What do you Play?

I'm not one for labels. I've always liked what I've liked, and gone with the flow. But, if someone who calls themselves a gamer asks if I'm a gamer. Of course I'm going to say yes! It's pretty much an invitation to gossip about games with them. But the dreaded question of "What do you play?" gets me every time.

I am a gamer. I'm also a girl.

I don't go around telling people I'm a gamer. I'm hesitant when acknowledging that it's one of my hobbies. Unfortunately, that's mainly because I am a girl, and because there are many undesirable stereotypes about girl gamers that I'd rather not be punished for. Even just saying "girl gamer" makes me cringe. The label has been so butchered by social media, that it is a small trend now on TikTok to portray what people think girl gamers are vs what they really are: that we are not all pink kittens who like to UWU in your ear, and that most of us are normal, tired people in our PJs, eating chips. The term has been so sexualized that girls who confess to gaming have to defend the fact that they don't do it for anything else but their own enjoyment.

No, Brad. I'm sorry, but I don't dress up to play Skyrim. (Well, at least not in the way you'd want me to).

Furthermore, we shouldn't have to specify that we are female, and yet, if my subtitle was "As a Gamer" instead of "As a Girl Gamer", you, the reader, would not have the same idea of what this post would be about. We have to specify our gender identity so that we can express our exclusive experiences, not only as gamers, but as "girl gamers". It's sad how invalidated some of us feel that we aren't even comfortable in gaming communities and game stores, because we have to constantly prove ourselves to the people around us.

Stop blabbering... "What do you play?"

Now that's the question. I play a lot of different games. I have a PS4 Pro, a 3DS XL, and I even built my own PC. Nevertheless, whatever game I say first, will determine how this other gamer (let's call him Brad) will perceive me. See, there are roughly two categories of games. There are "lame games" that are usually associated with the girls, and then there are all the other games. I play Sims 4, but that is in the "lame game" category. Brad already realizes that I'm a girl, and if I start off with "lame games" he is immediately uninterested and mentally invalidates me as a gamer.

Ok, pause. True, I shouldn't care what Brad thinks. However, even though his name is Brad, I really want to talk to him about games. I'm not looking for a friendship or a happily ever after. I just want to be able to share my interest with someone, so it's up to me to bring Brad to my level.

If I say Minecraft, that doesn't show my skill level; everybody plays Minecraft. If I say Overwatch he's going to assume the only character I play is Mercy (which in not untrue). If I say Stardew Valley, Among Us, Little Nightmares or Fran Bow, he'd say they weren't real games. If I say Impatient, he'd look at me funny, because he can't even take a horror movie, let alone a horror game (in VR). If I say I play CSGO, I'd be lying. And if I say I play Elder Scrolls Online, he probably wouldn't know what I was talking about, because all Brad plays is Call of Duty, Grand Theft Auto and FIFA. I play all excluding one of the previous games listed and more; and all Brad shuffles through is three different franchises. He's the "real gamer"?

The few games I have under my belt that can be seen as acceptable in Brad's eyes are God of War, Skyrim, Red Dead Redemption and Horizon: Zero Dawn. Although, whenever I say Horizon, Brad always assume Forza Horizon (the racecar game). He get's excited about that until I have to let him down with the truth. If I cared enough I wouldn't tell people I play Horizon, but it is literally my favorite game. I'm willing to confuse the odd Brad in order to, on the off day, run into one of those other gamers who will share the same love for it as I.

There are other girl gamers you know...

Yes, I realize Brad represents mainly boy gamers. But funny enough, other girl gamers don't tend to announce to the world that they play games either. So, neither of us ever realize it. It's kind of funny, but more sad. I'd love to have more girlfriends who game, but those gems are hard to find. Not because they don't exist, as it's been made clear, but because they don't have the luxury to express it free of judgement from others. My boyfriend seriously only plays Witcher III and Crusader Kings II and he's not embarrassed of that. So, why should we be? We aren't fakes just because Brad said so, and those "lame games" aren't lame; Brad just doesn't know how to play them.