Movie Review: 'Firenado' is a Better Title Than a Movie

Firenado (2023)

Directed by Rhys Frake Waterfield, Scott Jeffrey

Written by Tom Joliffe

Starring Sian Altman, Nicola Wright, Stephen Staley

Release Date January 3rd, 2023

Published December 29th, 2022

Firenado is as dopey and low rent as that title indicates. The story goes that a group of weather scientists figured out a new way to study tornados with the ultimate goal of controlling a tornado. Finding a tornado in a remote area, in Ireland, I think, it's oddly unclear where the movie takes place, the group lets loose their technology only to accidentally grow the tornado beyond their control. Naturally, because the movie is called Firenardo, the out of control and over-powered tornado passes over the top of a gas station.

While pressing the boundaries of credibility, the gas pumps light the tornado on fire and the tornado grows further out of control. Our group of scientists, including Anna (Sian Altman), a student learning about meteorology, Helena (Nicola Wright) an assistant to the professor in charge of the experiment, Professor Devlin (Toby Wynn Davies). There is another guy there too, but he doesn't matter much. He's a brief comic relief character who is offed quickly amid the early destruction of the tornado.

There is a secondary plot in Firenado because apparently stopping a tornado that is on fire is not enough drama for one movie. Thus, we get a heist plot. A group of criminal's plans to enact a heist in the midst of the storm. Unaware that the tornado they are planning to use for cover has become a firenado, the criminals attack a safe house where an accountant, Pierce Moore (Daniel Godfrey), is hiding out with millions of dollars.

Somehow, the scientists are also on their way to this safe house. The scientists are working their way across the countryside warning people to run from the firenado with minimal success. For some reason, people are skeptical of the idea of a tornado on fire on the Irish countryside. Our heroes then, happen to arrive at the safe house just as the criminals do and a shootout ensues, somehow, until the firenado catches up. Then we get a chase scene and another multi-million dollar safe house and a burgeoning romance between Pierce and Anna and, have I mentioned, there is a tornado that is on fire because the actors barely seem to notice.

You might be surprised to know that a fire tornado, or Firenado, is a real thing. Not the way it happens in this movie, obviously, but they do happen. It's rare but, most often they occur related to atmospheric conditions surrounding forest fires. There is little, really no chance that a tornado hitting a gas station will lead to a 'Firenado,' as happens in this movie. That said, of course, this movie is not based on any real danger. Instead, Firenado is a very silly B-movie looking to capitalize on the already dated trend of placing odd things inside of Tornados like Sharks, Ghosts, Dinosaurs, and Cars.

Sharknado, of course, was the progenitor of the genre. But, to compound the mercenary laziness of Firenado, this isn't even the first movie to put fire and tornados together. In 2013, there was a Canadian disaster movie called 'Fire Twister' That film starred B-Movie legend Casper Van Dien and had the fire started by eco-terrorists who attacked an oil rig and accidentally started a fire twister. I've not seen it but it sounds far more fun in description than Firenado was as I watched it.

There is a sad, unfortunate, disconnect in intentions at play in Firenado. The premise is taken far too seriously with the actors seemingly unaware of how silly it is that this Firenado is chasing them through what appears to be the Irish countryside. There are strange accents that seem to vacillate throughout the movie, there is a heist plot that is wildly dumb, and the leading actor in the movie is best known for starring on a reality series called Love Island which apparently only ever aired on an App. Judge that how you will.

This is a lot of silly elements for a movie with zero sense of humor. At least Sharknado acknowledged how dumb it was while insulting our intelligence. Firenado proceeds through its plot with a grim faced, mirthless, melodrama as if we'd be capable of taking anything we see in it seriously. It's a movie called Firenado, can't someone, just one character, acknowledge how silly this is? Sadly, no and because of that, the laughable special effects, and the abysmal acting, Firenado is simply no fun whatsoever.

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