4 | A Parody of Visual Novels that Features Friends of Mine

(Note: Yes, there are more chapters. This is the fourth chapter. The third chapter is right here. Also, Mudae is explain a little bit more in this one...)

As I am eating the mochi, Kishin decides to speak.

KISHIN: So, uhm, there is this game called Mudae, and you are supposed to “roll” characters. In a nutshell, you are supposed to type in simple commands and that’s how you roll the characters. There are rare characters you can get, but you don’t have to do that. You can also just “claim” characters you like. Oh, and also, people can “snipe” you. So if you roll a rare character, fifty trillion people will tap on the reaction icon just because they want the character.

YOU: I see. So basically, you do this command, and then you can keep rolling until you find a rare character or a character you like?

KISHIN: Yes.

YOU: How is this club even accepted…? It’s not even “productive” by this school’s standards…

DEVIS: Kiri-san allowed it.

YOU: Oh. So you guys took advantage of her? I see now.

NIG-SAN: Don’t say it like that… we just-

KAZUMA: Nig-san said she was going to teach kids how to learn the art of Gachagami.

YOU: Gachagami…? Nig-san, I didn’t know you liked Gacha AND origami.

NIG-SAN: I don’t even know a single thing about origami! A-anyway, since we are done eating, let’s just claim characters now?!

ALL OF THE GIRLS (BESIDES DINO): Alright!

So basically you just claim these anime characters that have rankings #300 and lower. The rankings are decided by how many people claim and like them in real life. Also, there are Mudae servers. We are playing in a global Mudae server against other users. Most of the “good” stuff is already claimed. You’d expect Nig-san, being the generous childhood friend she is to gift me a rare character, but she didn’t. She just said this:

NIG-SAN: Free characters…? This isn’t a charity! Hell no!

YOU: Uh… sorry…

NIG-SAN: Hmph! Ask someone else!

KISHIN: Sorry… I wish I had something for you, but I divorced some of my characters for kakera…

KAZUMA: Erm, I don’t have anything I’m willing to give away.

DEVIS: Mayhaps for 350,000 kakera? Just kidding… unless??

DINO: I’m a solo player anyway, so, uhm, sure? I’ll just give you a rank 1000 character.

YOU: Uh? Isn’t that sort of bad?

DINO: Well, technically, yes. But in a big server like this, this thing costs almost half a million kakera. That’s a lot.

YOU: I see, I see…

She does a gift command which is simply a dollar sign before “gift.” It looks like this: $gift. Every command on Mudae uses a dollar sign prefix.

The claims are #1052, and the likes… are #607.

NIG-SAN: Hm? Oh, I guess you got something nice? But I recommend just cashing it in for a million kakera. I don’t even know what anime it’s from anyway.

The character name says Efriskeet. I don’t know it, either.

DINO: Hm. It’s a genderless character. How do ugly characters even get on the rankings board anyway…? Well, whatever.

KISHIN: All of the characters are suggested by the community. Then the creator of Mudae might put them in the game.

DINO: Oh… ok. I forgot.

DEVIS: Guys~ someone is offering a rank #5000 character for 260,000 kakera! I’ll do it, because I love~ kakera. But still, what a scam! Hopefully nobody tells this guy, though.

Devis drools. Ew.

YOU: So anyway, what I’m I gonna do now?

NIG-SAN: I guess you can just join a dead Mudae server and just do you. Or you can ask Dino to join hers.

YOU: Dino, can-

DINO: Don’t push your luck. This is my private Mudae server. Make your own.

YOU: Sorry?

In Mudae, there are also these different servers. The one where Nig-san and the others are playing is called Mudae World. Otherwise known as the biggest Mudae server ever. Based on Mudae, at least.

You can also make your own server by tapping on this plus sign button, and you may invite friends and they can invite their friends so you can play with them. Or you can just play by yourself and claim all of the rare characters. Like Dino.

Also kakera is the in-game currency that you can buy things to enhance your Mudae game experience. Like boosts.

If you make a new server, everything resets. So all of the characters aren’t claimed. However, since I just joined Mudae and I’m in the Mudae World server, practically everything good is claimed. And hardly any of my fellow Gacha club members are helping me out with my situation.

Everyone is silent and beeping noises fill up the room. I’ve only been here for 10 minutes, and I’ve been spending most of that time eating mochi.

So I decide to talk to Dino.

DINO: Hn? Wumpus-san? What do you want?

YOU: I was just wondering when did you join the Gacha club.

DINO: Hmm…? I joined a month after it opened. Nig-san asked for me to join, so I did. Only because I’m nice.

YOU: Sure you are.

NIG-SAN: Wumpucchi! Look! I sniped someone!!

KAZUMA: That’s our great president.

DEVIS: Indeed!

Devis smugly smiles. Even though she didn’t even snipe anyone.

NIG-SAN: Huh? But aren’t you prone to sniping or something?

DEVIS: …

NIG-SAN: Oh, you too.

DEVIS: Wdym?

She didn’t actually say “Wdym.” She just said those exact letters.

NIG-SAN: Oh, nothing. It’s just… you and Wumpucchi do that exact same silence thingy.

Silence thingy…?

DEVIS: Oh, that’s funny, tehe. Maybe we’ll get along.

Maybe.

Everyone just keeps doing their own thing and plays Mudae. I join a more silent Mudae server and play.

DEVIS: Hmmm…? Wumpus, why are you playing by yourself?

YOU: I’m not. I’m playing in a different server is all.

DEVIS: A dead server is just you by yourself. Are you just worried you can’t fit in with us girls?

Not gonna lie, but that’s the case.

DEVIS: Oh. Well it’s fine. I mean, I’ve heard a lot about you from Nig-san. You two are childhood best friends and you have a twin sister.

YOU: Grotech? Yes. Also when did she say this?

DEVIS: Uh…

Nig-san almost immediately chimes in.

NIG-SAN: You’ve made me get sniped!! Now what are you two chatting about?

YOU: Oh, nothing. Just that you talk a lot about me here in the Gacha club.

NIG-SAN: B-because… you are my friend…

YOU: Geh…

NIG-SAN: J-just kidding! I’d never blabber my mouth about an idiot like you! What Devis said are — lies!

YOU: But she knows Grotech…?

NIG-SAN: Gh?! Dino told her!!

DINO: Hi.

Dino pops up her head from her phone screen.

NIG-SAN: Go away. I didn’t call you.

DINO: Uhm, ok.

Nig-san sighs.

NIG-SAN: Ugh… Dino hates me.

EVERYONE (INCLUDING DINO): …

NIG-SAN: Let’s just roll.

Kishin was mostly quiet. Nig-san said it is because she is a competitive player, and doesn’t like distractions. She is also kind. Yet again, more rumors.

However, I’ve learned a bit more about these girls.

Kazuma is the kind and caring type. She is shy in front of new people, likes food, and probably gets nervous in front of new people.

She has glasses, long, jet black hair, black stockings, and a short skirt.

Devis is the enthusiastic tomboy type. She isn’t shy, she can read people if she has enough clues, and she isn’t afraid to speak her mind. She has a “classic serious look,” when she really seems drastically dumb. But she is good enough to talk to.

She has short black hair, dark, foreboding eyes, and a short skirt that complements her hair. Also, she has a cowlick.

Since I know Dino longer than the rest of the girls, (excluding Nig-san, who I have known the longest) I can say with utmost certainty that she is basically a secret brain. She corrects other people’s homework for free, as long as they don’t tell she isn’t going to class. She seems unfriendly but probably has a soft spot in her heart.

Dino loves video games and sleeping during the weekend. Other than what I just said, I know next to nothing about her personal life.

Nig-san is just a strange and bizarre creature that I’m friends with. I know nothing about Kishin besides rumors and how she looks. However, I do know for sure she is at the top of her grade in all subjects.

Kishin has jet black hair, a hime cut just like Nig-san, an “onee-san” figure, and she wears glasses. Actually, I’m not sure if she wears them because she has poor eyesight, because she seems fine without them while playing Mudae.

These girls… they are so unique. Maybe I’ll play Mudae after all tomorrow…?

(Extra Extra Extra Note: I guess this just proves all of these girls are gacha whales. Which most of them still are. Oh. By the way, these girls are all based on boys. The main character, "Wumpus," is just a self-insert of a certain mascot from a certain website.)