10 Comedian One Liners That Will Make You Laugh and Then Go Woah

Comedy is a vehicle for truth. Under the guise of a joke, jesters would lampoon their monarchs without fear of becoming one head shorter.

As Oscar Wilde said: “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they’ll kill you.”

Today, political cartoons and satire spear the heart of the establishment and distil public sentiment more than any angry rant or analytical paper ever could.

With these heavy words in mind, here are 10 jokes by latter-day comics who really are saying something wider. Silly, farcical jokes perhaps, jokes that will make you laugh and then make you go woah.

They’re all good points, they’re all good jokes. Let’s take a look.

1) Mitch Hedberg

My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. I don’t really know what’s happening down there. Who is the real hero?

Wait, how do belts actually work, then? The wonder of Mitch's comedy is he makes you say "oh shit, yeah..." far too frequently for it not to be wisdom.

2) George Carlin

Some people think of the glass as half full; some people think of the glass as half empty; I think of the glass as too big.

Reframing an old adage and turning things on their head was always Carlin’s speciality. He raged, he was political, but he was also a modern-day philosopher. And he was Rufus in Bill & Ted.

3) Chris Rock

Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. Because if a bullet cost five thousand dollars, we wouldn’t have any innocent bystanders.

I mean, he’s right, right? It reminds me of an Eddie Izzard joke (more on him later) which said: “Guns don’t kill people, bullets do.”

4) Bill Hicks

If you don’t think drugs have done good things for us, then take all of your records, tapes and CDs and burn them.

Art is often fuelled by narcotics. Some of the greatest art, in fact; LSD, opiates, weed, the bottle. Megadeth founder Dave Mustaine was so convinced he needed to take drugs to be great, he started a heroin habit to emulate his idols; now that’s dedication to the cause.

5) Ricky Gervais

Mondays are fine. It’s your life that sucks.

In your face, Garfield. More profound than funny, it reminds me of a Louis CK joke where we said “Stop saying your phone sucks. Your phone doesn’t suck, your life around the phone sucks.” All anger is, after all, self-anger.

6) Eddie Izzard

Charles Darwin wrote a famous book. And that book was an interesting book, because it was called ‘Monkey-Monkey-Monkey-Monkey-Monkey-Monkey-You’

Evolution is mind-bending when you get down to it, the fact we all came from a common ancestor seems almost unbelievable. Monkey-monkey-monkey-you isn’t 100% scientifically accurate but it sure boils the marvels of evolution down to their profound conclusions.

7) Billy Connolly

I hate all those weathermen, too, who tell you that rain is bad weather. There’s no such thing as bad weather, just the wrong clothing, so get yourself a sexy raincoat and live a little.

“It’s funny cos it’s true” sure applies here. Weathermen (and women) spend years presenting all types of weather, yet always apologise if there’s anything but sun. In the words of Half Man Half Biscuit “I quite like a bit of drizzle, so stick to the facts.”

8) Lee Evans

‘Car thieves operate in this area’. Where else would they operate? Its a car park! The number of times I’ve been driving through the country, see a couple of car thieves standing in a field saying, ‘You said there’d be cars!’

Where else would you get car thieves but around cars? It’s like putting a sign at the end of every street saying “If you have a house there is a slim chance it will attract a house burglar, so don't buy one."

9) Bill Burr

You know what a cubicle basically says? It basically says, like, ‘You know what? We don’t think you’re smart enough for an office, but we don’t want you to look at anybody.’

Ah, the corporate world, where everyone is treated equally: Like shit. Society plays a game where we pretend corporations are friendly, caring entities, when of course they’re profit-driven, faceless machines and we are their cogs. Always nice when a comic points this out to the masses.

10) Dave Chappell

Every group of brothers should have at least one white guy in it. I'm serious for safety, cuz when the shit goes down someone is gonna need to talk to the police.

Seems somewhat poignant during these tense times in America. Dave Chappell has been speaking humorously, but with devastating truth, about race, gender, sexuality and discrimination for years. Keep on keeping on, Dave.

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