Supernatural

So, what does happen when one of the longest-running shows on television comes to an end? Hurt, anger, and confusion? Happiness or sadness? Perhaps even a mixture of these.

Supernatural had been a part of my life, I had consumed most of my teenage years by binge-watching episodes. I knew eventually that all good things - or shows - must come to an end. I'd never wanted to accept that. You see I have a fear of endings, a fear that I'll never get to experience the fictional universe that was created, that it had left me and was never coming back.

It's something I tackle even now while I write my own stories. I hate endings. I don't like the empty feeling that takes over - because I realize I've invested too much of my emotions and heart into something wonderful. There's nothing wrong with that pain, you need closure to deal with it so that you can go back to your mundane life afterward.

When Supernatural ended I had to come to terms with - spoiler alert - an ending I wasn't sure I could cope with. It didn't feel like an ending that I could find peace with at first. I wanted my happy ending of Sam and Dean driving off into the sunset, with nothing to look back on and only the future they wanted to make. I was blissfully dreaming hoping for that.

The writers created an ending that killed off one of the main characters - Dean, it felt like getting punched in the gut. I'd spent years of my life watching and loving this show and that's how the writers repay us? Where Sam didn't even seek out a way for his brother to come back, he just accepted it and moved on? I couldn't believe it.

The brothers had always fought tooth and nail (oh the irony!) to stay together throughout the show, all their character development where they were in this together just vanished before my eyes. I wasn't sure how to feel, regret? Anger? Sadness? The writers had officially clowned us.

But now looking back on it. I understand some part of it. I'm the older sibling in my family, I could understand Dean's action. You want nothing more than to see your younger siblings grow, you want them to experience life and be happy - to be free. From Dean's perspective, he's always gone out of his way to protect Sam. I would do the same. In this sense the ending was perfect, you got to see family letting go of each other. Dean giving Sam his peace from the life of a hunter.

The heaven that they'd ended up in together was our closure. Sure I wasn't happy I didn't get them driving in the Impala into the sunset, sure we Destiel shippers didn't get everything we wanted. But the show ended on a spot where they were free from the manipulative God Chuch and free from giving up their lives to saving the world.

It's still painful but at the same time oddly beautiful.