40K according to Al - Part 2

The Grimdark future of the 41st Millennium may be a war zone but there is enough ridiculousness that you can make it light of it. Please note I will be talking about major factions and not diving too deep, this geek list would go on forever if I did all the Space Marine Chapters, Chaos Warbands etc. If you haven't read Part 1, that's ok you can read it later. In this article we will be looking at the forces of Chaos.

Chaos

Billed as the "Villains" of 40K, the forces of Chaos are what happens when the kids are left home alone for too long. The forces of Chaos whether it be daemon, space marine, or cultist, will often be aligned with a particular god of the warp. These gods are not inherently evil as they are the literal personifications of mortal desires and formed from purely psychic energies. They do however have corrupting influences, much like a Conservative party function, and their followers will often embody this corruption whether by choice or not. There are 4 main gods within the warp that fall under the banner of Chaos, however it is worth noting that Gork & Mork, the Tyranid Hive Mind, and the Emperor are technically Warp Gods but they do not fall under the Chaos banner.

Note

I’m including the Chaos Gods as an Honourable Mention

Khorne

Blood for the Blood God! Skulls for the Skull Throne! Milk for the Khorne Flakes!

Khorne is perhaps the oldest of the Chaos Gods and is the personification of war, bloodshed, rage, and brass rubbing. Khorne is simple; as long as the blood flows thick and fast, he doesn't care who it flows from and the circumstances that cause it to flow in the first place. From the throne of Skulls in his Brass Citadel, Khorne can see all the way to a range of volcanoes known as Khorne's Rage, and the Daemon Forges within (Daemon operated forged, not forges making daemons). Within Khorne's domain, Khorne can view numerous Blood Pits, Rivers of Blood which come together in a Kilometres high waterfall which fall into the aptly named Lake of Slaughter (known for killing anyone willing to wander too close to the blood-soaked shores). A popular past-time of Khorne, amidst the brass rubbing and playing the banjo, is watching the never-ending story war between Tuska Daemon-Killa and Khorne's Elite Bloodletter Generals.

Known Aliases

• Blood God
• Brass Lord
• Lord of Murder
• Lord of Skulls
• Kharneth
• Hunter of Souls
• Lord of Rage
• Lord of Blood
• The Hound of the Bloodskervilles
• Kjorn Ulvaeus of the popular Empyrean pop group EHHE

Portfolio

1. War
2. Hatred/Wrath/Rage
3. Murder
4. Blood
5. Strength
6. Courage
7. Martial Honour
8. Brass & Bronze Fabrication
9. Baltimore Knife & Sword
10. Las Vegas Raiders
11. Endeavour Group Holdings
12. WWE
13. Northern Rock
14. Golden State Warriors
15. Toronto Raptors
16. LA Chargers
17. Minnesota Vikings
18. Buffalo Sabres

Sacred Number

8, because you know the 8 Pointed Star, 8 Fold Path, Khorne is simple like that

Minions

• Blood Thirster (Big bugger with wings and a massive axe and a whip that often comes with a hammer at the end of it)
• Daemon Prince of Khorne (Usually just a bigger bugger than the Bloodthirster, sometimes just a mutated servant of the Blood God)
• Bloodletter (And you thought Royal Mail was bad)
• Flesh Hounds (Cerberus and friends)
• Juggernaut (The Steeds of Khorne, helmet sold separately)
• Herald of Khorne

”Best Pal”

Slaanesh, Khorne likes Fast & Furious films, Slaanesh likes torturing people with Marathons of Chess Games

Enslaved Primarch

Angron - Mr Irony (left the slave life to end up being a slave)

Champion

Khârn Noonien Singh the Betrayer AKA Sergeant Slaphappy, Admiral Axebar, Lord Lumberjack

Nurgle

Buboes, phlegm, blood and guts! Boils, bogeys, rot and pus! Blisters, fevers, weeping sores! From your wounds the fester pours.

Nurgle is the Chaos god of Death, Decay, Gardening and bad body odour. Nurgle is the kind of god that loves everyone, he loves them so much that he stops them from suffering from pain as long as they agree to contracting space plague/cancer/covid/aids. Nurgle followers will often end up as nothing more than a shambling meat sack of morbidity. Of course Nurgle’s greatest recruitment method is to infect people, securing more followers. Of course Nurgle gifts his followers with near superhuman endurance.

From his home in the Blighted Mansion of Misery and Mirth, Nurgle spends his days stirring his cauldron from which he creates his many plagues, diseases, and other forms of pestilence. When not cooking up a more virulent strain of chickenpox, Nurgle likes spending his time in his garden tending to his roses, tulips, daffodils. Or he would if his garden was not home to every form of pox, virus, and disease throughout the galaxy. He often strolls past the Death Beds, a flower bed filled with those who dare to enter Nurgle’s realm, on his way to test his new creation in his personal Poxyards. When not tending to his posies with Horticulous Slimux, his gardener, he likes testing out his newest creations on the Eldar Goddess, Isha, knowing full well she will cure herself of the blight. Nurgle does this to see how his creations affect organic beings but unbeknownst to Nurgle, Isha spreads the knowledge of how to cure the pox to the mortals that are afflicted.

Known Aliases

• Plague Lord
• Plague God
• Plaguefather
• Lord of Decay
• Lord of Pestilence
• Fly Lord
• Great Corruptor
• Grandfather Nurgle
• Master of Plague and Pestilence
• Admiral Ailments
• Major General Malady
• Doctor Who Wants Some Pox
• Nurgle Fältskog
• Emperor Entropy

Portfolio

1. Disease
2. Decay
3. Despair
4. Destruction
5. Death
6. Rebirth
7. Pfizer
8. United Utilities
9. Johnson & Johnson
10. GlaxoSmithKline
11. Detroit Pistons
12. Cleveland Browns
13. Edmonton Oilers
14. Ottawa Senators
15. Milwaukee Brewers

Sacred Number

7

Minions

• Great Unclean Ones
• Plaguebearer
• Nurglings
• Rot Fly
• Battle Fly
• Plague Toad
• Plague Drone
• Pox Rider
• Beast of Nurgle
• Herald of Nurgle

"Best Pal"

Tzeentch, he’s always leaving his change in Nurgle’s couch

Enslaved Primarch

Mortarion, not Nurgle’s first choice but he’ll do for now

Champion

Calas “Typhus” Typhon, AKA the Lord of the Flies, AKA Seth Brundle

Tzeentch

Do not ask which creature screams in the night. Do not question who waits for you in the shadow. It is my cry that wakes you in the night, and my body that crouches in the shadow. I am Tzeentch and you are the puppet that dances to my tune.

Tzeentch is the God of Schemes, Change, Magic, Politicians, Librarians, Bookstores, and Bad Decisions. Tzeentch is a master of planning and has plans within plans within plans. Play chess with Tzeentch and he’ll have you in checkmate before you make your first move. Tzeentch likes nothing more than plot and scheme, and when he’s not plotting and scheming; Tzeentch tours the Vegas magic circuit stunning all with his repertoire of magic and illusions, gaining valuable followers. Many of his followers want Tzeentch to host his own TV show, but he prefers leaving that to his minions as he’s often too busy manipulating events and teaching Kasparov that you can win chess with only a pawn and a king. Tzeentch is a big fan of Grand Designs and spends his spare time designing and redesigning his realm. With a love of blue, gold, and the rainbow; many things that you see in Tzeentch’s realm will be one colour but look a completely different colour. When not rearranging Khorne’s furniture when he’s not looking, Tzeentch likes to curl up on his favourite sofa in the 9th Library and read the works of his favourite authors such as Agatha Christie’s ‘Murder on the Martian Express’ and Michael Crichton’s ‘The Ork Train Robbery.’

Known Aliases

• Changer of Ways
• Lord of Change
• Lord of Sorcery
• Architect of Fate
• Great Conspirator
• Great Deceiver
• Master of Mutation
• Weaver of Destinies
• Father of Lies and Deception
• Great Eagle
• Raven God
• Tchar
• Shunch
• Chen
• Commodore Change
• Doctor Destiny
• Mr Magic
• Alpharius
• Tzee-Ntch Lynstad

Portfolio

1. Change
2. Evolution
3. Mutation
4. Intrigue
5. Ambition
6. Knowledge
7. Sorcery
8. Destiny
9. Lies
10. Trickery
11. The Magic Circle
12. Magic Madhouse
13. Wizards of the Coast
14. Magic Radio
15. Orlando Magic
16. Magic Software Enterprises
17. Bungie Inc
18. Washington Wizards

Sacred Number

9

Minions

• Lord of Change
• Daemon Prince of Tzeentch
• Horror of Tzeentch
• Flamer of Tzeentch
• Screamer
• Herald of Tzeentch
• The Scintillating Legions

”Best Pal”

Nurgle

Enslaved Primarch

Paul Daniels AKA Magnus the Red(faced)

Champion

Azhek Ahriman Magician Impossible

Slaanesh

Embrace your hunger, your lust, your desire. The universe is ours for the taking.

Slaanesh is the the God of Excess, Ecstasy, Pleasure, Sex, Drugs, and Rock & Roll. Boundless are the desires of this dark god and every act of excess feeds Slaanesh. The youngest of the Chaos Gods being birthed by the fall of the Aeldari (too much of something can be a bad thing). Which also resulted in the creation of the Eye of Terror; it’s worth remembering the Warp/Empyrean/Psychic Realm is beyond the laws of physics, you can go in for 5 minutes and come out either in the past of far in the future. Unlike the other Warp Gods; Slaanesh doesn’t try to keep others from invading their realm, they openly embrace any who walk into their domain. From their place in the Palace of Pleasure, Slaanesh can see such delights as the Grove of the Dark Maiden, the Causeway of Secrets, the Slaanesh Marches, the Marcher Fortress, and the popular Six Circles of Seduction. The Six Circles of Seduction are the direct path to Slaanesh’s Palace; each representing various Excesses (Riches, Sustenance, Bodily Delights, Adoration, Achievement, Repose) and in true GW fashion are inspired by the 7 Circles of Hell from Dante’s Inferno. If a person; be they human, space marine, space elf etc, manages to make their way through Temptation Turnpike, they will find themselves in front of Slaanesh’s Palace, and will be greeted by no daemonic army but by the majesty of Slaanesh’s perfection. Music so perfect it makes your ears bleed fills the air along with scents of divine perfection, of course no visit to Slaanesh’s palace is complete without meeting the Prince of Pleasure themselves. It is said that Slaanesh appears as the visitor’s idea of the perfect mate (like Camille in the Red Dwarf episode “Camille”), upon greeting their visitor Slaanesh enraptures them with their smile. The palace is decorated with statues and perfectly formed trees, it is said the statues are what remains of visitors to the palace of pleasure. When not living a life of excess and encouraging others to do the same, Slaanesh enjoys baking and composing new pieces of music

Known Aliases

• Dark Prince
• Prince of Pleasure
• Lord of Excess
• Perfect Prince
• Prince of Chaos
• Sai'lanthresh ("She Who Thirsts")
• Annabelle Chong
• Marlyn Manson
• Ru Paul
• Penelope Pitstop
• Jessica Rabbit
• Admiral Androgynous
• Hakim Hedonism
• Lord Commander Lust

Portfolio

1. Pleasure
2. Passion
3. Excess
4. Hedonism
5. Decadence
6. Pain
7. Perfection
8. Ann Summers
9. Sizzler
10. Chuck-A-Rama
11. Numerous Drug Cartels
12. Sony Music
13. Playboy
14. Miami Heat
15. Phoenix Suns
16. Green Bay Packers
17. New Jersey Devils
18. Dallas Stars
19. Toronto Blue Jays
20. Minnesota Twins

Sacred Number

6, because it sounds like…

Minions

• Keeper of Secrets
• Daemon Prince
• Daemonette
• Fiend of Slaanesh
• Steed of Slaanesh
• Lady of the Voids
• Ruination of Imperfect Beauty
• Herald of Slaanesh

”Best Pal”

Khorne, Slaanesh loves to torture people slowly, feeding off their suffering, whereas Khorne likes it hard ‘n fast

Enslaved Primarch

Fulgrim the Phonecian AKA Solid Snake AKA Jake “The Snake” Roberts, Mr Cobra Kai

Champion

Lucius the Eternal AKA Scarface AKA Gene Simmons AKA The Thing That Should Not Be

Al's Opinion

The Chaos gods may just be the personification of the energies given off by us lowly mortals; doesn't mean they get absolved of their sins. Like a lot of religions, their followers have taken things to the extremes. It could be said that the followers of Chaos are the personification of the evils of religion, only a shade worse than the Imperial Ecclesiarchy, Inquisition, and the Catholic Church.

It's a mixed bag on the tabletop. From a cost point of view it depends on which side of Chaos you want to run. An all Daemon army is going to hit your bank account like the HOA on your whimsical garden gnomes. A Chaos/Black Legion army is fine but boring. Faction specific armies do pretty well on the tabletop but can be expensive if you're adding all the extras. With the new Red Corsairs army out, expect prices to fluctuate. Can't wait to see the 40K Daemon Perturabo; he and Vashtorr the Arkifane are the only two reasons I want to start a Chaos Army.

If you play Chaos that's fine, just don't be one of those "I only play Chaos because they're the underdog" or "I like to play something different." You want to be an underdog? Play Orks. Want to be different? Run a Vehicle only Guard army or run an Exodite army.

If This Were A Book It Would Be: Where's Wally? Have you seen some of the Where's Wally books? You would need 6 eyes that can see different spectrums to make sense of some of them

If This Were A TV Show It Would Be: Somewhere between Funhouse and Jerry Springer

If This Were A Movie It Would Be: The Exorcist. Problematic, gory, and a lot of people died as a result.

If this were a Country it would be: Singapore, billed as the the world’s most religiously diverse country

Chaos Knights

The Imperium had space marines, guard regiments, AdMech and Knights. Chaos has chaos space marines, cultists, Dark Mechanicum, and you guessed it, Chaos Knights. The Questor Traitoris is made up of all the Knight houses that either lost faith in the Imperium, shanghai’d by traitors, or coerced by the gods of chaos.

Whereas the Imperium has the Knightly Houses, the Questor Mechanicus, and Freeblades. Chaos Knights come in the form of

1. Renegade Knights
2. Infernal Houses (allied to the Dark Mechanicum)
3. Dreadblades (Chaos Freeblades)

Of course like most things in the arsenal of Chaos, they have a fetish for spikes, skin, and skulls. Many Chaos Knights are now little that feral beasts that their pilots hate having to bind with. Imagine having the mental and corrupted machine spirit to contend with but also the many ghosts of the Knight's previous pilots. Imagine that scene from Mulan where the ancestors argue about Mulan after being roused from their eternal slumber by Mushu, now imagine they are all disappointed in Mulan and take their frustrations out on Mushu. That's Chaos Knights on a good day.

Known Chaos Knights

House Ærthegn - One of the only Knightly houses to be employed in the imperium by the writ of Horus Lupercal. As a result of backing the wrong horse during the Heresy, they’ve ended up in the Eye of Terror where they regale themselves with tales of the “good old days.”

House Arcanus - House Arcanus is a knightly house allied to the god Tzeentch (surprise surprise) and was part of the force that invaded the Stygius Sector.

House Atrax - House Atrax was formed during the Age of Strife and rediscovered by the Mechanicum of the Cyclothrathe Forge World. After being press ganged into service, they would end up throwing their lot in with the traitors. Now they live out their meagre existence in the Eye of Terror.

House Caesarean - Every faction needs a unit capable of helping expectant mothers deliver babies. They took part in the assault of Tallarn with Legio Krytos.

House Chromatic - This house makes you think that the house runs around in chrome plated war suits, but alas no, their only claim to fame so far is taking part in the assault on the Stygius sector.

House Devine - House Devine was one of the Knight Houses to fall to Chaos, if you haven’t already guessed it, they had thrown their lot in with Slaanesh, attacking their opponents with whips, chains, intense sound, and KY Jelly. In a drug fuelled rage, House Devine attacked the world of Moloch and managed to keep the Imperium from stopping Horus from marching on Terra, but in the end House Devine found themselves being turned into a rainbow coloured smear by Houses Terryn, Cadmus, and Borgias.

House Drakon - House Drakon was one of those houses that gets into fads long after it’s been left behind. Imagine someone discovering pogs for the first time when everyone else is on fidget spinners. House Drakon decided to join the Ruinous Powers in M37, about 6000 years late, by allying with the Apostles of the Blind King. Despite a small setback, and by small setback I mean the Blind Kings forces were all but wiped out, House Drakon managed to escape. Their whereabouts are unknown

House Drear - This dreary little known house joined the forces of Nurgle with their only claim to fame being the sacking of Ultramar during the Plague Wars

House Felcarn - This is another of the little known “Notable” houses. The funny thing about House Felcarn is that one solitary member remained loyal to the Imperium; and after a lengthy game of Cat & Mouse with the Inquisition, became a freeblade known as ‘The Penitent Blade’ and spends their time eradicating Chaos Cults on their home world.

House Gotrith - Little is know about these traitors other than they supported Legio Mortis during the Battle of Bet-Garmon

House Herpetrax - Other than sounding like the 40K equivalent of an STD, House Herpetrax has the honour of being an Iconoclast house, meaning they have never once served the Imperium. They are true chaos followers

House Hyboras - Another House that flipped the bird at the Imperium and helped out in the Battle of Beta-Garmon

House Hydrax - The house’s most well known act of treason is joining House Medusos in the Battle of Adrastopol

House Ioeden - House Ioeden used to serve the Mechanicum but decided that joining Horus’ side was more fun. Another of the Houses that fought at the Battle of Beta-Garmon

House Ju’ll - This house is so little known that the Inquisition aren’t sure they exist. They are only known for supporting Legio Mortis

House Korvax - A splinter of House Raven allied to the Dark Mechanicum In service to Be’Lakor. From their misty homeworld, Korvosi, they spread corruption and pamphlets about the ruinous powers

House Khomentis - Another infernal house allied to the Dark Mechanicum, their most notable actions are the times when their nobles seek out daemons in the hope of being possessed.

House Khymere - A somewhat lesser known Iconoclast house with probably the worst luck. The House was a staunch loyalist house attacked their homeworld during the Indomitus Crusade claiming their house had been attacking Imperial Worlds. The house began being corrupted by Chaos during the opening of the Great Rift; instead of fighting back against Imperial forces they instead ran into the Warp. Due to Warp fudgery; they ended up in their own past when they emerged from the Warp and as a result they ended up causing the circumstances which led to them being attacked by Imperial forces. Talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy

House Kepsydra - Another House that took part in the Battle of Beta-Garmon (as if there weren’t enough of them)

House Lucaris - ‘House of the Serpent’ and the ‘Fanged Knights’ are just two of the names associated with House Lucaris. An iconoclast house that has a reputation for barbarism. Wherever they go they leave a bloody trail behind them.

House Makabius - A house that supported Mortarion during the Horus Heresy and one that ended up running into the Eye of Terror when everything went pear shaped

House Mandrakor - With a name like that it’s now wonder they went renegade. The whole name screams villain. They are one of the few houses that hasn’t fallen to Chaos; as a result of the opening of the Cicatrix Maledictum, House Mandrakor believed Old Night was once again upon them. They decided to reject all communicae from the Imperium and decided that they would join forces with pirates and other scum & villainy from the port of Mos Eisley, they guard the Nachmund Gauntlet, bringing anyone brave enough to run it down. However, only King Kaligius from the world of Dharrovar and his most loyal supporters turned renegade. Everyone else remained loyal, leading to a civil war within the house

House Morbidia - Initially allied to the Martian Priesthood and had rivalries with House Zavora and the Knights of Tiranis. Unfortunately for House Morbidia, Tiranis and Zavora would grow in esteem whilst Morbidia would fall into disgrace. This led them to the open and welcoming arms of Chaos. Their fate since is unknown

House Mordred - If you know anything about Arthurian Folklore you will no doubt know the name Mordred. House Mordred started of as a Questor Mechanicus house but has long since decided to become part of the traitor forces. So far their only known record of activity is the Battle of Beta-Garmon.

House Medusos - Another lesser known House that took part in the assault on Adrastopol

House Mykorphas - This fallen house serves the Plague God Nurgle; the leaders of this house have watched their Knight Despoilers develop a coat of living rust

House Niagma - Another House that took part in the Battle of Beta-Garmon

House Oroborn - See above

House Perdaxia - A little known house that helped the mad Archmagos Inar Satarael, helped invade the world of Paramar V and took part in the battle of Beta-Garmon

House Rajha - Copy & Paste from House Perdaxia

House Senica - This house that sounds an awful lot like a laxative is best known for supporting the traitorous Legio Mortis

House Slughorn - As you can expect by this bargain basement Hogwarts house’s name; they are allied to Papa Potion himself, Nurgle. Despite the Harry Potteresque name, their only notable action was taking part in the Plague Wars

House Thryn - This house hails from a world where the only law is the ‘Law of the Blade.’ What will happen to them when someone introduces the ‘Law of the Gun’ is anyone’s guess

House Turbidos - You’d expect this house to have a speed motif but no, see Battle of Beta-Garmon for more information

House Vextrix - This house is unavailable at this time, please try again later. For more information see www.battleofbetagarmon.net

House Vorran - No discernible actions other than being the home to Sir Gedrim Mahj, pilot of the Sorrowsworn

House Vrachul - An infernal house sworn to help the Dark Mechanicum; and sworn to support Iron Warriors Warpsmith Etrogar in invading the Talledus System

House Vyridion - House Vyridion is a tale of treachery and redemption. Having initially sided with Horus, this house soon realised their folly. After returning to the Emperor’s light with their tail between their legs; the Emperor had then assigned to fending off daemons in the webway, after Magnus’ mistake. Since then, no one has seen them and no one probably will given the Imperium’s kill on site policy

House Xerathon - Open your history textbooks to the Battle of Beta-Garmon and submit a 500 word essay by next week

House Wyvorn - This notable Knight House from Adrastopol was declared Reductum Hereticum Extremis after the Donatus Uprising. Wyvorn are now merely a footnote in the annuals of imperial texts. Now they are only mentioned in the form of “Gone the way of Wyvorn.”

Rusthounds - This renegade house once were members of House Krast, now they serve the Plague God.

If This Were A Book It Would Be: Ulysses by James Joyce. Just as Chaos Knights are darker facsimiles of Imperial Knights, Ulysses is a darker facsimile of Homer’s Odyssey.

If This Were A TV Show It Would Be: Shameless US, an edgier and over exaggerated version of the original

If This Were A Movie It Would Be: Alien, the plot is much the same as The Terror from Outer Space but a lot darker.

If this were a Country it would be: France. One of history’s most evil knights, Charles of Navarre, came from France

Al’s Opinion

Despite the cost of your average knight, this is still one of the cheaper armies as 500 point armies are literally one model. The biggest problem with chaos knights is that up until recently, you had to kitbash an Imperial knight. Still, if you want to play something that stands out then chaos knights may be the army for you, especially with weapons like the Daemonbreath Thermal Cannon which boasts S9 AP-4 D6+2 damage, and the Reaper Chainsword, with S12 AP-4 D6 damage stats, it does 3 attacks if you sweep it instead of striking but the stats are weaker.

Chaos Space Marines

The Imperium has its Space Marines, the Ruinous Powers have their Chaos Space Marines. What’s the difference between the two? Gifts from the gods aside, the main difference is that Chaos Space Marines are edgier versions of their Space Marine cousons and love adorning their armour with spikes, skulls, skin, and patches of heavy metal bands they've never heard of never mind listened to.

Where as Space Marines are divided into Chapters, thanks to Roboute Guilliman and his Codex Astartes, Chaos Space Marines are broken down into Warbands. This is largely down to the fact they have regressed into degenerative facsimiles of their Imperial counterparts and not so much down to any reforms. These Warbands can vary in number; from a dozen or so, to thousands.

Striking out from the Eye of Terror or from their ships, each of these warbands has their own Modus Operandi and does not care for what others are doing, unless their interests align.

Well Known Warbands

Original 20 Legions

It had to start somewhere. The Horus Heresy did a lot for the lore and GW's wallet.

Emperor’s Children - The Third Legion, The Emperors of Excess, The Designer Degenerates.

These Hedonistic Partyboys have a flair for assaulting their enemies with weapons such as the Blastmaster, Doom Siren, and Sonic Blaster, all of which sound like they were ripped from a B-Movie. They honestly sound like the kind of weapons Ming the Merciless attacks Flash Gordon with. If you thought it ended there, you'd be wrong. Their bolters are mounted on electric guitars. When they open up with Master of Puppets expect nothing but death.

GW has released a new line of models for the 3rd and they look the business, if you are into drug-fuelled degenerates with a fetish for self-flagellation. The Emperor's Children are also master interior decorators; having trained in the Drukhari School of Interior Design, and use human skin and bones in all their decorating, even whilst the subject is still alive.

Notable Characters

Lucius the Eternal - The Soul-thief, the Blade of Aeons, the Highlander, Roronoro Zero, Captain Complexion, Scarface, He Who Must Not Be Slain. Lucius was once the proud captain of the 13th Company, now he is a walking advertisement for the power of Brown-nosing. His skill with a blade was so great that he was often hired as a spokesman for Leon Paul and Allstar Uhlmann. Despite his superlative sword skills, Lucius has known defeat (at the end of the de legs) which has prompted him to ritually scarring his face in search of perfection. He has been bested by Nykona Sharrowkyn, twice, and even by fellow legionaries. After his defeat at the hands of Lord Commander Cyrius, Slaanesh intervened and over a span of a few weeks Cyrius slowly transformed into Lucius. As Slaanesh's Champion; any time Lucius dies in combat, should they take just the slightest bit of joy in defeating Lucius, they are slowly and painfully transformed into Lucius with their soul being bound to his armour. This qualifies Lucius as the worst swordsman in 40K given he no longer has the skills to avoid his own death.

Fabius Bile - The Spider, the Manflayer, Dr. Crippens, Grimdark Frankenstein, Fabulous Bill. There is no way to say it other than this, Fabius is a [insert expletive] genius. Fabius gets a lot of hate from the community and it's hard to see why. He is one of only three people in the galaxy that know how to modify an Astartes geneseed. Bile is to Chaos as Cawl is to the Imperium. The fun thing about Bile is that he is a clone. Bile, sometime known as Clonelord, is continually cloning himself as he is one of the last few OG Emperor's Children who still suffers from an illness known as The Blight. Bile has performed all kinds of wonders. He created the Terata, Space Marines on Uber-steroids. He cloned Horus Lupercal, subsequently destroyed by Abaddon. He also created a perfect clone of Fulgrim, which he was planning to use to reunite the Emperor's Children but feared that the clone would just follow the path of the now Chaos Corrupted Fulgrim, traded him to Trazyn the Infinite for some EC geneseed and Pokemon cards.

Lord Commander Eidolon - Eidolon was the first of the Emperor's Children to rise to the ranks of Company Captain and became an icon for all other legionaries to aspire to. In his prime before he fell into the hedonists lifestyle, he was a well known spokesperson for Loreal and Maybelline. During the battle of Istvaan Extremis, Eidolon had undergone an elective surgery at the hands of Fabulous Bill which he unleashed upon an enemy known as the Warsinger. The psycho-sonic implant he had implanted transformed him into the first Noise Marine. Eidolon would later be beheaded by Fulgrim for questioning him about his decision to attack a Forge World as well as for stealing Fulgrim's special shampoo. He would later be revived by Fabius and return to service and go on to end up leading his own ragtag band of weirdos. What they don't tell you in the lore is that Eidolon is a massive, and I mean massive, MC Hammer fan. His weapon of choice is a Master Crafted thunder Hammer.

Saul Tarvitz - The legend of Saul Goodman Tarvitz is a tale of honour, betrayal, and woe. Saul was your average Mr Nice Guy as everyone he met he made friends with, including Lucius. During Horus' uprising, Saul was sent to fortify Istvaan 3 along with other loyal legionaries. Saul's tale ends here with the Istvaan 3 atrocity when traitor forces fell up the world to slay their loyal brethren. Not one for standing out, content to be a Rank & File officer but still managed to be an honourable and skilled warrior.

Ancient Rylanor - The Emperor's Children's Ancient of Rites is a walking colossus of a Venerable Dreadnought. Honourable and loyal to a fault. Rylanor like Saul would be betrayed upon Istvaan 3. However he would not be defeated. Surviving Istvaan, Rylanor managed to summon the Daemon Primarch Fulgrim into the catacombs below Istvaan where he would die etching his name upon the Daemon's soul.

Iron Warriors - The 4th Legion, the 40K equivalent of Microsoft’s Internet Explorer, the Barons of Boring, the Often Overlooked, Petulant Pete and the Power Hammers.

The Iron Warriors are one of the greatest factions in the lore, but they’re so overlooked and underrated it’s not funny. They are master engineers who can level a mountain and build a mighty fortress in its stead using the very materials of said mountain. They are led by Perturabo, a walking encyclopaedia, a man who knows pretty much everything about anything. As well as being burdened with always seeing the Eye of Terror no matter where he is. Just ask him a question and he’ll not only give you an answer but also an overview how he could’ve done it better. He is a genius of the highest calibre and master artisan. He has designed great pieces of architecture and artistry. He made an amphitheatre so amazing that the people in the top row could hear the performers just as well as the front row. He built the theatre for the Council of Nikea. His ascension to daemonhood was for two reasons, he wanted to master the immaterium and, thanks to Fulgrim, he was dying. The Iron Warriors themselves are not only hardy warriors and excellent engineers, but they have some of the most unique individuals in the game. People such as Soltarn Vull Braun who knows everything there is to know about earth/soil/other synonym for dirt.

The Iron Warrios are currently getting a glow up ahead of 11th Ed and I can't wait to see the new Perturabo model.

Notable Characters

Kydomor Forrix - AKA The Breaker AKA The Iron Pancake. Warsmith and 1st Captain of the 1st Grand Battalion. A snob of highborn blood, Forrix was one of Perturabo's most trusted Warsmiths and made up one third of the prestigious Trident. Forrix would meet his end during the Second Siege of Hydra Cordatus at the wrong end of a Warhound Titan. He was marked for death the moment he voiced his laments regarding the Long War against the Imperium.

Barban Falk - Warsmith of the 235th Grand Battalion and part of Pertie's inner circle, the Trident. After the battle of Amon ny-shak Kaelis, Falk had become bonded to a daemon that allowed him to manage the Iron Warrior forces upon the Elder Crone world. After the battle he rebranded his image and dropped all but one word from his name and rank "Warsmith." As the Warsmith he would go onto to win Britain's Got Talent, Masterchef, and would eventually become a Chaos Lord. During the 13th Black Crusade, Falk would assign his forces to the command of his chief brown-noser, Honsou, who would take them to war whilst he ascended to the lofty levels of Daemon Prince. Now he spends his time watching reruns of Yuri on Ice and making sponge puddings.

Honsou - Honsou can only be described as a [insert expletive here.] His career with the Iron Warriors, having been traded to them from Bolton Wanderers, would see him be elevated to the Rank of Warsmith, despite being a "half-breed." He would go on to do despicable things such as constructing the Daemonculaba (Warning: DO NOT GOOGLE), he killed the Dreadnought Warsmith Berrossus, and would take the mantle of "The Warsmith" when his boss Falk got promoted to the Chaos Premier League.

Kroger - Kroger is described as being a plain speaker, which is Iron Warriors speak for stupid. He would find himself as a Warsmith after the first Siege of Hydra Cordatus when he would be the first warrior to breach the walls of the Cadmean Citadel, this of course came at the expense of his CO Warsmith Harker being demoted for being a coward and sacrificing men without care. Kroger would go onto being a worshipper of the Blood God, Khorne, and would meet his end at the hand of his own daemon empowered armour (The armour had bonded to his slave and decided there was only one way to leave it's former owner).

Soltarn Vull Braun - The Stonewrought. It is often said that Vull Braun wasn't born to human parents but popped out of the ground one day near the city of Lochos. If you've ever seen the SpongeBob episode where he learns art from Squidward; that's Soltarn Vull Braun. He embraces the ground, he sniffs the ground, he licks the ground, he washes the ground, he dates the ground, he has to be the ground! He would take to the field with an entrenching tool as his weapon of choice and rumour is he traded a shiny Charizard card to a Kriegsman for it. A warsmith of the 42nd Grand Battalion would be eclipsed by the Trident but there would be no Warsmith in the Legion who didn't seek his advice when the laid siege to a planet.

Toramino - The master of the Stor-bezashk, the Iron Warriors artillery battalion. He would declare war against Honsou after the Iron Cage incident because Honsou reneged on their deal regarding Imperial Fists gene-seed, he also stole Toramino's Pop Tarts. Despite his declaration, Toramino would skulk away when Berrossus was killed by Honsou and his casual lover Onyx.

Night Lords - The 8th Legion. The guys who thought Face Off was an instructional video.

You should pity the poor fool that is visited upon by the Night Lords. Even before the Horus Heresy the Night Lords were known for terror tactics, scaring worlds into compliance through any means necessary. They once captured a planet's ship and used it to enter the atmosphere only to unleash company after company of Astartes to break the enemy's morale.

The Night Lords are also master interior decorators; having trained in the Drukhari School of Interior Design, and use human skin and bones in all their decorating. The Night Lords have one of the coolest names for an elite Terminator Company, The Atramentar, and look rather dashing in their midnight blue armour. Konrad Curze got the short end of the stick, like Sanguinius, he could see the future and saw a vision of his own death. He managed to achieve his vindication when an assassin by the name of M’Shen turned his head into a frat boy’s snack bowl.

Notable Characters

Jago Sevatarion - The Prince of Crows, the Condemned, or just Sevatar. Captain of the Atrementar, Sevatar would have a short and bloodied career that would see him fall during the siege of Terra. His skill as a warrior was known throughout the Imperium, being compared to such warriors as Eidolon, Raldoron, and Corswain. He is best known for coining the phrases "Death to the False Emperor" and "Here's Johnny." When not busy being dead; Sevatar can be seen playing the panpipes at his local jazz bar or indulging in his needlepoint hobby.

Vandred Anrathi - The Exalted, Captain Battleships. Vandred was not your average Night Lord. Where most of his brothers were content to run around with capes of human skin, crying out "I am the Night" whilst hiding in the shadows, Vandred was orchestrating a void war battle. Vandred at some point in his career as a master of 'World of Warships' became possessed by a daemon of Tzeentch known as 'the Exalted.' This turbocharged Vandred's already impressive void war skills to an insane degree. He was soon seen Tokyo Drifting his vessel to ensure victory in future void wars. Vandred had some semblance of honour; wasn't contended with how the Black Legion and Abaddon were using his troops so he packed his toys away and went home. Eventually he would die from allowing the daemon to take full control of him, as he knew it would burn away all flesh and the daemon would be banished back to the warp. Vandred's armour now spends its time playing the bass guitar in a local pizzeria.

Talos Valcoran - The Soul Hunter AKA The Prophet AKA Private PTSD. Talos was one of the Night Lords' Apothecaries and would go onto great things at the tail end of the Horus Heresy. The Callidus Assassin M'Shen would turn the Night Haunter's skull into a bowling ball which would lead Talos to turn the assassin's skin into a patchwork quilt. Having slain M'Shen, Talos would go onto tell Abaddon where he could stick his Talon of Horus. He would also begin having prophetic seizures having inherited his Primarch's power of divination. Talos would meet his end trying to stop the Phoenix Lord of the Howling Banshees, Jain Zar, from stealing a rare collection of Playboys found on Tsagualsa. However, Talos lives on, or at least his gene-seed does in the form of Decimus.

World Eaters - The 12th Legion, Do you feel the power of the Gladiators. Admiral Axe and his Chop Shop, Angry Ron and the Butcher Boys, The Bloodborne.

Bloodthirsty maniacs who run screaming at the enemy, caring not for whether they reach them. These Barons of Bloodshed are constantly driven mad by the butchers nails that were surgically implanted in their brains as a means to become closer to their deranged daddy; most of them are no better than snarling beasts swinging chainswords and chainaxes. The nails and their worship of Khorne have turned the former War Hounds into a walking lawn mower. Wherever the eaters of worlds end up you can be guaranteed there will be blood as the only thing that keeps the pain away is eviscerating someone who stands in your way.

With the new World Eaters release, GW have refreshed the whole line, Angron looks the biz. On the tabletop, the eaters of worlds will spend a couple of turns on their Invul Saves until they get in melee range where they can have 4 attacks with their Khornate Eviscerators with strength 8, AP-4, Damage 2. Tip - Do as much ranged damage as possible

Notable Characters

Ibram Ghreer - Known as Mister Unlucky. Greer was commander of the War Hounds before they discovered their Primarch. Truth be told he was pretty bad at his job but his men followed him any way as they are genetically engineered to do so. When they found Angron and he's taken up residence in the bowels of the Conqueror, Ghreer's lack of luck led him to be ripped apart by Angron.

Khârn - The Betrayer, the Butcher of Bakersfield, Judge Dredd. Khârn was the World Eaters' First Captain and the first successful recipient of the Butcher's Nails. This act alone was sufficient to stop Angron sulking in the dark and get him back on the battlefield spilling the blood of the enemy. During the Siege of Terra, Khârn would run afoul of the Imperial Fists First Captain Sigismund. The future founder of the Black Templars sent many a traitor packing, including Khârn, and he did it without resorting to drugs gifts from the gods. Since being resurrected by someone spilling blood on him like it's Gatorade at a football match, Khârn has carved out a name for himself both literally and figuratively. It is said his pile of skulls is second only to khorne himself. When not bothering anything that moves, Khârn can be spotted frequenting his local Opera House. Word is he has a particular fondness for 'The Mikado'

Death Guard - The 14th Legion. Bubonic Bob and the Virulents, The Sultans of Stink, the Princes of Plague, the Dukes of HazzardDisease.

They say slow and steady wins the race, the Death Guard take it literally. They may be slow but they can take a hit. This is all thanks to Grandpa Nurgle and his varied versatile virulent vendibles. Of course this durability comes at a price, their not particularly pleasant to be around, I mean can you imagine the smell. If they aren’t slowly hacking and slashing at you with their scythes, they come at you with Plague Spewers, Blight Launchers, Great Plague Cleaver and Bubotic Axes. Like many weapons in the Chaos Arsenal, the Great Plague Cleaver is a strength 8, AP-3, D6 Damage weapon; meaning you don’t want the great unwashed getting within melee range. Of course the Death Guard have all kinds of ways to make you take wounds such as Sigil of Decay, Icon of Despair plus whatever plague they bring to the table. Mortarion looks sic(k)

Notable Characters

Calus "Typhus" Typhon - The Lord of the Flies. Typhon was worshipping Nurgle before it was cool. When Mortarion executed his navigators during the Horus Heresy; Typhus stepped in and offered up his "hidden" psyker skills to help navigate the Warp. Typhus ended up taking the Death Guard to meet Papa Nurgle who would corrupt them. The funny thing is, had Mortarion refused he could've saved his legion from becoming slaves to the God of Rot & Decay. Typhus was promoted to herald, and is actually higher in the Plague God's rankings than his genesire.

Nathaniel Garro - Garro is a boss. After being relegated to being the Captain of the frigate Eisenstein when he was wounded in battle; he made a daring escape from Istvaan, he delivered a message to Rogal Dorn regarding Horus' betrayal. Despite being backhanded by Dorn, he stood his ground and wound up becoming one of Malcador's Knights Errant. Garro saw an honourable end in the fight against Mortarion on the fields of Terra.

Ignatius Grulgor - Arguably Nurgle's first Daemon Prince. Grulgor was part of the company of soldiers sent to take command of the Eisenstein. Grulgor's orders were to load the torpedo tubes with virus bombs and take their position in the fleet for the upcoming bombing. With the intervention of Garro's housecarl, Grulgor and his men would be exposed to the life eater virus and would meet their inevitable end. During a warp jump, the failing Gellar Field of the Eisenstein would see Grulgor getting a gift from Nurgle enabling him to haunt Garro.

Thousand Sons - The 15th Legion. Doctor Strange and the Dyson Squad, Penn & Teller meets Doomguy, Orlando Magic, Washington Wizards, Wizards of the Coast Warp.

The non-daemon aspects of the Thousand Sons are made up of sorcerers and mobile suits for dust, AKA the Rubric Marines. This is what happens when you dabble in the dark arts; it’s like telling your kids not to play with an Ouija Board at the end of the day they aren’t going to listen and do what they want anyway. The 1K Sons are living proof that the experts don't always know best.

In order to save his brothers from the horros of the Flesh Change; Ahriman would ignore Magnus and carry out his rubric, turning his men into soulless automata.

On the tabletop the 1K Sons get fun stuff such as Soulreaper Cannon with it's S6, 3+, 6 attacks, AP-2, it might only do 1 Damage but it does ignore any saves on a 6. Infernal Masters can use Fires of the Abyss which comes with S6, 2D6 Attacks, AP-2, another 1 Damage but it does Aut0-Hit and blows up the head of the user if they roll 1 on a Hazardous test

Notable Marines

Azhek Ahriman - There's Penn Jillette and David Blaine; and then there is this guy, his power is second only to Magnus himself. His ego and arrogance however eclipse that of even Abaddon. This is a man who thought he could trump even the gods when trying to solve the problem of the flesh change, something even Magnus couldn't do without great personal cost. Ahriman just steps up to the plate and casts his rubric,and watches all his brothers become locked in their armour with their bodies crumbling to dust, Chaos 1 - Ahriman 0.

Phosis T'Kar - Alive during the Horus Heresy. When gripped by the flesh change he knew their was only one cure; and he met his end when he asked Constantin Valdor to kill him.

Mhotep - A hero of the Chapter who died long before the Sons sold their souls to Tzeentch. He was part of a strike team that included Ultramarines, Space Wolves and a World Eater who died trying to destroy the traitor Word Bearers ship Furious Abyss. His task complete, Mhotep now enjoys the quiet peace of playing shuffleboard in the Warp with Skraal of the World Eaters.

Sons of Horus - The 16th Legion. The Running Gag Squad.

Originally the Luna Wolves before being renamed after the Triumph at Ullanor. They were a well respected Legion with many of friends across the Imperium. Even Dorn was a fan, more of Garviel Loken but still a fan.

Things kind of started going downhill from there. Being Warmaster, Horus was stretched thin having to run the Crusade as well as doing the Primarch day job. After the aggressive negotiations on the world of 6319 and the tragedy on the planet Xenobia, Horus’ downfall was guaranteed.

He found himself being unknowingly manipulated by the Word Bearers chaplain Erebus who had managed to convince him that Eugen Temba had turned against him, not the Imperium, just him. Outraged, Horus led the assault on Davin only to be wounded by Temba and the Kinebrach Anathaeme (previously stolen by Erebus on Xenobia). This blade was home to a daemon of Nurgle which infected Horus' body and soul, he was whisked away to the Snake Lodge on Davin’s moon which ended up with Horus siding with the ruinous powers in exchange for his recovery.

He was told some pretty believable lies.

After his death, the Sons were once again renamed by Ezekyle “Kyle” Abaddon to The Black Legion. This legion was the Freemasons of Chaos Warbands, accepting anyone who would fight for the gods and shared Kyle’s dreams for the future. The lore, and memes, would make Kyle out to be a failure but he’s really a very clever individual. All those years in the warp was spent furiously on the Elevate app on his dataslate. More than just a threat to the imperium, the Black Legion are a threat to everyone including each other. Abbie and the BL are the poster boys for Chaos Space Marines, you could say they’re Chaos Ultramarines.

Notable Characters

Ezekyle Abaddon - Guess who's back? Back again. Abby's back, tell some friends. Guess who's back? Guess who's back? Guess who's back? Guess who's back? The Warmaster of Chaos. Abaddon was the First Company Captain of the Luna Wolves/Sons of Horus/New Kids on the Block/Black Legion. As far as Sons of Horus go, he really is the cats pyjamas. Currently the champion of Chaos, he has curried so much favour from the Ruinous Powers that even Be'lakor fears him. He wields the Talon of Horus in one hand and the sword Drach'nyen in the other.

Horus Aximand - Little Horus as he is known to his friends due to his uncanny resemblance to the Primarch, which means he too looks like a bald headed gym teacher. He wielded the sword known as Mour-it-All which could be a play on the word Mournival. Died during the Siege of Terra.

Tarik Torgaddon - The Luna Wolves' resident comedian. An officer of the Mournival; Tarik did all he could to raise everyone's spirits using humour, which for the most part worked. Died during the Istavaan atrocity when fighting Horus Aximand only to be possessed later on by the daemon Tormageddon. His body is currently encased in ferrocrete beneath the Imperial Palace.

Garviel Loken - The most honourable and by the book warrior in the Legion. If you don't like Garviel then you and I can't be friends. This guy is to the Horus Heresy as what Titus is to 40K. But that {expletive deleted} Erebus!

Maloghurst - The Twisted. Maloghurst is the Jafar of the luna Wolves.

Word Bearers - The 17th Legion. Televangelist Faith Healers, Peter Popoff and his Prayer Patrol, Victor Vatican and the Cardinal Crew.

If any of the factions represented the evils found in organised religions it would be the Word Bearers. From being Emperor worshipping Zealots to Ruinous Power worshipping fanatics, nothing advertises the bad side of religion more than this lot. Every time they brought a world to compliance, they would erect churches and monuments to the Emperor and when the Emperor scolded Lorgar, the dynamic duo of Kor Phaeron and Erebus right royally screwed things up. The Horus Heresy, the Age of Apostasy, the Imperial Cult? All of it was caused by the ministrations of 40K's answer to TB Joshua and Tony Alamo.

Honestly. If Lorgar wasn't such a weak willed wimp who let himself be corrupted by Tweedledick and Tweedledom, the whole story of 40K might have been radically different.

Notable Characters

Erebus - Erebus is a dick! There is no two way about it. His parents hated him; Erebus isn't even his real name, it was the name of the boy across the street. When his parents asked him "Why can't you be more like Erebus?" He killed Erebus and took his place.

Kor Phaeron - There's the emotionally distant Emperor who didn't prepare his sons for the shit they would be facing and then there is this guy. If you've ever read or watched the OG Berserk, Kor Phaeron is the fusion of Griffith and Gambino.

Zardu Layak - The Crimson Apostle. Led an assault on Calth where his forces did unspeakable acts on the human population. Died during the siege of Terra.

Argel Tal - One of the first of the Gal Vorbak, a marine that was deliberately exposed to the warp and had become possessed. Died during a conflict on the world of Nuceria.

Alpha Legion - The Office of Unspecified Services. I also didn’t say that they weren’t traitors.

To accurately describe the Alpha Legion you have to simultaneously play 5D Chess, whilst nailing jelly to a tree whilst using a skirting board ladder to apply tartan paint to a wall made of steam.

Notable Characters

Mathias Herzog - One of the go to guys during the Horus Heresy.

Solomon Akurra - The Harrowmaster that holds the blade of the Pale Spear and is currently forging a new Empire

Primarchs

3: Fulgrim, Primarch of the Emperor’s Children - Purdy Snake Boi. Jake “The Snake” Roberts, Solid Snake

4: Perturabo, Primarch of the Iron Warriors - World’s oldest nerd, Peter Petulant, Peter Turbo and the Ditch Diggers

8: Konrad Curze, Primarch of the Night Lords - Batman with a skinning fetish

12: Angron, Primarch of the World Eaters - Spartacus meets Mao Zedong

14: Mortarion, Primarch of the Death Guard - When Death and Pestilence have a child.

15: Magnus the Red, Primarch of the Thousand Sons - Doctor Dust Buster, Mr Child Support, David Copperfield. Whether Magnus did anything wrong or not is up for debate, but he turned down the Emperor’s offer of redemption. All he had to do was abandon his legion. The Emperor was going to build him a new legion, one not corrupted by the flesh change. It’s honourable that Magnus didn’t want to abandon his sons but he should’ve been smart enough to see the big picture, or maybe he needs to watch Wrath of Khan a few times

16: Horus Lupercal, Primarch of the Sons of Horus - He’s not the messiah, he’s a very naughty boy. You are either die a hero or you live long enough to become the villain. Honestly, Horus is disappointment incarnate. He gets poisoned by his old friend Eugen Temba, he gets taken to a lodge of a chaos cult and lied to. What makes it worse is he knows he’s being lied to and instead of accepting death and dying in the Emperor’s name he accepts the offer of Chaos believing their lie. This led to a prophetic vision shown to him coming to pass because the vision he was shown was as a result of Horus changing teams at half-time

17: Lorgar Aurelian, Primarch of the Word Bearers - Bishop Len Brennan, he who would be king, Mr Tantrum. People say Perturabo is petulant but everyone forgets how Lorgar threw his toys out of the pram and signed up to play for Chaos. He should’ve proved the Emperor wrong but no, he was in such a huff that he had to rebel

20: Alpahrius Omegon, Primarch of the Alpha Legion - Prepare for Trouble, and make it Double. When it comes to the Gemini among the Primarchs, no one truly knows whether Alpharius is Alpharius and what team he plays for

If this were a Book it would be: 1632 by Eric Flint. The book depicts the Catholic Army at the Battle of the Crapper (insert giggle here) as murderous and lecherous

If this were a TV Show it would be: Fear the Walking Dead, the National Guard in Season 3 are a good representation of a corrupted version of an army

If this were a Movie it would be: 28 Days Later. Christopher Eccleston’s band of unmerry men are a bunch of expletives

If this were a Country it would be: Burkina Faso, or any other country under Martial Law or ruled by Military Junta

Al’s Opinion

Chaos Space Marines are more than just a facsimile of the Adeptus Astartes, they have some of the best unit designs in the game. Whereas most space marines are just palette swaps with little difference between them. The Chaos lot have vastly different types, and with the new Iron Warrios refresh coming for 11th, I really want to start a Chaos army.

Chaos Daemons

I know I listed the Daemons in the Chaos section above but I am going to list them again but with a little more information. It seems like a nice way to round out this article on the forces of Chaos.

Isaac Newton once stated that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. This and a few other nuggets of information soon became one of the cornerstones of Physics and Thermodynamics. This is especially true in the warp. Daemons are a malicious bunch full of empty promises and smiles, a bit like a politician, and are created by the actions of psychically sensitive races such as humans and Aeldari. When one of the PSR conscientiously decides to commit an act of war, treason, hedonism, or letting stuff decay just to spread disease, it creates an echo in warp leading to the birth of daemons and gods. Most actions in the 40K universe have an echo in the Warp but only the major actions have any real power in the Warp.

The good thing about daemons is they’re a bit like fish, they don’t tend to live long outside of their natural environment. If they spend too much time outside of the warp they end up becoming a nasty stain on the ground, needing to bathe in the immaterial hot tub to recover. Unless some idiot makes a pact with a daemon and ends up being it's host.

Daemons of Khorne

Having already established Khorne as the lover of blood, skulls, and breakfast cereal we can elucidate further the daemons that call him master

Bloodletters - A favourite method of communicating for those who choose not to abide by the law and the foot soldiers of Khorne. These horny red chaps with tongues that would make Gene Simmons jealous, are the personification of hate and violence. If you’re an avid hater of broccoli then there’s good news as this hate will have spawned a broccoli hating bloodletter. Each of them stride into battle armed with a Hellblade and can re-roll wound rolls when making a melee attack.

Flesh Hounds of Khorne - Like any good hunter, Khorne likes his dogs. Khorne has spent millennia training his dogs to sit, stay, fetch, play dead, and also how to rip & tear his enemies apart. They track their prey by following the psychic stench of fear emanating from said individual. In battle they like getting up close and personal with rendering the flesh of their victims to pulp with their fangs being their signature move. The also love belching fire upon their prey with their Burning Roar. You won’t find these dogs in your local pet shop, nor would you want to given they mark their territory with napalm.

Juggernaut - These colossal beasts are what happens when people poach Rhinos. A fusion of brass and beast, few anthropologists have encountered this pernicious pachyderm and lived to tell the tale. These brass behemoths are so savage that Khorne doesn’t allow them into the inner circle of his realm, not only do they murder whatever they see, they leave massive “deposits” in his favourite flowerbeds and often spoil his bloodbath. Juggernauts are listed as steeds of Khorne and are often seen with Bloodletters mounted on their backs, this combination forms a new unit called a Bloodcrusher. On the tabletop they do D3 Mortal Wounds after a charge into enemy units and the last words their victims will ever hear is "I'm the Juggernaut, bitch!"

Herald of Khorne - What happens when a Bloodletter gets too good at his job? He gets promoted to Herald. These Heralds come in three flavours, a bit like Neapolitan ice-cream. Skullmasters lead Khorne’s Cavalry from the front screaming bloody murder to all in their way. Rendmasters are the favoured of the Blood God and get to ride into battle on the blood throne with their master. When a Herald reaches a certain level of bloodshed and favour they become a Sacred Executioner, Khorne’s favourite herald, as most of the skulls collected by them are offered up to the blood god for his skull throne

Daemon Prince - Imagine if you’re a mortal who worships the blood god. Good news, if you kill enough people and build a big enough throne out of the all the skulls you’ve collected then you too can become one of the Blood God’s chosen champions.

Bloodthirsters - These great and bloody daemons are the avatars of the Blood God. Moulded in his image; these Barons of Battle, these Sultans of Slaughter are wrath incarnate. Being the physical embodiment of murder, rage, and bloodshed that stand imposing on the battlefield. At a height of 10 metres tall, these models of murder wield an axe with a blade the length of an astartes which is capable of splitting tanks in half and enjoy whipping enemies at range with their barbed whip. Survivors of such attacks, as few as they are, swear to the Emperor that the whip contains a phone number with the message “Call now for your free whipping” etched upon it. On the tabletop they have an ability called Relentless Carnage, any target in engagement has 8 D6 rolled against them and a 4+ that target takes 1 mortal wound.

Notable Daemons

Ka’Bandha - A brutish bloodthirster that ranks amongst one of Khorne’s most powerful generals and a somewhat saviour of the Blood Angels. Ka’Bandha rose to become the prominent nemesis of the primarch Sanguinius having fought him during the Signus Campaign and went 0 for 2 during the Battle of Terra. During the Devastation of Baal Ka’Bandha saved the Blood Angels from Hive Fleet Leviathan, believing him the only one allowed to slay the sons of Sanguinius

Karanak - Khorne is a noted fan of Greek Mythology as evidenced by the 3 headed Flesh Hound that patrols his throne room tearing apart any who wander in, as well as Khorne’s collection of Bunny slippers.

Skarbrand the Exiled One - Wrath Incarnate, Skarbrand was once Khorne’s mightiest minion until a fight with the forces of Tzeentch caused him to strike the Blood God. Big mistake as Khorne backhanded him across the immaterium and exiled him from the his realm. Skarbrand now roams the universe on a one daemon crusade to earn his place in the Blood God’s Domain. His fury and wrath have led to anyone in his way getting the hell out of Dodge, even the Grey Knights fear him although that doesn’t stop them trying to smite him and return him to the warp

Daemons of Nurgle

Have you ever opened your fridge to find a piece of mouldy cheese in the back? That’s what the minions of Nurgle like to leave behind when they come to town. Rot, decay, disease, and filth are the calling cards for this rabble.

Plaguebearer - The foot soldier of Nurgle are the embodiment of those who died to Nurgle’s farts virulent diseases. These shambling sultans of sickness move slowly towards their enemies soaking up all the damage inflicted upon them like a sponge. Bloated with Nurgle’s “blessing,” they are often seen with gangly and bony limbs, and surrounded with swarms of flies. They have also been known to chant when on the battlefield, they count the number of diseases created by the Lord of Decay; a job with no end seeing as Nurgle is constantly making new ways to kill people. Poxwalkers can also be made into a Pox Rider by giving them a Plague Toad or Plague Drone by giving them a Rot Fly. In the tabletop they can hold an objective when they are nowhere near it with Infected Outbreak, so long as they were within 3” of it at the end of the Command Phase.

Nurglings - Putrid pusterlings, slimy snotballs, carefree contagion. These happy little chaps are created in the bellies of the Great Unclean Ones and are among those favoured by the plague god. When it comes to Nurgle’s favourite heralds, these diminutive daemons carry them about on palanquins and when not otherwise engaged can be found making gifts and trinkets for their masters out dead animals, fungi, and any other source of decay. Quite often a follower of Nurgle will find one farting in their coffee. Everyone loves a Nurgling, especially the Sassy Nurgling.

Beast of Nurgle - Slime Hounds, Nurgle’s Lapdogs, Rotten Rottweilers, Putrid Poodles. These slug-like beasts are among the hardiest of Nurgle’s lesser daemons. The slowly inch their way across the battlefield tanking hits from anyone firing upon them, the only sure way to take them out is by launching cannonballs of sea salt into their hideous hides. When not being used as expendable ballistic shields, they make good pets for daemons and Nurgle worshippers

Battle Fly - One of many of the putrid daemons used as a steed by Plaguebearers

Rot Fly - A lot like the Battle Fly but uglier

Plague Toad - Much like the Beasts of Nurgle except they’re toads

Herald of Nurgle - The most senior and favoured of the Plaguebearers gets elevated to status of Herald. There are many different types of Herald:-

1. If a human who resists the ravages of Nurgle’s plagues for a significant period of time becomes a Poxbringer.
2. Sloppity Bilepipers are what happens when a Plaguebearer fails in counting the plagues of Nurgle, for this offence Nurgle infects them with the Chortling Murrain, one of the few failed creations of the Plague Lord. The disease, which has antiseptic properties, turns the daemons infected into a marching band. The biggest use for the Bilepipers are to infect the enemy with the contagious contagion which leads them to uncontrollable fits of laughter.
3. Pox Scriveners fill the role of Tax Collector, Auditor, and Biographer for Nurgle. They tally the number of plagues counted by Plaguebearers as well as any Plaguebearers that skip a count. They also must audit their work or face the Chortling Murrain.

Great Unclean One - If you’re looking for a daemon that looks and smells like the Great Grandfarter Grandfather then look no further than the Great Unclean Ones. These Daemon Princes of Nurgle are jovial daemons that are the embodiment of Nurgle’s most sacred diseases, illnesses, and pathogens. Monstrous in size, these Sires of Sickness are often covered with buboes and pus with their organs spewing out of holes in their abdomen. When not commanding the forces of Nurgle on the battlefield, they can be found concocting new plagues, catching up on their crochet, listening to Cradle of Filth, and generally stabbing each other in the back.

On the battlefield, these walking pillars of putrefaction move with a grace that opposes their bulk.

Notable Daemons

Rotigus - Rotigus embodies Nurgle’s generosity and fecundity. He’s often seen humming as he goes about his work, answering prayers, and casting Nurgle’s putrid rain upon unsuspecting worlds. The Deluge of Nurgle is his to command, and he enjoys sharing his joy with everyone he meets.

Septicus Seven - Second in Command to Ku’gath and Commander of the Septicus Legion. Often seen sporting a set of homemade bagpipes which often ended up irritating those around him. Met his untimely end when he was smited by the Emperor’s Flaming Sword wielded by Roboute Guilliman on the world of Iax.

Ku’gath - The Plaguefather. Ku’gath was the mastermind behind the Godblight that nearly killed Guilliman, but Guilliman had just finished playing Munchkin and whipped out his Divine Intervention card, putting an end to Ku’gath’s plans. Having previously ignored the orders of Nurgle, Ku’gath had teamed up with Mortarion to try and bring Ultramar into the Kingdom of Nurgle. This plan went Pete Tong and the pair ended up on Nurgle’s naughty list.

Epidemius - The Tallyman of Nurgle. This Daemon spends his day being carted around on a palanquin on the backs of Nurglings as he counts the diseases and plagues of Nurgle.

Daemons of Tzeentch

Tzeentch is an odd one for his choice of minions. Aside from the many people who wander lost in the Crystal Maze Labyrinth, the company the Great Deceiver keeps can be described as eclectic. I guess the changer of ways often changes his mind when creating his subordinates. Tzeentch definately has a fetish for birds, but his tastes also extend to fish and for whatever reason, the Moon.

The Scintillating Legions can often find the following among them: -

Horror of Tzeentch - These cheerful, happy-go-lucky sprites have a rather malleable form, possessing no rigid shape or structure and wouldn’t look out of place in a Ghostbusters movie. Their unique makeup leads the little blighters to cheat death a few times. Upon death, the Horrors split into two smaller Horrors.

Horrors come in the flavours of Pink, Blue, Brimstone, Iridescent, and Rocky. A pink horror will split into two blue horrors, and a blue horror will split into two brimstone horrors. A rocky horror needs no explanation. Pink Horrors are known to squeal with shrill, high pitched laughter. Blue Horrors are the polar opposite of their Pink predecessors being grumpy little buggers, perhaps their diminutive stature gives them a Napoleon Complex. Brimstone Horrors are despised by their fellow Tzeentchians, not only do these miniature monsters stink like a Nurgling on curry night at Wetherspoons but they’re spiteful and vindictive knowing that they will never be in a place of command amongst their peers. Iridescent Horrors are unique creations, used by Tzeentch when his legions of Horrors need a leader. A shimmering pink in colour, these chaps don’t split into two upon death but just simply die.

Flamer of Tzeentch - These horrific creatures are walking braziers of raw magic. Despite their name, they do not belch fire from their gaping maw, but spew matter made of magic and change. When they attack, the victim doesn’t die from searing heat but suffers from whatever effects the flames bestow upon them. This has led Tzeentch to brand each one with the mark “Results May Vary”

Screamer - Screamers are what happens when a Stingray develops an unhealthy obsession for spikes and tusks. These beasts fly about on the winds of the warp; hunting down any lost and wayward soul, or a midnight snack. Hunting in a pack formation, these mindless manta-rays live only for the hunt and will stop at nothing until they have slain their prey. Very few people have survived to tell of the Screamers' psychologically damaging shriek

The Disc of Tzeentch - What happens when one of the daemons of Tzeentch or any of the Champions fighting in his name gets really popular among the Scintillating legions? Tzeentch rewards them with a beyblade Disc of Tzeentch. Tzeentch takes one of his many screamers and using his 9th Dimension origami skills turns it into a disk to give to one of his favoured followers. Should this disc be awarded to a Flamer of Tzeentch; it evolves, like a Pokemon, into a Changebringer but still looks a lot like a beyblade

Herald of Tzeentch - Sometimes a Pink Horror is unhappy with their station in life, it's never easy being bottom of the food chain. Sometimes they want to feel important, so they hit the library and study hard. After brushing up on their general knowledge and arcane lore; these diminutive daemons must claim first prize in a pub quiz before being elevated to the lofty position of Herald. As the Herald of Tzeentch, they are often seen at the forefront of any army with a pack of Horrors in tow. Heralds earn the name Changecaster by spewing mutating magic on their unfortunate prey. Should a Herald ever be lucky enough to earn a Burning Chariot (basically a Disc pulled by two Screamers) they become Ben Hur a Fateskimmer, which provides them the chance to cast magic at speed. The only drawback is that most Fateskimmers are cowards, preferring to be the Commissar instead of the Conscript. Those Heralds who earn their Disc of Tzeentch become Fluxmasters, which sounds like some failed brand of Transformer. Fluxmasters are often used as Messengers as they move swiftly across the battlefield and can caste Changebolts that rapidly mutate their targets.

Lord of Change - Like any Greater Daemon, the Lord of Change is an approximation of what Tzeentch looks like. Seeing as Tzeentch is known as the Changer of Ways, he is known for having a different look for every day of the week (watch out for his Friday look). The Lords of Change are the Generals of Tzeentch's Armies, towering over their fellow daemons take on the appearance of great anthropomorphic birds with shimmering skin and rainbow like wings. Despite being blessed with a fraction of Tzeentch's power, these daemons are literally nothing but pawns in Tzeentch's master plan, which we all know is to take over the world with his buddy Pinky. Being Tzeentch's most favoured daemons; the Lord of Change is often seen pulling the strings behind the scenes like an ethereal puppet master. Their knowledge and mastery of the warp is second only to Tzeentch and David Blaine. Lords of Change will make deals with unsuspecting humans, granting them immense power that ultimately backfires when needed most.

Notable Daemons

The Blue Scribes - A pair of blue Horrors, P’Tarix and Xirat’p, were created by the Lord of Change to scour the cosmos to find and learn every spell and every piece of forbidden knowledge

Zzak’tar - An iridescent horror that is part of the Brazen Host and a known attendee of the San Diego ComicCon

The Changeling - This conniving little backstabber is one of the Lord of Change's favourite daemons. Tzeentch supercharged this daemons shapeshifting ability so that it could change into any form, from a tiny flea to a Greater Daemon and anything in-between. Using these abilities, the Changeling will sow discord and mistrust among those it knows will provide a benefit to it's master. When not being an absolute prick, the Changeling likes to hang around on the promenade of DS9 and telling the local barman that "he's keeping an eye on him"

Kairos Fateweaver - Kairos is to Tzeentch as Jafar is to the Sultan of Agrabah. Being Tzeentch's vizier, Kairos has access to all knowledge pertaining Fate and Destiny which helps him fulfil the role of Oracle. Kairos' two heads are in constant contradiction, one can see the past and the other the future, one always tells the truth and the other always lies. Neither of them can see the present and neither of them can seem to decide which head will fulfil which role. Kairos wasn't always an insane two headed birdman. Once he was like any other Lord of Change until Tzeentch took a road trip to the centre of the universe, to the Well of Eternity. One by one, Tzeentch threw his pets into the well and watched them drown; until he threw in Kairos. Kairos survived and came out of the well with a second head and being driven insane by all the knowledge of the future to come. Tzeentch likes Kairos this way, not only can he not see the present; but with his insane minds and withered body the strongest of his daemons has been turned into an old age pensioner; which keeps Kairos from trying to steal Tzeentch's throne out from under him

Daemons of Slaanesh

Fair is Foul and Foul is Fair.

You would like to think that the Prince of Pleasure, the Perfect Prince would have perfect minions. Alas no. Well actually that depends on your perception, you might find yourself attracted to some of Slaanesh’s creations, you may be repulsed. I'd say Slaanesh is bringing sexy back but let's be honest, some of these daemons are horrifying.

Whatever your tastes are, Slaanesh no doubt has your particular kinks covered

Daemonette - The foot soldier of Slaanesh. These androgynous lobster ladies are described as both beautiful and repulsive. They commonly come in a light shade of pink/purple, typically wearing black leather said to be made of human skin. Each Daemonette possesses an extraordinarily long tongue and can even sport multiple breasts, not pairs, just multiple individual breasts. Not the kind of girl you bring home to meet your mum.

Lady of the Voids - Not often seen in 40K, especially as it doesn't yet have a model, only ever spotted in the Calixis Sector of the Galaxy. This particular daemon is Slaanesh's answer to the Sirens of Greek myths. These ladies like their Greek counterparts, are the whispers in the Warp, they prey upon a vessel's crew with their sweet siren song and probe for weaknesses in the crew's navigators and astropaths. Once they have found the weakness they are looking for they manipulate it to pass through a ship's Gellar Fields (shield that keeps the Immaterial outside the ship) and prey upon the crew. Many a hulk have been found ravaged by the Legions of Excess as a result.

The Ruination of Imperfect Beauty - This daemon likes to haunt the worlds of the Calixis Sector enticing weak-willed men with promises of sex, drugs, and rock 'n roll. It feeds off the ruin of their dreams and ambitions, ruin that it inflicts upon these men. Schemers, artists, and artisans are the preferred prey for the Ruination as they build a career around the idea of perfection, which makes it all the more satisfying when the house of cards falls.

Seekers of Slaanesh - Sometimes you can't wait for life to give you what you want, sometimes you have to just take what you want and hope it doesn't bite you in the rear. This is how Seekers are made. The Steeds of Slaanesh are carefree and run wild all over the domain of the Dark Prince, representing Slaanesh's carefree attitude. A daemonette will sometimes get ideas above their station and sneak upon a Steed whilst it is still and try to make it their mount. This is an almost impossible task as these Steeds have great levels of stamina and can run at great speed almost indefinitely. In order to secure their mount, a Daemonette must first bind it with chains of silver. When the rider and mount are one they become a Seeker, part of the Legions of Excess' Cavalry. These swift bird-footed beasts hunt their prey with unnatural speed, few is the number of people who have been prey to these beasts and survived, hunting them down with a tongue that would make an anteater blush.

Fiends of Slaanesh - If you ever wanted to find the unit in the game of Warhammer 40000 that most represented "WTF" then you have come to the right place. The Fiends are part daemon, part centaur, part chimera, part nightmare. Slaanesh's sanity is often called into question when unsuspecting people come across one of these beasts. How to describe it? The head is that of a goat with extended horns and a tongue that Gene Simmons would be proud of, the "humanoid" torso is covered in breasts with the arms ending in the lobster like claws of the Daemonettes, the legs are a union of horses hooves fused to beast legs that face the other way and between those legs is a huge scorpion tail. On the tabletop these fiends give enemies within 6" -1 to hit, and should that unit want to try Desperate Escape they also get -1 to that roll.

Heralds of Slaanesh - What happens when a Daemonette sufficiently pleases She Who Thirsts? Well for one, nightmare fuel, and two, the Daemonette is imbued with a measure of Slaanesh's power and becomes one of his Heralds. Heralds are harder, better, stronger, and faster than your standard Daemonette. They are the handmaidens to the Lord of Excess and take to the battlefield with impossible grace and horrifying cruelty. On the battlefield they can often be found riding Seeker Chariots on the battlefield. Only named Heralds get a model on the tabletop

Keeper of Secrets - Now the keeper of secrets title has often confused me, you'd think it would fit a daemon of Tzeentch but no. I suppose Slaanesh likes listening to the secrets of those that whisper into the dark, sharing their most secret desires with no one but the hours that lie in wait. The Keepers are the generals of Slaanesh's armies and each is made to reflect the particular mood Slaanesh was in at the time of their creation. These loathsome creatures stride into battle on slender legs that end with cloven hooves, their four arms wielding a variety of weapons and their androgynous features exude allure. To look upon the Keeper you will be enveloped with pain and pleasure simultaneously. Their ultimate goal is to corrupt those of pure heart and noble intent, for such a prize would bring glory to the Sultan of Sex. On the tabletop they come equipped with a range weapon know as the Phantasmagoria which despite it's 12" range deals 6 attacks, is a strength 6 weapon that shoots on a 2+ , has -2AP. If Focused fire is selected, the KoS can deal out 9 attacks. It might only do 1 damage per shot but if all nine manage to wound then who really cares. What really stands out on the data sheet is the Witstealer Sword, this strength 6 weapon comes with 8 attacks, -2AP, hits on a 2+ and delivers 3 damage to the foe. For an extra 15 points you can equip a KoS with the Soulstealer ability which lets you regain one wound if you kill an enemy model in melee.

Notable Daemons

Shilaxi Helbane - The Keeper of Secrets that Slaanesh created for the sole purpose of pissing Khorne off. Helbane was created to crave battle and takes pleasure in ending the life of worthy adversaries, which in turn feeds Slaanesh. Helbane's favourite prey are the Bloodthirsters of Khorne, and it has been known that Helbane gave Skarbrand a black eye in battle.

The Masque of Slaanesh - A Herald of Slaanesh. Once his favoured dancer and chief handmaiden, the Masque was cursed by her master to dance forever throughout the universe. Any unsuspecting victim that becomes enraptured by the dance will join in with the revelry until they die from exhaustion.

The Infernal Enrapturess - This is less a named character and more of a specialist unit but who cares. The Infernal Enrapturess takes to the field with a harp made from the bodies of her victims. This Muse of Agony, this bringer of Discord, this Herald of the Choir Infernal will bolster the armies of Slaanesh and shred the foe with destructive sonic waves.

Honourable Mentions

These daemons are the ones that don't align themselves with anyone god but instead serve the pantheon

Be'Lakor - The first daemon prince of Chaos Undivided. The only time the gods admit they made a mistake. When they combined their powers to create the Dark Master they forgot to install an off switch. Be'lakor got ideas above his station and tried to ascend to godhood. The fantastic four intervened and put Bellie in his place, now he scours the universe venting his frustrations on unwilling targets.

Vashtorr the Arkifane - Quite simply the coolest name in the whole of 40K, it's a shame he is terrible on the table. He looks badass, a blend of flesh and machine. He is the embodiment of human ambition, the drive to make things better than before and he got a massive boost when Belisarius Cawl created the Primaris Marines. His goal is to become the 5th Chaos God but the gods can't exactly move against him as he is the Soul Forge King, he makes weapons and Daemon Engines for the other gods and their respective forces. He has met the Machine God and is worshipped by the Dark Mechanicum as the Omnissiah. Currently he is searching for old tech that will help him achieve his goals

If this were a book it would be: The works of Lovecraft and other Cthulhu Mythos stories. Demons in fiction are a tricky lot, at least we know the beings in such stories are malevolent

If this were a tv show it would be: The Good Place

If this were a movie it would be: Urotsukidoji, sorry it’s the only thing I could think of

If this were a country it would be: Sudan. This is a tricky one to figure out, given that there are no demon run countries or countries with a 4-way government.

Al's Opinion

The Ruinous Powers are exactly that, Ruinous. People like to think that they are the embodiment of emotion and whilst that is true, the forces of the Immaterium are anything but benevolent. Nurgle promises he'll take away all your pain, the thing is he is the one who inflicted it upon you in the first place. Tzeentch promises knowledge and great sorcerous powers, but they come at a cost that is too high to pay and you'll watch yourself become one of the Scintillating Legion, a mindless drone to the God of Trickery. Side with Khorne and you can wave goodbye to logic and reason as you turn into a mindless killing machine who seeks only battle, inevitably fated to die upon the blade of a superior warrior. As for Slaanesh, the vast majority of Slaanesh's worshippers end up and either furniture in the homes of the chosen or as playthings for the Daemonettes. Whatever faction you choose will end up with you becoming a slave to the Gods of Chaos. All those gullible fools who followed Horus and signed themselves up for an eternity of damnation and servitude.

Fun to play on the tabletop either as a a single faction or as a homogenised Chaos Undivided army.