25+ Innuendos in Harry Potter You Didn't Notice

by Charlotte Poitras 2 years ago in mature

Kids will not understand it...

25+ Innuendos in Harry Potter You Didn't Notice

It seems impossible that teenagers in a boarding school never thought of getting a little intimate sometimes. We never heard about anyone having sex in the Room of Requirement, using “engorgio” to make their wand bigger, or taking advantage of a love potion. They all married their first love, had kids after tying the knot, and lived happily ever after. It just looks like everyone dying and being tortured was fine for kids but spending some time between the sheets was too much.

J.K. Rowling did notice this little problem and put some sexual innuendos in her latest book so grown-ups could have something a little more fun to read, and some Potterheads even saw more things than what the writer originally meant. This is why we are showing you more than 25 innuendos in Harry Potter you didn't notice.

In the Harry Potter Book Series:

When Ron was finally interested in Lavender:

"Oh, Professor, look! I think I've got an unexpected planet! Oooh, which one's that, Professor?" "It is Uranus, my dear," said Professor Trelawney, peering down at the chart "Can I look at Uranus, too, Lavender?" said Ron.

When Myrtle made people feel more uncomfortable than ever:

"Have you been spying on him, too?" said Harry indignantly. "What d'you do, sneak up here in the evenings to watch the Prefects take baths?" "Sometimes," said Myrtle, rather slyly, "but I've never come out to speak to anyone before."

When Lockhart couldn't control himself:

"Whoops—my wand is a little overexcited—"

When Hagrid met someone greater than him:

"She's somethin' when she's roused, Olympe...fiery, you know...'spect it's the French in her..."

When Dudley heard what Harry was doing in bed:

"Not this brave at night, are you?" sneered Dudley. "This is night, Diddykins. That's what we call it when it goes all dark like this." "I mean when you're in bed!" Dudley snarled.

When Harry really couldn't sleep:

"I heard you last night," said Dudley breathlessly. "Talking in your sleep. Moaning."

When Harry was a bad boy:

“What did he do to you, Diddy?” Aunt Petunia said in a quavering voice, now sponging sick from the front of Dudley’s leather jacket. “Was it—was it you-know-what, darling? Did he use—his thing?”

When James was a bad boy:

But whether James really did take off Snape's pants, Harry never found out.

When Harry made a girl wet:

“Well?" Ron said finally, looking up at Harry. "How was it?" Harry considered it for a moment. "Wet," he said truthfully.

When this word was not necessary:

“Snape!” ejaculated Slughorn, who looked the most shaken, pale and sweating.”

When Fleur needed some practice with her tongue:

"Remember old Fleur Delacour?" said George. "She's got a job at Gringotts to eemprove 'er Eeenglish —" "— and Bill's been giving her a lot of private lessons," sniggered Fred.

When Hermione's cat got her tongue:

"What's happened to you?" asked Harry, for Hermione looked distinctly disheveled, rather as though she had just fought her way out of a thicket of Devil's Snare. "Oh, I've just escaped — I mean, I've just left Cormac," she said. "Under the mistletoe," she added in explanation, as Harry continued to look questioningly at her.

When everyone got to see what Harry really feels like:

He watched as his six doppelgangers rummaged in the sacks, pulling out sets of clothes, putting on glasses, stuffing their own things away. He felt like asking them to show a little more respect for his privacy as they all began stripping off with impunity, clearly much more at ease with displaying his body than they would have been with their own. “I knew Ginny was lying about that tattoo,” said Ron, looking down at his bare chest.

When Cedric took good care of his wand:

"Twelve and a quarter inches . . . ash . . . pleasantly springy. It’s in fine condition... You treat it regularly?” “Polished it last night,” said Cedric, grinning.

When Ginny saw Harry naked:

"Yes, my tiara sets off the whole thing nicely,” said Auntie Muriel in a rather carrying whisper. “But I must say, Ginevra’s dress is far too low cut.” Ginny glanced around, grinning, winked at Harry, then quickly faced the front again. Harry’s mind wandered a long way from the marquee, back to afternoons spent alone with Ginny in lonely parts of the school grounds.

When Harry found out about closeted teachers:

He pushed the door ajar and peered inside–and what a horrible scene met his eyes. Snape and Filch were inside, alone. Snape was holding his robes above his knees.

When Ginny had something to offer:

"So then I thought, I’d like you to have something to remember me by, you know, if you meet some veela when you’re off doing whatever you’re doing.” “I think dating opportunities are going to be pretty thin on the ground, to be honest.” “There’s the silver lining I’ve been looking for,” she whispered, and then she was kissing him as she had never kissed him before, and Harry was kissing her back, and it was blissful oblivion, better than firewhisky; she was the only real thing in the world, Ginny, the feel of her, one hand at her back and one in her long, sweetsmelling hair — The door banged open behind them and they jumped apart.

When size didn't matter:

“Yeah, size is no guarantee of power,” said George. “Look at Ginny.” “What do you mean?” said Harry. “You’ve never been on the receiving end… have you?”

When Snape had some private classes to offer:

“I will attempt to penetrate, you will attempt to resist. Prepare yourself!”

When those private classes got worse:

"He was on all fours again on Snape’s office floor." “Well, we’ll soon find out, won’t we?” said Snape smoothly. “Wand out, Potter.” Harry moved into his usual position… Snape eyed Harry, tracing his mouth with one long, thin finger as he did so.

When Neville couldn't sleep:

Harry didn’t sleep all night. He could hear Neville sobbing into his pillow for what seemed like hours.

When Ron finally wanted to learn something:

"This isn't your average book," said Ron. "It's pure gold: Twelve Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches. Explains everything you need to know about girls. If only I'd had this last year I'd have known exactly how to get rid of Lavender and I would've known how to get going with... Well, Fred and George gave me a copy, and I've learned a lot. You'd be surprised, it's not all about wandwork, either."

When Hermione was right about them:

Wands are only as powerful as the wizards who use them. Some wizards just like to boast that theirs are bigger and better than other people's.

In the Harry Potter Movie Series:

The movies were a little more permissive as their audience grew up and the monsters became more terrifying. The kisses felt more real as we saw them and fell even more in love with the characters. But we also lost a lot of sexual innuendos, mostly since Ginny had become a boring character instead of a girl who knew what she wanted and what to do to get it.

But we will always remember Ron's vision in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows when he tried to destroy the horcrux in the forest; his best friend Harry was passionately kissing the woman he loved, Hermione, and it was the first time that we ever saw two characters naked. Warner Bros. never went that far in the Harry Potter series and many people who never read the book were surprised by this scene.

But let's not forget that characters grow up and sexual tension has to be part of their dream, or in this case, their nightmares. Emma Watson even explained that "Harry Potter is not Twilight." They have been building this moment for eight movies. "We're not selling sex." Moreover, they never portrayed sex as something good, but as an irresistible desire that people need to resist to if they don't want it to be part of their worst nightmares.

That didn't stop the filmmakers from adding some sexual innuendos here and there to turn this artwork into something more entertaining for adults:

Let's not forget about this deleted scene:

Or the lesser-known balls that are too big:

'Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1'

Via The Independent

Or some people having fun on the Marauder's Map:

'Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban'—Credits

Potterheads will never stop looking for something more mature in their favorite book series, and we are not only talking about the crazy fan fiction whereHarry Potter turns into an erotic novel. Fans have been making up pick-up lines inspired by their favorite wizards like: "Is this seat taken or do you mind if I Slytherin?", "Is that a wand in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?" and "I’d like to get my basilisk into your chamber of secrets." Then we got those who switched the words "wand" with "penis" to end up with quotes from the book like:

“‘Your penis, Lucius. I require your penis.' Voldemort drew out his own penis and compared the lengths."
"Draco’s sleek, black penis. Identical to his father’s penis as far as Harry could remember."
"‘Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany penis. Eleven inches.'"

It just goes to show that we see the book series in a whole different way now that we are grown-ups—or maybe just perverts. Sexuality is just part of growing up, and fans all around the world already showed that they want to get a little more lucky with the more mature Fantastic Beasts series. Do you want to read more about sex at Hogwarts? Make sure you read Harry Potter: How Sex Would Be in the Wizarding World. Or, if you have been wondering where it was during all this time, you'll like to read Harry Potter: Where Was the Sex at Hogwarts. See you next time!

Charlotte Poitras
Charlotte Poitras
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