Press Start: A Family Story

Author’s note: My family’s gaming time has been made possible thanks to the generosity of friends and family who have been kind enough to gift us various electronics and gaming devices. I wanted to acknowledge that kindness before sharing our story. 

At the risk of sounding like a cliche, my family isn’t your typical family. Our house is always full of love and laughter. We are also a family that games. Most evenings, you can walk into any room in our apartment, and you will more than likely hear the sounds of controllers clicking before any talking. Kids are cheering as they finally beat a boss they have been trying to defeat for what seems like ages. The joyful noise of children and parents joking and playing as they work as teams. 

 I know some people may not agree with the way we are raising our family, but I have seen so much growth from within. I believe this growth is mainly due to the way my family will use video games as tools to help them advance in life. It might sound crazy, but that is my reality. 

My husband’s and my schedules are the opposite of each other. I work the night shift, and he works the day shift. For that reason, our teenagers watch our five-year-old during the day. 

Imagine waking up from a deep sleep. Knowing your teens are the ones taking care of the youngest of the family, you would naturally want to make sure things are okay. Instead of arguing and fighting, the teens have pulled out their gaming systems as well as their televisions. They are all set up and bonding, playing some sort of game together. Normally, it’s Fortnite or Minecraft. Most parents may get upset at their children for moving their T.V.’s or gaming systems around and definitely for moving the furniture around. We believe that as long as everyone is getting along, no one's safety is at risk, and no one is hurt, then moving furniture so they can all play a round or two of whatever game is on, together. Instead of yelling and screaming at each other, there is excited chatter coming from my living room. 

There are times we would love to have a date night, but having schedules opposite of each other makes that very hard. The teenagers watch the youngest enough that we don’t want them to be the ones completely raising him. If we want to have a date night, most of the time that involves my husband cooking some steak for dinner and us both hopping on Diablo 4, so that we can do Helltides or try to finish the most recent season. We are also able to help each other when the other one is struggling. Another thing we are very guilty of? Power leveling. We love to power level each other. Especially when one of our schedules has more free time than the others. Our marriage is about more than just loving each other; it’s about liking one another and being able to spend quality time together. 

One thing that really surprised me about allowing the kids nearly full access to the electronics (within reason, of course) was seeing my youngest learn things that I knew I hadn’t taught him yet. This wasn’t only because of his playing video games, but also because he had a tablet with a variety of learning activities. Many of those learning activities were games. His doctor was even surprised when we brought him in at a very young age, and he was able to name shapes, numbers, letters, and colors. 

As I am writing this, I look over to my left. My five-year-old is jumping in excitement as he is for maybe the 50th time, defeating Margit, the Fell Omen, in Elden Ring. I was genuinely amazed the first time he did this. I, however, quickly found out that he was using a tablet or another device to watch a YouTube tutorial on how to defeat the boss. The fact that he could correctly follow the tutorial and even knew how to look one up blew me away. 

My husband and I may still have ups and downs, but I do feel like we aren’t your average family. We rarely fight or argue. Learning to take our anger out in video games before having a conversation has been a very important tool for us. This gaming period allows us to cool down a bit and think before speaking in anger. It is always important to us to at least try to have a conversation later. Many times, a conversation isn’t needed after, because whatever we were arguing about was so small that the argument wasn’t needed. Letting off some steam was all we needed. 

Some men and women will come home and open a beer. Others come home and watch T.V. or put much of their time and energy into other sports or activities. We are in the living room, playing Diablo 4. 

Although I am guilty of skipping a cut scene here and there, many of the video games these days have so much depth to them, I feel playing them is helping open up the imagination of the person playing, kid or adult. 

These worlds are so extravagant that they seem to go on forever. Video gaming also provides a sort of entertainment that they are participating in. They aren’t just watching a movie or TV show; they are actively participating in something and using the skills they have to problem-solve in fun ways 

Now, I am not saying it's all roses, and everyone always has a smile on their face. There are times we see the anger at the games take over. This is where we implement a cool-down period. The length of this consequence depends on the actions taken after the game is taken away. Another thing is that because the video games are so loved in our family, the first privilege that is revoked is internet/gaming time. Many times when the games upset the kids, they find other ways to chill out. For the teens that is going for a walk and for the youngest, it is jumping on their trampoline for a bit. 

As a family, we do have other experiences that enrich our lives. My daughter loves music and can play almost any instrument she picks up, my oldest son likes to play Magic: The Gathering with his dad, and my youngest and I do all sorts of in-home science experiments and baking. We know there is more to life than beating the final boss in a video game, but our family still enjoys the conversation and joy that we get when it finally happens.