I Saw The Sign, But I Closed My Eyes

I swear that every time you get to know new people--whether that be in a work, school, or other social setting--someone always brings up the Zodiac. I hear a lot of things like, "oh yeah, I'm a Cancer" or "Gemini, through and through!" But when I'm asked about my sign, I used to just mumble something about being a Scorpio.

Most of the time, I was (and still am) met with surprise, and the stereotyping took over: "Wow, I had no idea," I didn't know that about you," or "I never would've guessed!" Scorpio is encased in such a dark cloud of negative emotions that most people only think about those toxic traits, like jealousy, resentment, control, and that huge ego. And because Scorpio is the sign most associated with sex (yes, Scorpio governs the genital area), I got a lot of weird questions about that too. I sure hope you other Scorpios out there are smirking and laughing at this, because it's so true!

I still remember reading the profile of my sign for the first time. It was years ago, and granted, it probably wasn't the most credible site. But, it really freaked me out. I saw the same negative traits as above, the emotional turmoil, and the potential trouble in relationships. Quite honestly, it didn't seem like such a good outlook on my life. So, I decided to boycott my sign.

I didn't want to be that straightforward, stubborn, and controlling person, so I went the opposite and tried to be everything a Scorpio was not. While I felt like my disguise was working, I really only became passive and let people walk all over me. Even though I was miserable, my only hope was that if I was just kind and did whatever was asked of me, people would like me and I wouldn't be such a, well, "unlikeable" Scorpio.

It took years and the isolation of the COVID-19 pandemic for me to really reflect on myself as a whole person. While I may have spent years hiding it, I am a Scorpio. It's only recently that I realized I had truly misunderstood my mysterious sign.

Scorpios are known to have some deep and intense emotions, and this is where I finally began to realize my Scorpio traits. As a water sign, Scorpios are primarily emotional beings. But while we feel deeply and intensely, we Scorpios don't like to talk about our feelings and hate feeling vulnerable around others.

To the outsider (especially a sign that has no problem identifying emotion), we can come across as cold and uncaring. But that doesn't mean we don't feel. Our emotions are internal. I like to describe this as an emotional volcano, because it's always bubbling up inside and when we can't stand it any longer, it erupts and we feel out of control (which is not a good place for a Scorpio to be, as we need to feel in control).

Making friends as a Scorpio can also be a challenge. I don't know about you other Scorpios, but I've had a hard time keeping what I call "surface friends," or friends that I hang out with but don't have a deeper, personal relationship with. For the longest time, I thought there was something wrong with me because I didn't have that huge group of friends. Instead, I had a couple really close and intimate relationships. Even though I truly valued the relationships I had and still have with these individuals, I still craved that stereotypical "girl gang."

But for some reason, I never could relate to those groups. It took some reflection and understanding of Scorpio traits, but I now know that it's because I need that emotional intimacy with the people around me. I realized that there is no way I would be happy in a group of so many people because my most valued relationships are the ones that I have a connection to; I need more than surface level.

My favorite trait of the Scorpio is our authenticity. We are what I like to call, "the real deal." This trait can really come across as shocking to some people, but I think it's what makes being a Scorpio so awesome. We can be brutally honest and incredibly genuine in a world that only cares about appearances. Sure it gives us a hard shell that can really turn some people off, but it gets us far in life, and it's what helps us develop those deep relationships. For the people who value authenticity and honesty, Scorpios are best friends to keep.

Another trait that I have come to value is our almost toxic determination and ambition. I say toxic because it comes with an incurable stubbornness, a little single-mindedness, and a "I will never give up despite it all" attitude. If we want something, we're going to get it not matter what it takes. I truly think that this trait has been what's gotten me so far in life. Heck, I'm 24 and about to start school to get my doctorate.

Now that I know more about this sign and have accepted the traits that make me who I am, I realize that being a Scorpio is a superpower. Maybe we are a little intense, brutally honest, and intimidating, but we are also loyal, determined, ambitious, brave, and authentic people. I'm now proud to be a Scorpio, and you should be too.