I used to be self-deprecating with my reading habits

by Thao Thao Tran 5 months ago in literature

Surely everyone who has ever forgotten to spend time with someone who likes the same book, or books with similar content. It feels good to meet a soul mate. I'm so jealous of those people, because I have never met anyone who can talk to me about books I read.

I used to be self-deprecating with my reading habits
I used to be self-deprecating with my reading habits

What are your feelings when reading the Alchemist? When I hadn't read this book, I asked my friend to let me review. She simply said that a young person struggles a lot to achieve his dream, but there are no other special feelings. And the quote is so popular from the story we meet forever, so much so that I thought it would be a "logo" for the book, is "when you yearn for something, the whole universe will join forces to help you." get there ”. I am not impressed with this review and the quote is repeated many times. It wasn't until last year that I read this book, because it's thin and because I'm stressed by work, I just want to read something fast. I've read it startled because this volume is "too" and "heavy". I cried numb for it.

I quote here some of my favorite sentences. When separated from the context of the story, it is also somewhat "discolored", so if you have time, you try to read the book again to see if you have any new ideas; psychic, just meditate in the most ordinary way this book is very profound already. “The world is only a visible part of God. Knitting metallurgy is responsible for transferring the perfection of spirituality to the material world ”; "So gold, rather than a symbol of evolution, became the cause of conflict," "I observed the party all the way across the desert. The delegation and the desert spoke the same language, so they were allowed to cross it, "" if they do not understand the language, they will die in the first place ".

And I'm more attracted to Gandhi, Leonardo or Tolstoy than Steve Jobs, Bill Gates or Warren Buffett. I absorbed a philosophical essay or abstract novel faster than business principles. Because of this, when I started my first job, I fell down painfully. In the FMCG industry with the keywords "competition" and "revenue, profit", the genre of books I read is labeled "unrealistic" and "too theoretical".

I forced myself to integrate my work. until I metamorphosed, became a surly person, always in a defensive position and fan who touched me. Then I realized that the core issue is the value conflict between me and the company. I want to "cooperate" and "influence" instead of "compete". I didn't read for a long time, partly because I didn't have time, partly because I was obsessed with the feeling of disgust when someone discussed a table at a book I was reading.

The day I resigned, I was afraid to cry. I'm not sad because I am corrupted or when my family scolds me for giving up high salaries; I'm also not afraid of starvation when I quit my job suddenly. The most shocking shock I faced was the complete disconnection from the emotional world in the books I read. I remember the feeling of flipping through every page of the book, but my mind was empty, I couldn't understand what I used to understand, and I could not link what I had read together.

My thinking speed is faster than my writing speed, so I never write or take notes and obviously nothing is saved. On the other hand I link information very wide. I can find common ground between an agricultural book and a movie in a song, a poem, a poem or a crime novel. To write down all these thoughts, it is impossible for me. So when the memory is corrupted, I lose it.

Do you know the Grenouille character in Scent? He "built" a world of smell in his nose. When you want to create a new fragrance he does not need to do experiments, just cut the smell in the nose is done. The way I build the data in my head is the same.

I'm so angry myself. My reading style was always separate from everyone but I never compromised, but at that time I was inferior and denied it. When I was a kid I blurted out how much I read, now I only smile unless someone asks me what book to read. Then I suddenly thought, surely a friend like me is also looking for me to be shared. I gave up halfway, not only me but that friend will be miserable.

It took me a year to face this fear.

Thao Thao Tran
Thao Thao Tran
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