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I fought the Law and the Law won.

by Lamar Wiggins about a year ago in Humanity · updated 3 months ago
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Order In the Court!

I fought the Law and the Law won.
Photo by Bill Oxford on Unsplash

It's unfortunate that we need rules, regulations and guidelines to live by. Why can't we just do the right thing all the time? Is it because we are all different? Is it because we can't be trusted? Or is it because we just don't care? I don't know the answer to that my friend but what I do know is that we need laws. What would the world be like without them? It's easy to imagine the chaos if there were no consequences to our actions. I would hope that we all want to abide by the law whether we agree with them or not but in some cases, we don't even know that we are about to break a law, that's because some laws make little to no sense and are not obvious to anyone. Let's take a journey into the little know and highly questionable laws that exist, and most are still enforced to this day.

By Matt Popovich on Unsplash

Did you know that it is illegal for dogs to bark after 6pm in Little Rock Arkansas. What are you supposed to do, put a muzzle on them at that time? You can teach a dog not to bark but that's like teaching a baby not to cry; it's normal for them to do so. They make devices to shock a dog every time it barks, and it learns that way but if you ask me that should be illegal. It's just cruel.

In Gainesville Georgia it is Illegal to eat chicken with anything other than your hands. I get it, but I don't want a court date over it if I chose to use a fork or something else to eat it with. Also, what if you don't have hands? I bet they still expect you to leave the city to eat it another way. I, myself have nothing to worry about because It's Finger Licking Good!

In Michigan it is illegal for a woman to cut her own hair without their husband's permission. I assume some rich guy didn't approve of his wife's haircut and took her to court to establish this one... Just plain o'l dumb. Guys who live in Michigan probably shouldn't know this.

By The Creative Exchange on Unsplash

In North Dakota it is Illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on... Hmm, who would actually call the police on someone for this. I guess it would be a different story if they fell asleep on my couch with shoes on. I would be the first to call the cops if I lived in that state.

In Kansas it is illegal to catch a fish with your bare hands. Umm... Who cares how you catch a fish. I can't even imagine how this came about other than maybe fishing pole sales declined after people realized that they can just use their hands if they want.

By Angello Pro on Unsplash

In Maryland you could get a $10.00 fine for wearing a sleeveless shirt in a public park. This one actually might be worth the ten dollar hit if comfort is involved. You would think that shirtless would be worse, for men that is. Shirtless for women is still a ways off.

In Devon Connecticut you cannot walk backwards after sunset. Yes, it's for your own safety but really! Do we need to make a law for something that should be obvious not to do? Unless you know exactly where you're going when walking backwards you probably shouldn't do it. You might just land in the hospital.

I hope you have a vocal coach if you live in North Carolina because It is illegal to sing off key there. I'm on the fence with this one. I mean, I don't want anyone to go to jail over it but, I also don't want to hear it. Some of us are just born tone deaf and can't carry a note to save our lives but think we can. Who doesn't like to sing along to your favorite tracks so we do it anyway and might not even know that it's just a tad bit offensive. In this case, it's better to do ourselves a favor and let someone know that they can't sing. It makes my ears want to implode.

By Stijn te Strake on Unsplash

Drinking milk in Utah is Mandatory. This is a deal breaker for me. I will NEVER live in Utah simply because of it. I hope it's not to the point of doing random checks of people's refrigerators to make sure they have some stocked. The only thing that should be mandatory in the fridge is baking soda, that stuff really works.

In Massachusetts it is illegal to take beer to hospital patients. I'm positive that this is true in every state, but Massachusetts has gone the extra mile to make this law very specific. I myself think hospitals should make alcohol available to patients that are about to receive bad or even good news. It would serve a purpose for either reason plus they can make an extra buck. But don't hold your breath, because it will never happen. Mostly due to drug interactions, so probably not a good idea.

By Linda Gerbec on Unsplash

It is Illegal to go hunting in a Cemetery in Oregon. What would you be hunting? Ghost or rabbits because I can't imagine what else would be there... Stay out of the cemetery people unless you are visiting the dearly departed.

In Alaska it is illegal to get drunk in a bar. Wait a minute! Isn't that what bars are for. You go there to have a good time, right? Every now and then you have one too many, surprise! you're drunk. This one by far would have the most violators. Do the bartenders give you breathalyzers before you can order a drink, or do they give you a sobriety test?... The police have job security in this state and probably get tired of the same o'l drunken disorderly calls every day. That's if they even bother to enforce it. Their jails would be full all the time... Remind me to never open a bar in Alaska.

Don't go spitting just anywhere in the town of Goodyear Arizona or you might just get a 2500.00 fine and up to 6 months in prison. That's right, spitting in public places is Illegal there. Where are you suppose to spit inside your house? I know it's gross, but I don't think humans spit for fun. We all seem to know when it's time to spit and wherever you might be at the time you just let it go. Baseball players would have to be exempt from this, they spit all the time. Chewing tobacco sales must be at an all-time low in this city, it's probably banned.

No cursing while driving in Rockville Maryland. WHAT THE HECK are you talking about? I guess Keep the windows rolled up if you can't help but to curse out a red light or call someone the MF bomb who cuts you off. A $100.00 fine is coming your way if you're caught. This is really silly because first off, it's free speech. And what are the chances a police officer will hear someone cursing up a storm in their car. Chances are better if someone just feels guilty enough to turn themselves in to collect the fine.

By Benjamín Hazael Rojas García on Unsplash

In Georgia it is illegal to keep an Ice cream cone in your back pocket on Sundays. Say What!!! can you repeat that? I'm not sure if my ears heard that correctly. This law is obviously outdated. My question is what about the rest of the days. At some point in the past this was offensive to someone, and they probably wanted to outlaw it all together. However, the lawmakers were nice enough to only include Sundays for this whacky law. Why do you need to put it in your pocket anyway? You can't save it for later when it's constantly melting away. Just eat the whole thing like most normal people would. Geez!

In Iowa, One-armed piano players must perform for free. This is just wrong anyway you look at it. Yeah, they may only be half as good as a two-armed player, but they still know how to play. How do you justify this? Don't worry, I would pay to watch the performance mainly to see how they pull it off. It might just be more interesting than the two-armed player since you don't know what to expect.

In Washington it is illegal to harass Bigfoot or Sasquatch or whatever you call the elusive big hairy creature that probably doesn't exist. Which means no one has ever been arrested over this, which means there is no point to this written law. And if he did exist sometime in the past, he's gone now, probably deceased from old age. From what I remember there was only one of them right? Not a whole race of Bigfoots, Bigfeet, Sasquatches or Sasquatchi not sure which word would be correct to describe a race of them.

In Maine, it is illegal to keep Christmas decorations up past January 14th. Finally, one I can applaud to. Lights are pretty and all, but the holiday has been over for three weeks, get over it and take them down. I've seen decorations stay up well into February. At the end of the day, I still think the law is dumb only because I don't need the police telling me what I can and can't do to my house.

By Channey on Unsplash

In West Virginia whistling underwater is prohibited. Once again, I ask Why, why, why is this a law. I'm sure someone tried it and forgot that you can't take a breath underwater when it's time to refill your lungs with air in order to continue whistling. They probably choked to death and brought this law to life in the process. It does kind of make you want to try it the next time you go swimming, just not in WV. I'm intrigued.

Well, there you have it. We've covered quite a range of ridiculous code in the US but barely scratched the surfaced. Laws exist everywhere you go, and we know that. We all have our own personal laws we live by too. We just don't physically write them out. There are things we like and don't like. For instance, in my household it is illegal to use ketchup on Thursday, unless it's raining outside. Don't get caught using it, you could face up to 30 days of no ketchup. Also, NO WET RUGS in the bathroom. You could be escorted off of the premises indefinitely for this violation. Wet rugs equal wet socks and no one wants that. Dry your feet as you're getting out the shower, or hang up the rug to dry, simple as that. And finally, my friends, the next time you visit a state in the U.S. of A, make sure and look up their dumb laws so you are not blindsided when they confront you with a dumb citation.

Ciao for now.

Humanity

About the author

Lamar Wiggins

Creative writer here in the Northeast US. I love the paranormal, fiction, mystery and article writing. Writing to me is an endless adventure of crafting words. Take a chance, you will be thoroughly entertained. Thankyou.

LDubs

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