The Cassandra Crossing

The late 70s saw quite a few disaster films but this one, released in 1976, sets itself apart for a few reasons. Starting with the ridiculous cast; OJ, Sophia Loren, Marin Sheen? And it doesn’t stop there. Richard Harris and Burt Lancaster along with the guy who played Hyman Roth in Godfather II. Labor cost was high for the time.

In the spirit of full disclosure, I will admit I loved this movie when I saw it as a kid and still think it has one of the most viable premises ever!

The opening scene is three motivated dudes break into the International Health Organizations HQ in Geneva with the intent to do harm. They run into some resistance and before they can set off their bomb (to what end is still a mystery), they kill three guards, and have to abort the mission.

One of the bombers gets killed, two make a break for it through a high-security area, and in the ensuing shootout, a second bomber gets killed and the third guy gets doused with a healthy amount of liquid science. The third guy leaps through a window, sprints to the train station and stows away in the luggage/animal car.

Back at IHO Burt Lancaster arrives in Geneva. He’s serious, stoic, cryptic, and dressed in a black suit and fedora. Intense music plays when he moves in any direction. Burt takes control of the situation and enlists the help of the Medicine Woman in Chief.

But, let’s get back on board. Richard Harris is a famous doctor, Sophia is his ex-wife twice and a famous author, Martin Sheen is the boy-toy of the wife of an arms dealer, OJ is a priest, Hyman Roth is a purveyor of stolen goods and always on the grift, and those are really the only people that matter.

Back at IHO, the Medicine Woman in Chief figures out that the US has been developing bio-weapons and storing them there, at the IHO, in Geneva, home of the Geneva Convention prohibiting the development of bio-weapons. Burt says F- it and takes off his top coat to reveal he’s a colonel with army intelligence and whatever bomber number 3 got soaked in is something soap and water won’t get rid of. In fact, it’s a customized, virulent, airborne contagion for which there is no cure. They quickly surmise that the only way bomber number 3 could have gotten very far is the train. Medicine Woman urges Burt to stop the train but he says it’s too risky.

Also, Interpol is chasing a heroine dealer and suspects he is on the train as well. Not relevant? Wait for it.

Next Burt is on the radio explaining to Richard Harris that the entire train (1k passengers) may be infected. Good news is that only 60% are actually going to die without treatment. The rest will just walk it off. The plan is to get to a treatment center hence train will not be making its regular stops, lest passengers debark and kill 60% of the world’s population. Burt via the radio and the train’s PA system tells the passengers that terrorists have threatened the Paris station and the train is being rerouted. It will cost them a day at most.

The passengers are outraged, shouting, threatening to jump from the moving train when OJ delivers the calming words: “Better one day late to Paris than twenty years early to heaven.”

Martin Sheen is not placated. Meanwhile, Virus Guy is sharing a water bowl with a bloodhound and sweating profusely. He has a bit of a fever at this point and he is hungry so next stop, the kitchen. On his way, he befriends a child, sweats everywhere, brushes against people and contaminates the entire train. He is next seen coughing profusely in the kitchen where he drinks from the sink—virus got him thirsty ya’ll.

Now the train reaches its next scheduled stop and here’s where it gets great. A bunch of guys in hazmat suits and armed with Uzis load up the train with oxygen tanks ostensibly to help those with respiratory issues – one of the early symptoms. Outside, on the platform, another group of hazmat suited guys begins sealing the train. How, you may ask? By putting large metal plates over the windows and welding the doors shut—people are now getting suspicious.

Burt assures Richard Harris that everything is alright; Richard Harris knows he’s full of it. The good news is that they are only hours from the treatment center which happens to be an abandoned concentration camp in Poland just the other side of a giant gorge known as Cassandra.

Upon reviewing the map of the route, Richard Harris notes that the rail line to the treatment center hasn’t been used in about thirty years and there is NO WAY this train is crossing it.

Now Medicine Woman figures out that oxygen rich environments will kill the virus so yay. But Martin Sheen attempts to escape by taking a hostage and in the process the radio gets shot to hell. So no way for Burt to tell them they have a cure.

Out of F’ing nowhere OJ arrives in Martin Sheen's cabin and announces he’s with Interpol and Martin Sheen is under arrest, not that it matters because none of them are long for this world. That bridge is really decrepit. Like unsafe for foot-traffic decrepit, pieces are falling off of it so frequently that the people who once lived below it moved.

Now Richard Harris takes command and with the help of OJ and believe it or not Dan Haggerty (Grizzly Adams) is attempting to take the train back from the hazmat crew. Richard Harris simply wants to separate the sick and dying from the healthy by disconnecting the cars on the fly.

Enter Hyman Roth, turns out he was a captive at said concentration camp and is not going back, even to visit. Roth steps up and sets off an explosion that separates the cars. The lead cars and engine reach the crossing and plummet thousands of feet along with a large portion of the passengers.

The detached cars manage to stop in the nick of time and hundreds of passengers debark in into the wilds of Poland. Are any of them infected? Who knows, hell, Burt thinks everyone died in the crash that he knew was imminent. Medicine Woman simply hangs her head in disgust.

Then the credits roll. Yep that’s it, no more movie.