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Stupid Shit White People Say

Now, I would like to start this out by saying, I am by no means racist. I am a Caucasian female, with a daughter that is half African American. So, with that being said, please do not get hung up on the fact that the title says "white people". It is a joke, for those off you with a "stick up your ass!" (Lol.. See these phrases are everywhere!) Anyways, those of you that are sensitive, keep in mind this is all in good fun. However, it is partially serious, and after you read all twenty it will register. Pssst. ( You will never hear any of this stuff leaving a black mans mouth. It is almost comical to think anout. LOL) "Anywho", (haha) if this is well liked/ I get some followers or likes, I will do another twenty, and so on, and so forth. "Rinse & Repeat." HAHHA. Don't by shy to leave your feedback, or phrases. At some point I think I'm going to work on, "Stupid Games White People Play". Umm White Elephant? Come on guys.. Secret Santa? Pfffftttt.. (Spits out coffee!) Anyways, ENJOY :)

By Kayla LaFleur- MosierPublished 2 years ago 3 min read
This is strictly if your in the mood to laugh a little more after this post LOL :

15 Stupid Things That You Will Only Catch White People Saying:

1.) Okie Dokie Artichoke. (Sadly, my computer did not even try to auto spell correct, "Okie Dokie.")

What does it mean? A long, roundabout, way of saying OKAY.

2.) See you later alligator.

What does it mean?: It means goodbye, typically when one another will be seeing each other later that day.

3.) After awhile crocodile.

What does it mean?: A witty response to number two.

4.) Well! Slap my ass and call me Sally!

What does it mean? The person speaking is not at all named Sally, nor do they want their ass slapped. It is a way of expressing extreme shock or excitement. IE: "Jill, did you hear that Carrie was fired on Friday!? " "Well, slap my ass and call me Sally! I had no idea!"

5.) High Five! Nope! Too slow Joe!

What does it mean? When someone (typically the initiator of the high five) pulls back and tricks the unsuspecting high five-e into high fiving the air, instead of their buddy just a few feet in front of them.

6.) Well! I'll be a monkeys uncle!

What does it mean? The expression is used to emphasize amazement/ disbelief. It is derived from Charles Darwin's theory of evolution, and began as a sarcastic remark. Well it actually to this day remains a sarcastic response to something that seems "out there" or "outlandish".

7.) JINX!!! You owe me a soda!

What does it mean? The idea is that if two people say something at the same exact time, for instance, "WOW!" Then the two people are to race to say the word, "JINX", and whoever blurts it out first typically mentions being owed a carbonated beverage. I know that there has been talk of spiritual cursing, and so on when it comes to the whole jinx thing. But that is just a matter of superstition and if you believe in that, more power to you. I just personally do not choose to believe in that stuff. I am stressed out enough as it is with the stuff that I can, see, touch, hear, and smell.

8.) Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire!

What does it mean? The phrase is an accusation that someone is being dishonest. This one is derived from a playground and the idea behind it is as follows, someone is lying, are they going to want to run through the playground (or wherever) and draw that attention to themselves by wearing pants that are on fire? No! of course not! I don't care how hot the pants look on them! LOL :)

9.) Sticks and Stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me.

What does it mean? Basically, I'm a tough guy. There is nothing that you could possibly say to inflict any harm on me emotionally. The only pain that I feel is physical.

10.) Wakey, Wakey, Booty Shaky :)

What does it mean? It is morning time, and time to rise and shine. And, that person's significant other is just to cute to handle and wakes there partner up for the day totally adorable.

11.) I've got DIBS!

What does it mean? Claiming ownership over something verbally. and once someone has dibs, whatever it is belongs to them. If someone goes against that.... they are asking for it.

12.) Sit criss-cross applesauce.

What does it mean? Criss cross applesauce replaced the name "Indian Style " sitting, awhile back. Which is much more politically correct. However, we couldn't come up with a better name than that? Criss cross applesauce is the sitting position where the child's bottom is planted underneath there feet and if you look it forms the letter "W".

13.) Well, I didn't mean to rain on your parade.

What does it mean? The act of ruining someone's time or more-so there good mood. It would be considered raining on someone's parade if they were talking about what a great morning they had and how it would have been perfect if the gross breakfast wasn't included. Especially if that person has already voiced that they thought that said breakfast was phenomenal.

14.) Whoopsie Daisey

What does it mean? Something has happened by total accident and the person would like to let everyone know that they made a little "Oopsie", Which is a start...Yes!

15.) What's the damage?

What does it mean? Typically refers to how much something costs, especially when dining out and receiving the check.

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Kayla LaFleur- Mosier

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