Modern Problems Call for Modern Solutions

Have you ever heard of the nostalgia gland? No? Not many people have, but there are those who swear it exists. It’s located near the heart, and it can be easily manipulated by the entertainment industry, among other businesses. The nostalgia gland produces an enzyme that causes warm and fuzzy feelings related to the happier, “simpler” times of one’s childhood. This gland has helped to rake in millions, or not billions of dollars with the “everything old is new again” adaptations of many iconic, multimedia franchises of the 1980s, like Transformers, and has been a proven success with programming that is set in the 80s, like Stranger Things. Now with the year 2020 just around the corner, it’s time for the now 30-something-year-old 90s babies to have their nostalgia glands manipulated, starting with an old favorite from a bygone era of Nickelodeon's Nicktoons, Rocko’s Modern Life.

Set twenty years after the finale of the original run to series, Rocko’s Modern Life: Static Cling shows us what happened to Rocko the wallaby, his dog Spunky, and his best friends, Heffer the cow, and Filburt the turtle. As it turned out, for reasons I don’t know of, because I never watched the series finale, Rocko’s house was impaled by a rocket ship, that then launched him and his friends into outer space, where they have apparently been living for the past two decades. Surprisingly, Rocko and his friends haven’t aged a day, and their muscles haven't atrophied from being in zero gravity for so long, because cartoon physics. Total disregard for science aside, the trio end up landing back on Earth, and quickly adjust to the changes of the new world. “The 21st Century is a very dangerous century.” But in the end, all Rocko cares about is for new episodes of his favorite cartoon series to be produced, and so he sets out to find the series’ creator to convince him to do a revival.

I must confess that I was never a big fan of Rocko when it was on. Sure, I watched a few episodes here and there, but I was transitioning over from being a Nickelodeon kid to more a Cartoon Network kid at the time. And by the time the unbearably annoying Spongebob Squarepants debuted, I have given up on Nickelodeon entirely. In other words, I only had faint memories of Rocko, so I was quite taken aback when I saw this special on Netflix and was quickly reminded how much it relied on gross out humor. There’s literally a character whose whole gimmick is that his finger is constantly up his nose. If that is your kind of humor, then this will be right up your alley. But I found it got irritating and unfunny after three bathroom jokes.

Maybe it’s just me, but I also found the plot of the story made no sense. So Rocko and his friends are now in the 2010s and are in awe of all the modern technology, however, Rocko’s biggest concern is that he can’t watch his favorite cartoon series, not even in reruns. Um, okay, this is an alternate 2019 where DVDs, Blu-Rays, and streaming media doesn’t exist? If you apply the littlest shred of logic that if this series that Rocko loved so much had such a big fan following, surly it would be available on home video or on a streaming service. Granted, they try to sweep this little inconvenience under the rug by saying that Rocko wants new episodes of the series, but it doesn’t change the fact that it should still widely available in some format.

Juvenile humor and plot holes aside, the special also takes the usual potshots at modern culture that have been done to death a thousand times. “There’s a Starbucks on every street corner!" “Apple puts out a new iPhone every few seconds, and sheepeople flock to buy it!" “Amazon.com preys on people who make impulse purchases for stuff they don’t need!" “People lose track of time and watch videos on YouTube for ten hours straight!" “Instagram and Snapchat are such silly and superficial outlets to seek attention on!" Yes, these are all true and correct statements, but they have all been made before, and nothing new is being added to the conversation. Sure, the jab at Apple is amusing on the surface level, but Samsung and Google have been pointing out the iPhone’s shortcomings every year for the past decade. If this somehow led to a major plot point like new episodes of Rocko’s favorite series being aired on iPhones (or O-Phones, as they are called in this world) for maximum viewership, at least then it would be of some importance and furthering the commentary of that subculture. But no, it’s just a cheap laugh and nothing more.

If there is one thing that the special does get right, it’s the message about embracing change in your life. Obviously Rocko’s need to watch his cartoon series is reflective of the retro culture of people who want to escape from the everyday hassles of life and enjoy something they treasured from their childhood. Ironically, Rocko is upset when the series finally does get its revival, but the addition of a new character causes the series to be “too different” to his liking, and he rejects it all together. Yeah, that’s mostly the fan reactions to any reboot of any beloved franchise from the past 40 years. Granted, that’s a little too spot-on of a message. They do try to coincide this message with a major change to a character's lifestyle, and his father rejecting him for it, but a parent rejecting their children due to lifestyle choices is quite the leap to be compared to fanboys having nerd rages over their favorite franchises being butchered for the sake of quick profits; that’s hardly the same thing. I suppose I should be grateful that the special has anything deeper to say at all.

Overall, I give Rocko’s Modern Life: Static Cling the dreaded one out of five stars. For a special that was only 45 minutes long, it felt like the longest 45 minutes of my life. At best, I had a chuckle once or twice, but otherwise, none of the jokes landed. If you are a die-hard fan of Rocko, I guess you will watch this no matter what, but I can’t recommend that you do. I can only chalk this one up to another example of an outside studio making a dud, and Netflix being stupid enough to buy the rights to it. That concludes this fan-picked review. And remember, when it comes to the media that you consume, be less like Netflix, and more like Indiana Jones, and choose wisely.

Short Version

Pros:

Does provide a message about embracing change.

Cons:

Unfunny humor depends too much on gross out moments and recycled jokes about pop culture.

Major plot hole that causes the narrative to fall apart if you stop to think about it.

Verdict: * (one out of five stars).