Beyoncé Turned My Secret Shame Into a Worldwide Phenomenon

I can't believe I'm sharing this.

The ONLY reason I'm talking about this now is because there is money on the line. I'm entering this story into the "Add to Cart" Challenge - Vocal editors, please stay near. If this story doesn't win or even place among the top three, I will be needing this yanked and scrubbed from the internet thank you very much.

Yeah, I'm still pretty embarrassed about the thing that dug the deepest hole into my bank account last year. While other people were spending their money bettering themselves by buying courses on Masterclass and purchasing easels to start up painting again, I was busy spending all my money on...Onlyfans!

Onlyfans is the thing I never knew I wanted, never thought I'd get hooked on, and absolutely never thought I'd spend actual real life money on...like ever! And it's all Instagram's fault...and Beyoncé's of course, but we'll get to that in a minute.

How I Discovered (It).

Instagram.

I discovered Onlyfans through Instagram. The way it happened was -- I was on my finsta - you know, THAT account that's among the other existing accounts permanently logged in on your Instagram app but you swear doesn't belong to you? For me, @youthoughtIdactuallytellyoumineright? belongs to my friend Dmitri from college who asked to borrow my phone, logged in and completely forgot to log out. Between you and me, it's the account I use to follow my favorite 'adult' influencers.

I was scrolling through sometime in November of 2017 when one of my favorite influencers, a person I really thought and still think is one of the hottest people in the world, posted a very spicy picture with the caption:

Check link in bio for the good stuff 😉

You mean THIS isn't the good stuff? There's more where this came from?

I had to check it out.

I clicked on their profile and went straight to their bio to see what has now become that very infamous linktree url.

I clicked it.

Linktree directed me to a page which had 2 links: one for Instagram from which I was just coming from, and the other for a mysterious site called Onlyfans.

What is Onlyfans? I thought to myself - of course while it was already loading.

It opened up and on the site was the header, a very tasteful but sensual picture of the influencer, their name, how much content they had available on the page, and most importantly, a PRICE.

I HAVE TO PAY? I thought to myself.

How much?

$29.99? Almost 30 United States DOLLARS?!!

I clicked right out of that page faster than you could say In This Economy? and I never looked back.

PSYCH! Of course I looked back. Almost every other day when I'd go on Instagram and scroll through, I'd see picture after picture of very tempting pictures with even more alluring captions

You know you want to see it / What you waiting for baby? / Click that link in bio

I was being haunted. Tormented. I couldn't resist.

So on January 21, 2018 and I have the receipt to show the date, I purchased my first ever Onlyfans subscription - a one-time thing I told myself.

Then Came the Pandemic

(Okay, full transparency y'all, I did subscribe to a few more before the pandemic actually hit. Not a lot. Just about 28 people)

I was subscribed to a lot more Onlyfans pages than I thought I would. Turned out there were a lot of people's pages I really wanted to check out. Don't judge me, I was already judging myself...HEAVY!

I told a couple of my friends about it and the reactions were pretty similar across the board: "Oh woooow!!!!!!!!", "You really have money to throw huhn?" (I really don't y'all!), "Can I get your password?"

Through January 2018 to March 25, 2020 -- I just did the math so I can report accurately -- I spent $296.86. Those 8.99s and 10.99s reaaaaally add up quick!

I feel the judgment. I literally feel you judging me right now as you read that number. That's why I have to repeat, Vocal editors if this doesn't win some prize at this contest, yank this post down, yank this post down QUICK!

As liberated as I was talking about and championing sex work, I still felt a real shame about actually spending my own hard-earned money on Onlyfans, not gonna lie.

It doesn't bother me anymore but at the time, I was like there ARE free adult sites, why would you spend $10 on this. Now, I allow myself moderation. I don't spend a whole lot of money on myself and if from time to time, I treat myself to a little digital enjoyment, I don't see anything wrong with that. Especially also because I'm supporting someone who is putting themselves in a very vulnerable position in front of the entire world. If we don't subscribe to or pay sex workers for their work, if we all live under this oh, but why pay when it's free umbrella, then who does that help? It certainly doesn't help me cuz I like to see new content and without the incentive of money, sex workers wouldn't work. It won't help sex workers because a lot of people who get into the already-overjudged line of sex work with all the baggage it comes with do it out of desperation for money and the need like everyone else in this world to put food on their table. Who does paying for Onlyfans hurt? Nobody. We're grown folk doing grown folk business, let's have fun!

That's what I think now but at the time, I really did feel embarrassed about it. That was of course until social media and celebrities said to us, Onlyfans? We've heard about it? It's the hot new commodity we're about to blow out the water!

Worldwide Phenomenon

The first time I saw Onlyfans referenced in pop culture was on The Late Late Show with James Corden when he and Dua Lipa sang the line:

If you're not feeling 'em, it's you, your hands, and Onlyfans.

Not long after, superstar worldwide phenomenon icon Queen Beyoncé rapped the now infamous line in Savage (Remix):

Tiktok when I dance, on that demon time, she might start an Onlyfans.

That song has been viewed over 65 Million Times on YouTube alone and completely changed - the - game for Onlyfans.

Now, having an Onlyfans subscription isn't as outrageous as it used to be. Now there are websites and forums simply dedicated to discussing and trading the best Onlyfans subscriptions on the market.

Celebrities have hopped on board. Everybody from Bella Thorne to Cardi B, Trey Songz, Blac Chyna, Tyga, Chris Brown, even DJ Khaled and Fat Joe now have Onlyfans accounts.

If you're talking about an online store that BOOMED because of the impact of celebrity culture, influencer culture, and social media, it doesn't get much bigger than Onlyfans does it?

Onlyfans has become a legitimate marketplace in a society that is still judgmental against the kind of transactions that happen on said marketplace, but don't care. If that's not power, I don't know what is.

I have added page after page to my cart and just as recently as yesterday, I added yet another one to my cart, and yes, I checked out.

From January 2018 till the time of my writing this today, do you want to know how much I have spent on Onlyfans? *drumroll please*

$1,107.49. I know!

But in my defense, this is also inclusive of tips and private message purchases. I have now subscribed to 127 pages in total, with 16 active subscriptions still going. Oh gosh!

Thank you Beyoncé, thank you Instagram influencers. This Onlyfans obsession is ALL - YOUR - FAULT! (Not gonna lie though, I absolutely love it!)

P.S: I still can't believe I actually posted this story unto my page you guys. Please tip. Every tip I get on this post goes towards funding sex workers and sex workers' rights.