The 10 Worst Types of 9–1–1 Callers

“Quick! What’s the number for 911?!”

It’s a joke often made, but I honestly wouldn’t doubt if some of the callers I had in the past actually had to ask before calling. In the world of 9–1–1 dispatching, you talk to all types of people, from all different walks of life. It really makes you become a more well-rounded person, and sometimes it causes the need for therapy. Why? Mostly because of the types of callers listed here:

The “I Don’t Want to Get Involved” Person

There are definitely times that you may not want to give your name while calling for help for someone else. For example, if your neighbors are having a domestic dispute and you feel that the police need to intervene, you may not want everyone in the neighborhood to know that you are the one who called.

It may be due to the possibility of being ostracized from the community or fear of retaliation from the parties involved. Understandable.

I ain’t no snitch!

However, there are instances in which whoever witnessed the incident will need to make a statement in order for the police to investigate the crime. If you actually saw a man strike his wife in the face, but there were no marks left, you may be needed to state that you saw it happen. Otherwise, it’s her word against his. No one wants you to put yourself needlessly in danger, but wouldn’t you want someone to stand up for you if you needed it?

The “I Don’t Know ” Person

These callers sound like Supa Dupa Humble in Steppin’ when asked information:

What did the suspect look like?

“I don’t know.”

What did he take from the store?

“I don’t know.”

Did you see him take the item?

“I don’t know.”

Well, then how in the hell do you justify dialing 911 to report a shoplifting, and better yet, how do you expect us to find the suspect?

We find that this type of caller mostly just doesn’t want to use the energy to actually answer the questions. I instructed my trainees to actually break down questioning when they have that type of response.

Sir, what did the suspect look like?

“I don’t know.”

Was it a man or a woman?

“Man.”

What was his race?

“White.”

What color shirt did he have on?

“Red.”

I don’t really know why it worked, but it typically did. Maybe they realized that we weren’t going to give up until we got the information needed.

The Extended Time Lapse Person

I once had a woman call 911 to report a possible child abduction that she witnessed SIX hours before she called. No joke. She saw what she thought was a child being physically kidnapped and waited six freaking hours to call the police.

When I asked why she waited so long, she said,

“Well, I wasn’t sure that was what was happening. Stuff like that doesn’t happen here.”

She then had to tell her husband, children, best friend, pastor, cousin, sister’s husband’s best friend’s wife, and who knows who else before deciding to call the police. Luckily, there was not a child abduction.

If you wait multiple hours to call in something that has already happened and you are no longer in any danger, do not call 911, as it is for emergencies only. If you or someone else is in danger, do NOT wait to dial 911. It doesn’t matter if you are late for work, got to pick up your kids, or need to get home to make dinner (all excuses I’ve heard). None of that is more important than helping someone in a life or death situation. Even if you aren’t sure that a crime is taking place, call anyway!

The Screamer

Dear God in Heaven. I used to leave work continuously with a headache, just from people screaming in my ear. Don’t get me wrong, a lot of them were dire emergencies that I didn’t blame the caller for screaming one bit. There were days that I wanted to scream with them. However, if you are a person who calls 911 just to scream at them to “get the police here!” without even telling them where HERE is, just stop. STOP.

I understand that people react to stressful situations differently, and we were trained to calm people down so that we could gather information from them. You always have those few though that just want to scream and yell “Get the mo**** fu***** police here! Well sugar pie, honey bunch, if I don’t know where you are, how in the hell can I send anyone to you? Just think about it. That’s all I ask.

The Law Enforcement Caller

We always joked that officers made the worst callers, and unfortunately *whispers*, it’s true. An officer who knows how we operate and what information responding officers would need was usually very helpful. However, it’s the ones who used to be an officer 30 years ago or the one who is an officer at an agency across the country that was always a thorn in our sides.

Laws and operations continuously change, so sorry Officer Blahblahblah who worked here 30 years ago, we can’t just kick a door in because we smell weed in a house. Laws and operations are also different from state to state, which makes it very confusing for everyone involved.

I once had a deputy from another state, who had no clue what state he was even in (boo on you, sir deputy) and wanted me to just “map” him. He assumed that since his agency had the latest and greatest technology that could auto-locate a cell phone, that we could to at the time. Sorry, we were po-dunk, but smaller agencies still have a lot of catching up to do.

The “Don’t You Know Who I Am?” Caller

Ugh. I would literally rather talk to Blowin’ Joe, the local crackhead down the street than Mrs. John Smith who resides in the Country Club next to the green. At least Joe ain’t calling for stupid stuff and understands the word “no”. I can’t tell you how many times we have had callers that thought the rules didn’t apply to them and actually said the cliche phrase “Oh, you must not know who I am.” I always wanted to reply with “Yes, Margaret, I know who you are, the problem is that I don’t give a shit.”

I always loved very tactfully explaining to a citizen of “noble birth”, as so many saw themselves, that we were unable to do _________ because it violated policy, to be met with “Well, I’m friends with the mayor/chief/city council/Kid Rock.” I don’t care if you’re the First Lady, it still violates policy, which I can be FINED and IMPRISONED for violating.

I finally got to the point when they said, “Fine then, I’ll just call the Chief,” that I’d say “Ok, cool, tell him I said hi and that we need new headsets.”

The “Well, This Isn’t An Emergency, But…” Caller

Then why in all that is holy are you calling the EMERGENCY number?? The most common excuse was “I didn’t know the non-emergency number.” And what are you calling me from? If it’s a smartphone, then that is an invalid excuse sir, as most everyone in the modern world has heard of Google. There are exigent circumstances, so we often let this one slide.

The ones I did not let slide were the ones asking for the local college football scores, power outage statuses, phone numbers for local businesses, and my personal favorite, the weather report. So there’s that.

The Racist Caller

Sadly, this was a daily occurrence. You really got a feel for just how racist people were when you worked in a 911 center, as well as just how much it wanted to make you lose your shit.

It usually started off innocent enough, but it didn’t take long to realize the real reason for the caller’s report.

“Yes, I’d like to report a suspicious person in my neighborhood.”

Ok, where is this?

“It’s in the UppittyDo Subdivision off of BetterThanYou Road.”

Ok, what does the person look like?

“Umm…it’s a black guy wearing clothes.”

What is he doing that suspicious?

“He’s walking down the street.”

Is he hindering traffic, threatening anyone, or causing any disturbance? Could he possibly have a broken-down vehicle and need assistance?

“No, he’s just walking.”

Ok, why do you feel that’s suspicious?”

“Well, he doesn’t live over here, so he shouldn’t be walking down the street.”

How do you know he doesn’t live in the subdivision?

*Mumbles something*

What’s that ma’am?

“Because he’s black. No black families live here.”

Ohhhhh… *realizing that she just wants an officer to get out with a black man for walking in a white neighborhood*

Ok ma’am, we will send someone to talk to him. Would you like to speak with the responding officer?

“Oh no. No, no no. Please don’t give out my name.”

The “I Refuse to Tell You Anything, Just Get Them Here” Caller

Some people just want to be difficult. It could be because they had a negative experience with 911 before, they don’t like the police, or they just want to feel in control. 911 operators are trained to take control of the call to get as much information as quickly as possible and help to calm the caller. Sometimes, the caller just wasn’t having it.

I had a caller one time that after she told me about a fight taking place and the street name, decided that’s all I needed to know. She would say “Just gettem here” after every question.

How many people are involved?

“Just gettem here.”

Does anyone have any weapons?

“Just gettem here.”

Is anyone hurt that might need medical attention?

“Just gettem here.”

I couldn’t wrap my head around how someone could just be so blatantly well, stupid. To any reasonable and prudent person, the questions above seem relevant, right? Why would I ask them if the information wasn’t needed?

This person decided that the incident warranted a 911 call and a police response but then decided to just be a jackass and refuse any other information. Luckily, I had another caller report the same incident and was forthcoming with information, so I got to hang up on the douchecanoe.

The “Here’s What You Are Going To Do” Caller

Don’t we all love being told how to do our jobs by people who have no idea what our job entails? I love the people that would “explain” to me what needed to happen to solve their problem. Maybe, if you were so good at solving your own problem, you wouldn’t need to call us? Just a thought.

Anyway, we had policies in place for a reason. I learned that the average citizen does not like the word “policy” if it goes against what they want to happen. For example, if we sent an ambulance to a medical call, we automatically dispatched our fire department as well. The majority of our firefighters were also medically trained and typically got to the scene much faster, as they were centrally located.

There were several instances where citizens “ordered” me not to send the ambulance company or the fire department with the other responder. “I don’t need all that.” Oh, so you’re a doctor? That’s cool. Wait, you’re not? Then they are both coming, per our policy.

I also loved when people would become disorderly when they found out that police were responding with medical personnel. If you call and say that someone has been stabbed, that is a medical issue and a CRIME, so yeah, police are coming too.

9–1–1, Where is Your Emergency?

Please understand that the majority of callers were good people who were cooperative and provided us with as much information as they could give. Sometimes, people became disgruntled or upset, simply because they didn’t understand how the process worked. And that’s ok. Once we explained it to them, they often calmed down.

If I had a caller that asked “Why are you wasting time asking these questions instead of getting someone on the way?”, I would explain to them that responders have already been dispatched to their location by my partner. At this point, I was getting more information about the incident so that they could help more efficiently when they arrived, as well as keeping the caller on the line in case something changed.

Once this was explained to the caller, just knowing that help was actually on the way often calmed them down immensely.

Most 911 call centers employ trained personnel who are doing their best to help you. Try to answer their questions as thoroughly as you can and remain on the line if they request that you do so. Also remember, that you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, so it pays to be nice when you can be.