'Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Peace'

Let me take a moment to set the scene. Picture this; the year is 2010, I am driving in my car listening to Taylor Swift’s newest album. Speak now, the song for which the album was named, plays at full volume while I speed down the road. The song tells the story of the narrator sneaking into her ex-boyfriend's wedding. Clearly, she is remorseful for ending the relationship and jealous of the bride-to-be. She stays hidden in the shadows, criticizing the other woman, and waits for the perfect moment to confess her love for the groom.

Speak Now- Taylor Swift

I hear the preacher say speak now or forever hold your peace

There's the silence, there's my last chance

I stand up with shaky hands, all eyes on me

Horrified looks from everyone in the room

But I'm only looking at you

After she ruins this poor girl’s wedding day, the narrator rides off into the sunset with the love of her life. A happy ending for all. Well everyone accepts the bride, the bride's entire family and whoever paid for the wedding. It’s a good song but it got me thinking.

Who, in one’s right mind, would allow a moment in their wedding, for people to give any reason as to why it should not happen? I looked into it a bit and here is what I found out.

The token wedding phrase is rooted in both Christianity and European customs. The full phrase is something like, “If anyone here knows of any reason why this couple should not be joined in holy matrimony, please speak now or forever hold your peace.” This was said, because the priest actually wanted to know if it was alright for him to go on with having the couple married in the eyes of the church. Apparently, the religion has specific reasons why someone might not be able to marry another, and if the church finds out that you don’t fit the description they won’t let you get married. Specifically, if that person is say….already married. Or unbaptized. It was also considered unacceptable to marry people who are related.

The issue that they ran into, back in the olden days, is that you couldn’t just post your engagement on Instagram to share the word. They had to send out flyers or messenger pigeons.

Alright, I don’t know if that last part is true, but it was medieval times so possibly. They did, however, post it to a bulletin at the church as a way to spread the news. This was so that everyone in the town knew and could spread the word to other towns, with the intention of bringing forth anyone who could reasonably oppose the marriage.

So here is a scenario:

A woman lives in a small village in nowheres-ville. She is married to a man who abuses her horribly, because that was an accepted thing back then, and she decides to make a run for it. She finds herself in a new town, falls in love, and attempts to be married to this new guy. Seeing as she is still married to husband #1, she can not in the eyes of the church marry another man. On the day of her wedding, when the preacher says,” Speak now,” if someone comes forward and proves her original marriage to be valid, the wedding will be called off.

So basically the phrase is a real thing with actual meaning behind it. Who knew?

I spent my whole life thinking that the point of this phrase was for the long lost love, of either the bride or groom, to ruin a wedding. That time was allotted in a wedding specifically for someone to come bursting through the church doors and pour their heart out to win over the love of their life.