Judas Iscariot and Jesus Christ: Zombie Slayers

The Life of Brian is one of Monty Python's most beloved and well known films. Personally, I don't really like it.

Well apart from the "What have the Romans ever done for us!?" scene.

But apart from the "What have the Romans ever done for us!?" scene, I don't really like The Life of Brian.

... Alright, there's the scene with the grammar/graffiti lesson.

But apart from the grammar/graffiti lesson and the "What have the Romans ever done for us!?" scene, I don't really like The Life Of Brian.

... Biggus Dickus.

Well of course I like the Biggus Dickus joke! The Biggus Dickus joke goes without saying! But apart from "What have the Romans ever done for us!?", the grammar/graffiti lesson and the Biggus Dickus bit, I don't really like The Life of Brian.

Bit of a tangent there, sorry. The point is, I was somewhat surprised to find out that one of my best friends doesn't like The Life of Brian. We have a lot of the same interests so I was somewhat surprised. Her reason's more than valid: she gets that it's satire against blindly following a religion, and she knows the main character isn't Jesus and all of that jazz. She personally feels that you shouldn't be making fun or light of the crucifixion.

And let's be honest, that's a completely valid point to have.

The reason I bring this up is that you've got to understand that this friend was in the forefront of my mind when I was watching the 2012 Spanish-language short film Fist of Jesus. For the first three or four minutes, I was wondering if this friend might like it. She's into stuff that does examine religion and religious doctrine; Good Omens has been her most recent interest. The basis of the film, a young Jesus Christ unfamiliar with his powers, is an interesting concept.

Then Lazarus jumps up, rips his father's throat out with his teeth and Jesus starts screaming in terror as the zombie apocalypse begins in Nazareth.

"No," I thought to myself, "No, I will not be showing her this."

I believe I got my copy of Fist of Jesus along with a copy of the game Fist of Jesus (I'm planning on reviewing that too), the soundtrack for both (again, a review is coming) and some nice pieces of art made to promote the game, mostly postcards.

So, where do we begin with Fist of Jesus?

Good question. The premise from the outset is absurd: Jesus and Judas, fighting a zombie apocalypse. The plot starts with Jesus delivering a sermon when he is approached by Jacob. Jacob's son Lazarus has died, and Jesus promises he shall miraculously resurrect him. Jesus touches Lazarus, commands him to awake and he does. Jacob and his wife are over the moon!

Until they're savagely attacked by zombie Lazarus, who begins turning his victims into the undead, who in turn turn their victims into the undead. Jesus and Judas run away to plan. Judas tries to commit suicide rather than turn into an unholy abomination (holy abomination?). But Jesus resurrects him in a moment of what I can only describe as "pitch-black comedy." From there on, the two men fight off the zombies with fish. It's worth noting that Jesus doesn't punch a lot of zombies in this film.

It's an absurd film and it revels in it; the leader of the zombies is a zombie cowboy. One of many zombie cowboys. There's the aforementioned fish-fu, and then there's the insane ways that the zombies are eliminated.

Arms are ripped off, feet are nailed to the floor with fish bones, at one point a piranha is thrown at zombie, and when we cut back to it he's been skeletonised. The level of bloody violence is ridiculously comical in the best way. I honestly found myself getting taken out of the action to wonder how much the film must have spent on fake blood alone. The ingenuity of Monica Murguia, who was leading the team providing the make up and visual effects, is honestly staggering. We've got bits of mannequins and skeletons being covered in rags and fake blood and thrown around, sure. But we also have some brilliant jump-cuts to a fish going straight through someone's skull, and another body gets the top of it's head cut off leaving two bulging eyeballs quivering in place.

It's clear that so much creativity and fun was had by the props department in bringing this project to life. I never knew there were so many ways to destroy a mannequin. The special effects extend to having another zombie ripped almost in two, Lazarus' mother having her intestines ripped out and thrown on the floor, one unfortunate roman soldier gets cut in half by a swordfish.

I've always felt that suspension of disbelief is a mixed bag. Sometimes yeah, it's fun to stay engaged with the plot, but I've always liked it when I see an incredible practical effect and think "How did they do that!?" Rest assured I had plenty of "How did they do that!?" moments during the 15 minute long film. The only props that don't really hold up are the Roman soldiers with their wooden looking swords, and cardboard armour and helmets. But even then, a lot of work's been put into outfitting them and assembling their kit. For a short indie-movie, the Roman soldiers being recognisable as Roman soldiers deserves praise. Besides, with the amount of blood and body parts being thrown around I'm not paying attention to the costumes, and you certainly won't be either. It's worth noting that the sound design for this film is mixed very well, and matches pretty well to give the Roman zombies a sense of having heavy armour.

The comedy mostly relies on the aforementioned insane amounts of gore, and the bizarre (second) deaths inflicted upon the zombies. The film also gets one or two moments of dark comedy. One of the main appeals for me, and what I expect will be a turn off for a lot of other people, is it's frankly sociopathic portrayal of Jesus Christ, lord and saviour of mankind. This version of Jesus (played by Marc Velasco) is nothing like the way the Bible tells us; he cowardly pushes an old woman in the way of a zombie, and runs away at the first sign of danger. Indeed, Judas (portrayed by Noe Blancafort, as a nervous and slightly exasperated close friend of Jesus) even suggests that Jesus was trying to show off and got it wrong!

Towards the middle of the film, Jesus' personality switches to that of an action hero, stoically taking out zombies, making quips and puns. Meanwhile Judas remains anxious and scared, frantically trying to get away (even then, he has a rather sociopathic grin on his face as he impales a prone zombie). As the film goes on, and Jesus symbolically gets more and more blood on his robes and his... self, he begins to act more like a barbarian, roaring and screaming as he demolishes the undead in increasingly creative and violent ways. A stark contrast to an at times tearful Judas. The last scene of the film before the title card has Jesus, scarlet from head to toe, screaming at the skies while Judas looks upon the devastation they've wrought with a look on his face that the viewer shares all too well:

"What the Heck did I just watch?"

I honestly liked Fist of Jesus; it's completely ridiculous, over the top and insane. If nothing else it gives you fifteen minutes of blasphemous, zombie-fighting action.

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Fist of Jesus is a film by David Munoz and Adrian Cardona. The official website is here.