Some Break And Others Survive These Ten Things

What kind of world is it that people have to survive some of the things that happen every day in the real world?

Survival. It’s the one skill you don’t develop before you need it, but rather as a result of something. Survival is a characteristic of people who have faced adversity. From an early age, survival is a challenge thrust upon many.

While it would be nicer to have a world we didn’t need to “survive”, that’s not the world we inherit. And sadly, that’s not the world we tend to leave behind. Much like those who came before Generation X, millennials and future generations were left a world they’d have to survive.

When you think about it, survival implies something not especially good for the human experience. Looking back at all the things you have survived, were they all unfortunate parts of life? Were they the loss of a loved one who died old, fulfilled, and surrounded by family? Were they accidents?

What about the less appreciable occurrences? Have you gone through them? If not, you’re fortunate. But you know someone who has. So look at their lives, and ask: what did they survive that turned them into who they are today?

• Cold

• Calculating

• Mistrusting

• Cynical

• Paranoid

• A Loner

• Brooding

• Depressed

And those are just some of the names you might attach to someone you’ve encountered. What about:

• Dark

• Eerie

• Spooky

• Scary

• Creepy

These aren’t names from a psych book, or names that came out of thin air. These are names that pop up as descriptors people use when talking about other human beings. Opposed to what I’d call some people if asked, these names carry a negative connotation.

So, what happened to them that was different than what happened to others? Because, like everybody who is given the moniker of survivor, these names are also attached to survivors.

Ten Things People Have To Survive

People survive a myriad of things. And whether we like it or not, not everybody is equipped to respond the same way. So much for all men are created equal.

When you take two men of different ages and backgrounds and put them in the same scenario, how do they differ?

Example:

Two men, a father and a son, are standing on a porch just after midnight, and they’re talking. Things are under control. The father is telling the son how worried he was about what he was told was going on.

Enter the traumatic event that they’ll have to survive. A car pulls up along the curb, and a man gets out, demanding answers about where someone is. The man pulls a gun out, points it at both of them, and threatens their lives if he doesn’t get answers.

This is an intense scenario. One of them starts thinking through the scenario; the other responds immediately. What’s the effect on both men? How did they fare after the event?

Man number one gets up the next day, goes to the store, runs errands, and lives his life. He talks to his friends. He calls man number two and checks on him.

Man number two ends up scared, anxious, and unable to leave home. His personal relationship is affected, and he can’t make himself leave the house days later to go to work.

Both men suffer the effects of the event. Both men feel the trauma of having such a violent life-and-death encounter. But it starts a cycle of issues for the younger man. The older man refused to allow himself to feel the fear and anxiety of having had a gun put in his face just days before.

Neither should have had to survive such an encounter. But the world we live in forced both to be survivors. One did better than the other, the younger one having had the older one’s example to follow his entire life.

And that’s the difference between people that is often not recognized. Because one person doing fine after a horrible event doesn’t mean another can do as well. And this is just one example.

Ugly Things People Have To Survive

Most of us know the things that people have to survive. But do we all recognize the ugliness and how it affects people going through such life events? Pretend for a moment that you’re twelve or thirteen. Now, put yourself on your bicycle, riding through your neighborhood with childhood friends.

You stumble upon a trail that looks like blood. You’re an inquisitive kid, so you follow it. And at a very young age, you find a body. Not only a body, but the body of someone you knew from your childhood neighborhood. Violence of the worst type has struck close to home.

Out of those kids riding bikes, two became drug addicts. One couldn’t erase the image of that young man lying on the ground behind a stone monument on the school grounds a block from home. And one committed suicide later in life. Such incidents in people’s lives stack up and, for some, chip away at their inner coping skills.

1. Traumatic violence

• Being exposed to traumatic violence has a lasting effect

• For many, the effects linger for many years

• Some become more violent the more they’re exposed to violence

2. Sexual Abuses

• Surviving sexual abuse is a lifetime chore

• It erodes trust in people

• It changes your views of people

3. Sexual Violence

• Rape is the ultimate violation of a human body

• Often done by people who are trusted

• Carries a stigma that lingers

4. Personal Betrayals

• Erode trust in the world

• Often the basis of cynicism and mistrust

• Affects relationships later in life

5. Death

• Loss of loved ones and friends is a painful event

• Death carries a darkness with it

• Can cause a loss of faith or meaning

6. Being victimized

• Powerlessness

• Fear

• Distrust of society

• Causes formation of biases and paranoia

7. Heartbreak

• Feelings of betrayal cause pain

• Distrust forms

• Affects future relationships

8. Job or Career losses

• Cause fear

• Loss of meaning or purpose in life

• Anxiety about security in the future

9. Serious Disease/Illness

• Forced to face mortality

• Forced to face the past

• Questioning the meaning of things

In a perfect world, we’d live, succeed, love, laugh, and we’d build lives we can be proud of. In a perfect world, someone bent on doing wrong wouldn’t be able to intervene and take it all away in the blink of an eye. But we don’t live in a perfect world.

Looking at what we experience in this life, many stressors, or triggers, can change our paths. And that is where the differences between people become more important. And why it’s important to recognize those differences.

Not everybody is created equal. Some are created with the capacity to be the next Einstein, and some are born with the likelihood of having to struggle with anxiety. And along the way, from birth forward, not everybody develops the same coping skills.

One event can forever change our lives. And there’s no way to know how we’ll respond to that event until we step into it.

So, what is number 10?

10. The ability to survive anything

• Stubborn

• Strong Willed

• Good support systems

• Emotionally centered

Survival

Survive

Survivin