to senior year where Betty, Veronica, and Archie are burning their clothes, covered in blood, and Jughead is nowhere to be found. What does it meeeeean?
  • Last minute thought! I did enjoy the flashback episode to the parents in high school playing G&G. It was cool seeing them portray their interpretation of those characters, and what they were like back then.

Anyway, I left out many details, because how can anyone even keep up at this point?! I did my best. This has been another review (AKA fifty million questions) by yours truly.

Shelby Weimer
Shelby Weimer
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Shelby Weimer

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