I might be crazy but that usually works out well

When does passion become insanity? Perhaps it’s a line we each discern for ourselves. I will admit I’ve yet to find that line for myself. We can struggle to define that line or we can embrace inspiration when it presents itself and ignore the label of “crazy”. I prefer the latter, much to the amusement of my fellow crafters.

My preferred method of artistic expression, as of late, is dressmaking. I find quite a lot of my inspiration in books. When I read fantasy novels, I take note of costumes the authors concoct and consider adding them to my sewing bucket list. Many costumers have one. That list of dream projects that seem unattainable. Projects that require unthinkable amounts of time or a wealth of materials or an advanced skill set. The sad truth is many dream projects will only every be just that – a dream. When I saw the dress on the back cover Queen of Shadows by Sarah J Maas, it was love at first sight.

Queen of Shadows is the fourth book (not including the prequel novellas) in the Throne of Glass series, a young adult fantasy series about a femme fatale who learns to embrace her destiny and slays a few demons -literal and metaphorical -along the way. The dress on the back cover is mentioned in 3 scenes but is a commanding and symbolic garment nonetheless. Our adventuress buys it on impulse but doesn’t feel mature enough to wear it until years later, when she wears it in a pivotal scene. The dragon dress is a sophisticated, elegant gown of black velvet whose centerpiece is a breathtaking embroidered golden dragon on the back that starts at the neckline and runs the entire length of the dress.

After reading about the dress, I was distraught that something so beautiful and powerful did not actually exist in reality. I knew I had to make it and it had to be just as stunning. I’d flossed one corset and I tried a few stitches from a book of embroidery stitches. I knew I loved embroidery, so why not? I bought a few yards of crinoline, took my measurements to determine the boundaries for the back of the dress and started sketching. I started teaching myself to draw in college years ago and have sketched on and off since then, but it’s a unique experience trying to freehand all that detail from a reference photo less than six inches tall. I ran into issues with drawing the face of the dragon as it’s partially obscured so I taught myself about Japanese traditional art styles to complete the face and kept pressing forward.

After I finished sketching the first half, I decided to start the embroidery. The fantasy world described in the books is reminiscent of eras that predate embroidery machines so it had to be by hand. No using fabric paint. No buying an applique. It has to be the dragon from the back cover. A few months into the embroidery, it became very evident that my initial estimate of a few months to complete the dragon was wildly inaccurate. Still, I have worked on him every day since I started the embroidery, except one. It’s almost three years now since the day I started sketching the behemoth. Looking back, this hasn’t been a normal costume build for some time. I’ve found the embroidery to be therapeutic, with its repetitive motions and the total control of where the needle goes. It’s also been a nice challenge of a gift for colors I discovered a few years ago. My jobs since college have required a focus on detail and it’s been invaluable for this project. I’m lucky enough to have friends who make me step back when I fixate on perfecting the near invisible details.

However, I’ve also realized just how much life can change in three years. The death of a pet, the death of a true friend, apparent diagnosed with cancer, a global pandemic, the loss of a job, getting a new job, starting a small business. Over six hundred hours of hand embroidery for one project. The dragon has become a constant, an anchor. I always go back to my embroidery hoop, mini trash bucket, stork scissors, an absolute horde of embroidery floss and thread, and a growing tapestry. The hoop has changed over time because apparently, they can get stress fractures. Did you know you can wear out a sewing needle? I’m on needle number six, I think. I own more scissors than some kindergarten classrooms now. The dragon is always ready for the next session. The thread is knotted and the needle is threaded. If the day was a hard one, I might only sketch more of the next details. If it was a good day, I might see how many hours I can spend on the embroidery. My personal best is over ten hours in a single day. When the dragon is done, he will be an estimated 8 feet long and the full costume will involve more than 1,200 hours of work. I regret nothing!

I regularly hear other people say they could never do something like the dragon. Perhaps it is that very mindset standing in their way or they’re simply not ready to attempt their dream projects yet. I also get called crazy for attempting to hand embroider the dragon. It still stings a little each time but those same doubters have helped me to realize something. I don’t make my art for other people – I make it despite them.

For now, the embroidery beckons!