Hopping off the Battle Bus

Whether you're aware of it or not, Fortnite is the biggest game in the world right now, and why shouldn't it be? Its cartoony graphics and competitive player versus player gameplay make it appealing for many gamers the world over, plus it's free, which always helps! No wonder it's number one on Twitch right now as well as spawning countless gameplay videos on YouTube.

With that being said, I just can't get into it.

Now, before I explain why, let me just say that I don't hate Fortnite. I can see why it's popular and I don't think it's a terrible game. The experience, however, left a sour taste in my mouth. It didn't help that I had an awful time with trying to get the customer service department of Epic Games to sort an account issue out before I had even started but that's another story.

When I first booted up Fortnite on my PlayStation 4 and got through to the lobby, I was somewhat excited. This was the big trending thing right now and I was getting to play it! I hopped on the Battle Bus eager to free fall into the fray, deciding to drop off at a small settlement to get a better chance of grabbing some protection. Looking around, "there's nothing here". I ran to some suspicious looking crates and pickaxed them open. Wood. Great.

Right, nevermind, I told myself. I'll venture nearby and see if there's anything around the local area. Off I ran. "Where the heck is everyone?" 100 people dropped into this map and there was no sign of any players. Guess I had it easier than I thought. Another small settlement comes into view, "let's look there". Nothing, again. Apart from wood. "This is getting stupid."

Just my luck. On the third settlement, I find a shotgun. OK, now we're getting somewhere. So off I run into the wilderness, still can't see anyone...meanwhile, the remaining player tally is ticking down. I run to a cliff face, deciding to try and be tactical, I start scaling the rocks and get into a better position. Scouting the area, I spot a small, black speck. Holy hand grenades, a player! Armed with my shotgun, I make efforts to intercept...

"BLAM! You were killed by...whoever it was. You finished not in any considerable place."

I felt that excitement wash away as my hands dropped to my side clutching the controller. My only option: exit to lobby.

That was it? This is what I had been waiting for for over a month? No no, I'll give it the benefit of the doubt. Maybe I just had bad luck. Yeah, that was it. So I enter another game with a more reserved outlook.

Dropped off the Battle Bus...BLAM. Are you kidding me? Back to lobby I went. Right, one more time. That third time was not the charm. I ended up in a deserted town and was taken down by a sniper.

Needless to say, I didn't even look at the game for another few weeks until I reluctantly booted it up again just to see whether I was being bitter or not. Turns out I wasn't. I spent ten minutes sat in a bush, found some building material in a mine, then was taken down by a gentleman who had created art with wooden ramps.

Herein lies my problem with this game, there is so much buildup for nothing. The game might be free to play, but you won't get anything more than a pickaxe to start with and any rewards you somehow manage to earn are locked behind a £7.99 paywall lovingly called a "Season Pass." You spend a good 20-30 minutes jumping across nothing (so much so I started calling it Jumping Simulator) to get any effort wiped out in one foul swoop without any chance of retaliation. What makes it worse is that there is no respawn, no chance of redemption. You die and you get thrown out of the match, be it two minutes in or 20 minutes in. There is no carrot, there is all stick.

I know this isn't just Fortnite and games like PlayerUnknown's Battlegrounds suffer the same problems, but I actually enjoyed PUBG as it felt more balanced and less like a waste of time (FYI: I don't play PUBG anymore due to time constraints but if I could, I would). Again, I don't hate Fortnite but I don't plan on hopping back on the Battle Bus any time soon.

Wood/10 is my final score. Don't @ me.