Nobody puts Baby in a Corner

Putting your viewing needs in a box is like trying to put baby in a corner. Someday, Patrick Swayze will come dance with you. Wait... that's not what I meant... Let me start again.

You’re a Renaissance person - a person with many passions. I hear ya. When someone asks that inevitable ice-breaker question...

“If you were stuck on a desert island and could only watch/read/eat one movie/book/food, what would it be?”

...you want to kill them.

NO WAY you could choose!

You love horror, fantasy, off beat things; and wow, choosing a restaurant any weekend is an exercise in futility. Why can’t they make Thai, Mexican, Italian, Middle Eastern potluck restaurants?

I got your back. Read on.

It’s Saturday night, and you settle to chillax, after a long week.

The dilemma... What to watch, when you are faced with so many movies, shows, channels? I think the best way to answer this question is to ask one. What have you previously enjoyed? And then - which aspect of your eclectic personality should we entertain tonight?

Let’s start with that inner geek, that loves mysteries, superheroes, anti-heroes, and men in tights.

What would happen if you married Game of Thrones with the T.V. series Merlin and Xena? You would get a different kind of hero, with a lot of fighting, twists, magick and eye candy, right? If that sound like it is tickling your fancy tonight, grab some popcorn and sit down to the Netflix show, The Witcher.

Starring Henry Cavill as Geralt of Rivia, sporting a long, white mane of hair, this show is an adaptation of 6 fantasy novels. In 2007, it was made into a video game. Be prepared to want more, as season one closes. An epic battle, worthy of Lord of the Rings, culminates in unanswered questions. Lucky for us, the cast has been set for season 2, and 2021 will hopefully give us a little closure.

Wait... not ready to stick to the more serious, and bloody side of your geekdom? No worries, my lovelies. I got you.

You’ve always loved The Twilight Zone, and the new one by Jordan Peele was super fun. You also are in the mood for some nostalgia. Maybe That 70’s Show or The Goldbergs totally float your boat. Can we possibly mix those things in a little bowl, and come up with something delicious? Well, of course we can.

Try WandaVision on Disney plus. Even if you are not a Marvel Cinematic Universe fan, this will be a fun watch. Trust me. Opening with a black and white I love Lucy/Dick Van Dyke Show vibe, this has you scratching your head on episode one. I found myself having a blast each episode just guessing which television shows they were parodying.

Moving from that decade, we feel slightly Bewitched by Wanda and Vision discovering color. I won’t go on, however, I will let you know that if you are a huge MCU geek, some big pay-offs come in episode 3 and 4, so don’t stop watching just because it feels too slow for you at first. Hold on to your tights, my friends, Wanda Maximoff will take you on a magickal ride.

What’s that you say? I started with describing WandaVision by discussing The Twilight Zone, and that got your hackles up for some old fashioned scary stories? No worries. I still got you!

You love shows like Goosebumps, Amazing Stories, and movies like Creepshow? When you were a kid, did you get all excited when you heard the music for Are you Afraid of the dark? Can you even hear it right now? In 2021?

That’s because there is a brand new version of Are you Afraid of the dark, and you will be delighted by this one! Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this part of the article, are you ready for the return of Are you Afraid of The Dark? I totally am! This has all “the feels” of the old Nickelodeon show, with a new twist. The story continues throughout the entire season. Everything about this new revamped version is thrilling, and slightly terrifying. If you are settling down to watch this, be prepared to watch all three hour-long episodes in one night.

Maybe grab less salty snacks for this one. Season two is a new group of kids, so you are saved from a 6 hour veg fest in front of the screen.

Don’t have that kind of time to invest, but still want horror? Let me think. You say you loved Hollow Man, but want to stay more than 6 degrees from Kevin Bacon? I know. That was a bad joke. But I made it anyway. And you are still reading, so….

Sorry. I digress. Let me give you a spooky alternative.

Try The Unseen on Amazon Prime. Main character, Bob Langmore has abandoned his family, and his teenage daughter is not ready to forgive. When she is abducted, he risks exposing his secret.

You guessed it. I said this was like Hollow Man, after all. He is becoming invisible. Occasionally, you may get annoyed by the broody father/daughter dynamic; however, this movie is very satisfying, if you can make it through the very slow first half.

I really liked being able to see the internal organs, as his skin disappeared. Unlike other movies, re-telling the original Invisible man, this one treats invisibility like a congenital disease, that slowly turns small sections of the body invisible, starting with skin, and moving to muscle, internal organs, and finally bone.

This is not a movie for someone looking for straight horror. There is a storyline, and real human feelings mixed up in this one.

The most complaints I’ve seen about the movie are that it doesn’t explain why the disease renders the victims invisible. I think that is irrelevant to the plot.

This is more about human reaction to an unexplained phenomenon, which frightens others, and subjects the afflicted to unwanted attention, subjugation and even dangerous experiments. You have to be in the mood for this type of psychological/sociological commentary.

If you have ever seen Fido, and you thought about what the movie was really saying; maybe even got into a deep conversation about it, you are the kind of person who might give The Unseen a view. It does feel like it deals with a darker side of humanity.

Oh, that got your ears perked? “Darker side of humanity” fan? Then you definitely watched You, on Netflix. You gobbled up this thriller, and even watched season two with the same fervor! You might have felt a little guilty as you seemed to root for a murderer.

Season 3 just can’t come soon enough? Settle down to Netflix for a couple of hours to watch I Care A Lot.

Rosamund Pike stars as Marla Grayson, who is a shady legal guardian. Finding elderly people to take advantage of, stealing their money, and trapping them in a retirement home, she and her girlfriend are making a killing on this last lady!

Killing… accurate… ironic...

Seems this lady has ties to the Russian mafia! Peter Dinklage does an excellent job of frightening everyone but Marla, when he finds his Mother in her custody. This “rooting for a horrible villain vibe” will carry you through an adrenaline rush, for sure!

Speaking of horrible… do you seem to laugh at all of the politically incorrect humor when watching Southpark, Married with Children, or It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia? It’s ok. You’re among friends. I’ve found myself, mouth gaped, giggling absurdly at the antics of a certain show, you can catch on Netflix and Showtime.

If you are just starting the series, go to Netflix, and watch Shameless from the beginning. Set in South Chicago, this dramedy follows a family with little morals (and even less sobriety), however, you cannot help yourself, when you cheer on their malfeasance. William H. Macy plays the patriarch, Frank, who spends many episodes unconscious in multiple locations.

It’s fun to hear his ridiculous monologues, as he discusses everything from gentrification to alcoholism, child-raising, and political issues. You might actually feel the the show is titled thusly, because you feel ashamed of yourself for laughing hysterically.

There you go, my lovelies! Your eclectic style has been reflected and respected. Now that you have a few suggestions for your viewing pleasure, it’s time to figure out what you will be consuming for dinner. Good luck! I wish they had a website like Decider.com for food!