The Return of the Order: Act 27

Lilith had felt Raven's pain; she desperately wanted to comfort her brother but was frightened to leave William's side. She needed to be there when he woke. Her mother's word circled around her head; what if he couldn’t accept her after what the demons had done to him? What if everything they had barely started came crashing down, how could she go on knowing that he despised half of her being?

Tears streamed down her face as she contemplated life without William, without the life she had been dreaming of since they had first met. A groan brought her out of her thoughts. She quickly wiped her face and turned to see William's eyes were open.

“William.”

“Lilith, you came for me.”

“Yes, with mother and Raven. Grandfather secured your release from those that found you.”

William was silent for a moment, trying to piece together the fragments that he remembered. He lifted his uninjured hand and brushed her cheek. "You took a great risk; how did you know where to find me?"

Lilith recounted what happened in the library, the appearance of Peter and the injuries to Grell.”

William frowned, “I should have dispatched him myself. I must know how Grell is.”

He tried to move only for pain from his shoulder to leaving him gasping.

“I will fetch father; he has been tending to him.”

William’s faced paled at the mention of her father, but he nodded is assent.

Lilith made her way to the door and called for her father, who appeared in moments.

“William is awake, he wants to know about Grell.”

Sebastian entered to room; his mood still sombre from the decisions that had been made earlier.

“William, I am glad to see you are back with us. Most of your injuries are superficial; however, your hand and shoulder may take a little longer to heal.”

"Thank you, Sebastian, I owe your family a great debt for my rescue. Has the library truly fallen? And, Grell, is it.." he could not bring himself to finish the question. Grell had been the bane of his life since joining the company, but still, there was always something about the reaper that William always thought made him worthy of a second chance.

“It has fallen.” Sebastian paused, taking a deep breath before continuing, “Grell was struck by an enchanted scythe while in the library. His actions saved my son, but almost at the cost of his own life.”

“Will he live?”

“Thanks to the sacrifice made by Margaret, yes, he is growing stronger.”

William frowned, seeing his confusion Sebastian recounted Margaret and Louisa’s actions and the cost to Margaret. Lilith gasped and began to cry openly. Sebastian looked at his daughter, realising that this was the first she had heard of this. “Go to her now, your mother is with her.”

Lilith looked to William, who squeezed her hand, "I am sure I am safe with your father, this time."

She left the room, pausing as she closed the door, listening to the conversation that continued between her father and William.

“And she will not allow Louisa to turn her.”

“No, and even if she would, she may now be too weak.”

“It is a decision I understand, why would she want to be a demon for eternity, given everything….”

As the words hit Lilith, she felt as though her heart would break. Making her way to Margaret's room, she replayed them in her head. She knew that reapers were not fond of demons, but he had so readily accepted her. If that had changed, did it mean he no longer felt anything for her? As she turned the handle of Margaret's door, she felt as if all was lost.

Louisa turned as she heard the door open. Tears streamed down Lilith’s face as she entered the room and saw the still and pale figure of Margaret laying on the bed. Louisa rose to greet her daughter, taking her in her arms and holding her tight.

"Why, mother?"

“It was Margaret’s choice, my sweet, she believes that Grell’s survival is more important than her own.”

“You could have refused.”

"And, she may have tried to save him anyway. Had she tried under the contract, and it took too much from her, I would have been faced with killing the reaper; the one that saved your brother's life. It was not a decision she wanted me to have to make."

Lilith sobbed into her mother's shoulder, her body shaking, the sadness she felt for Margaret, the pain from her brother, and her own heartbreak were crushing her. Louisa stood silently holding her daughter tight. She had wished so much that her children would be spared the pains and choices that she and Sebastian had faced. Louisa knew that it was more than Margaret's decision that weighed on her daughter, but she could only wait for Lilith to open up and choose to tell her.

“It is unfair, mother.” Lilith managed as her sobs subsided.

“No, it is not fair. Love rarely is; it is hard and messy, and complicated, but rarely fair.”

Lilith looked at her mother, “I know there is more worrying you, my sweet, I am your mother, it is my job to know.”

A slight smile appeared on Lilith’s face as her mother guided her to the seat next to Margaret’s bed. She sat down as her mother perched on the edge of the bed. “I am here to listen, I will never judge, and always be honest with you, my daughter.”

Lilith sat quietly, watching the shallow rise and fall of Margaret's chest as she lay somewhere between life and death as a result of a decision made in the best interests of her family. She tried to reconcile how the woman who had helped raise a family of demons could refuse to become one at the end. Lilith could not understand Margaret's refusal to join the family she had cared about for so long. Lilith tried to construct the words in her head, she needed to ensure that the question came out right.

“Mother, is it possible, if I wanted to, could I still choose to live as a human, like Lord Birch’s wife did?”

Louisa's breath caught in her throat; it was a question she had always feared one of them would ask. She had never forced them to choose their demon selves over their human. However, she had never encouraged their human sides either, not any more than she thought necessary to connect them to their emotions and gain an understanding of the world around them.

“It is possible, yes, why do you ask?”

Ignoring the question, Lilith continued, “what would it mean for me, if I were to take that path?”

“You would deny part of yourself. As you continued to deny its needs, you would grow weaker, your ability to transform, to use your powers would weaken. It is possible that over time you would lose those abilities altogether. However, the hunger, the need to feast would never leave you.”

"But you never used yours as a child, and they were there when you needed them most."

“My powers were bound by the Order, they laid dormant until awakened by your father. They would not have remained with me for long had I not fed after my first kill.”

"Did father ever ask if that is what you wanted, to be a demon?"

Louisa looked at her daughter, there was something Lilith wasn't telling her. Anger and sadness rose within Louisa as she began to realise the source of all the questions. "He never needed to; I made the choice before I left the Order. Their actions, the actions they made me take solidified that choice. Your father sensed that within me. He embraced that part of me, the part that connected me to him and to your grandfather. It is the only reason I am alive; the only reason you and your brother are here."

“Would father not have loved you as a human then?”

“You misunderstand my words, daughter. I would not have survived if it were not for my demon side. I may have never returned to life from my fight with the Order and certainly would never have taken on nor survived the angel.”

"That doesn't answer my question, mother."

"I can't answer what I do not know, Lilith. He loved me for who I was, who he knew me to be, as I did him. Now, will you tell me what has led you to such questions?"

Lilith sat with her focus on Margaret, she could not look her mother in the eyes. She could feel Louisa’s concern and her rising anger despite her mother attempting to restrain herself. Louisa was at a loss; if she said what was upmost on her mind now, she risked losing her daughter, but silence wasn’t an option either, not with the gravity of the choice that Lilith was considering.

"Do not make any decision rashly, daughter, ensure that you have understood fully what is troubling you first. In the meantime, visit your brother, he is likely as confused and upset as you are at this moment."

Lilith nodded, she stood and left the room without a word, leaving her mother to return her attention to Margaret. Lilith hesitated as she reached her room, her hand hovering just above the door handle. As her tears started to flow again, she snatched back her hand and continued to Raven’s room.