IF THIS, THEN THAT

You’re dreaming. A consensus on a good movie? Never.

Deputising for her parents I am with Asha my granddaughter who insists that it is movie night. Now, I understand ‘Postman Pat’ and ‘Fireman Sam’ even ‘Shaun the Sheep’ but we have moved on to ‘Sponge Bob’ then matured to other bizarre cartoon type productions. Unrecognisable monster like characters in strange colours and features. They can perform supernatural movements with unbelievable speed. Did you notice their diminished feet? Some even had no feet at all. Being the designated adult during the school holidays to take Asha to the movies in town,I have had to sit through cartoon movies of psychotic dimensions. Frantic and unpredictable movement, brilliant flashes of bright colour with no resemblance of reality. Story line obscure with no reference to anything I understand. Yes I know I am a senior citizen and passed it. I can’t even figure out what some of the ads on Television are talking about.

“Grandma wake up”

No, I am not asleep but just avoiding brain damage.

With Asha in bed it’s time to check on the 6 foot teenager in his room. In the semi darkness I see a flashing screen the blue light reflected on his intense face giving him a ghostly look.

Now what could a fifteen year old recommend.

Hands busy with a device. Noise of guns shooting, grunts and unrecognisable shouts, footsteps running, explosions.

“Watch this Grandma, my score is up to ten thousand eight hundred and I’m on the third level.”

I pull up a chair and am amazed at all the death and mayhem hitting my senses from the screen. What happened to that sweet boy?

Later that week I end up on the farm sitting with my sick daughter. Hysterical laughter bursts from the lounge room. More re runs of Kevin Coights ‘All Aussie Adventures’. This hapless, bumbling fellow tries to impress with his bush knowledge as he travels through outback Australia encountering all sorts of impossible hurdles that he needs to overcome. As the boys drift off to bed the remote is taken over by my son-in-law who is enamoured with reality shows. Tonight it’s one of his favourite, ‘Married at First Sight’, along with this one he also in into the ‘Bachelor’ series. These contrived and manipulated shows are tacky at best but Australia loves the day to day interaction of the cast. Not for me.

It is becoming clear I cannot take movie recommendations from any of those sources.

Home again but not alone.

Did you know that you can watch televised sport at any given time of the day? In between times comes ‘Judge Judy’ and ‘Bold and Beautiful’. Now I am of the older generation of women who defer to others. There on the couch clutching the TV remote is my Husband. AFL Football is preferred but, any brand of football will do along with tennis, golf, car racing. Anything, but not fishing.

If I happen to be foolish enough to sit beside him to read my book he regales me with long commentaries of the progress of whatever game is on. My son-in-law fuels Kevin’s obsession with sport as he has been a sports commentator in another life. The two of them sitting on the couch leaves no room for anyone else.

I certainly disappear when ‘Judge Judy’ in on. Petty arguments and meanness to others is hard for me to take. Judge Judy is a clever showman knowing exactly what appeals to the viewer. More reality television.

Now ‘Bold and Beautiful’ happens to come of at afternoon tea time. After years of afternoon tea times watching Brooke and Ridge with their marriages. Did you know that Brooke has been married at least seventeen times. Weddings bring in the viewers. The viewing is not in a serious vein. It is a game we play, predicting what they will say next and commenting on the action or lack of it. We have long memories and what went before is often ignored and re written to fit the story of the moment.

Now you’ve had the recommendations of others even if it is late in the day I do sometimes have the couch to myself.

Pre World War Two movies are my passion. Right back to 1927 when Talkies emerged. Think of the Classics of ‘Gone With the Wind’ or ‘Wizard of Oz’. So many famous movies even in the silent movie times. Also remember ‘The General’ or Charlie Chaplin’s genius. Studying the costumes that are worn especially the beautiful slinky gowns of the 1930’s or the flapper dresses of the twenties. I enjoy the perfect diction of the actors and the theatre like stage shots of the camera work.

Going back to the 1934 American movie ‘It Happened one Night’. Clark Gable with his classic romantic hero look and the beautiful face of Claudette Colbert takes us through this romantic comedy romp all the way from Florida to New York. It is the traditional Battle of the Sexes. Five times Oscar winner this movie can’t be forgotten. There was a scandalous scene where Clark took off his shirt and was bare chested underneath. This scene had a bad effect on the sale of men’s undershirts at the time.

The movies had a clear story line with muted violence if there was any and an innocence and subtlety that modern movie makers could take note of.

Go back in history and explore the incredible talent of the past and learn again how to make really exceptional movies.