I am Convinced The Ignorance of Humankind is Complete…

As a marketing director, I am always on the lookout for new ideas, and in doing so, I often come across the most stupid ideas that were thought of being ‘great ideas’.

Diet water

Yes, believe it or not, there is supposedly some kind of peptide bond that targets fat cells, um.. I think water as it is targets fat cells.. We should all stay hydrated so that our brains don’t shrink to thinking that purchasing ‘diet water’ is a good thing.

Water proof writing pads.

This one may actually have been something that would have been good before we had underwater cameras, but now we can film most anything underwater. They marketed these writing pads for the shower. Good ideas can often dawn upon us in the shower, but if we receive some epiphany in the shower, surely we would remember it after showering? If our memory is so weak that we cannot remember an idea we had while taking a shower, then we have bigger problems, and waterproof shower note pads will not solve them.

Pet Rock

The whole point of having a pet is to care for it and spend time with it, even with fish in a tank. We like to look at their beauty and we need to clean the tank and feed them; they are lower involvement pets, but still have an aesthetic function.

Now a pet rock is just dumb, but what’s even more dumb is that the guy who launched the idea became a millionaire.

Hold on, let me rethink that. Perhaps we are the dumb ones? He certainly isn’t. He made millions. Is there any hope for humankind? Gary Dahl, an advertising executive, developed the concept. A pet that requires no time and attention is brilliant if you really are completely delusional to pay for such an item. At home, I have a menagerie of pets (I am referring to my rockery). This is so stupid it isn’t even funny.

Wine glass holder necklace

Absolutely brilliant! Imagine a wine glass held by a necklace around your neck. Now imagine filling it with wine to free up your hands. Sounds great until you walk around with wine in the glass. Wine does not remain static in the glass, as many of us can attest to ruined shirts and tablecloths, etc. From wine stains. Unless, of course, your water proof note pad is located directly under the wine glass. Hey wait! There's an idea in that… Not.

Undies for two.

Well um, Okaay, so you and your partner slip into the underpants for two, and you are instantly joined at the belly. How practical…. It’s completely and utterly not. Unless it’s some kind of weird fantasy, and hey, each to their own in their own private time, it’s just not something that I reckon floats my boat. The best is that there is a demand for this invention, but of course there is… Toilet time will be, let’s say.. yuck…

The selfie spoon

Think selfie stick, but with a spoon on the end, because eating anything with a spoon needs to be recorded. Your face munching away at something is just what the world needs right now.

Car lashes

False eyelashes for the headlights of your car. Actually seeing these applied to some cars makes the car look a little more cartoonish. This is merely aesthetic and not practical and the lashes serve no function, maybe this one is a bit of fun, I could see people enjoying this one, and I bet whoever makes the car lashes makes good money, so for a little fun, the inventor deserves his or her rewards.

Toilet Golf

This one has to be one of the most stupid. Toilet golf? Why not play golf while sitting on the toilet? I mean, it’s far more fun than reading stuff in a magazine or on your phone. Nothing like putting away, while you are ‘putting away’… (Toilet humour, that’s literally toilet humour). Yes, okay, my humour is more stupid than toilet golf, I get it.

Chopstick Fan

There are no words for this level of stupidity, the chop stick fan, a mini battery fan, attached to your chopsticks to blow your food to cool it down.

This is so ‘clever’ your chopsticks have now quadrupled in weight, so your fingers get a workout too. Wow, sign me up! Hey wait! There's a gap in the market, ladies and gentlemen. I introduce to you ‘the fork fan,’ now any of you reading this, leave that idea alone, I came up with it. Don’t you dare try to launch it….

Thanks for reading if you got to this point of the silliness…