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Find the True Character of Anyone

How to tell if someone is of excellent character

By Dean GeePublished 3 years ago 4 min read
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Find the True Character of Anyone
Photo by Tyler Nix on Unsplash

Why do you need to assess somebody’s character in the first place? Why judge someone, isn’t that wrong? No, it’s not, particularly when that person is going to play a significant role in your future. We make judgements continually daily. You cannot live without making judgements about everything. Choices come from weighing up alternatives and making a judgement call on what action to take.

When you meet somebody, or perhaps you are on a first date, look for certain character traits to decide whether you would want to see that person again.

Life is too short to spend it with people of questionable character.What would be your judgement on someone who responds in the following manner to a waitress?

“I don’t care that you forgot, I ordered. That is your problem, not mine. Stop making your problems mine and bring me me my coffee! Excuses are for losers!”

I actually had a friend who would treat people like this, so what does that say about me? I was young and stupid at the time and so was my friend. He has mellowed as he has aged, but I don’t see him that much anymore. We have different outlooks and vastly distinct characters. He liked to overpower people. I preferred to let people be.

We can say a lot about a person’s character, from the way they treat others. The golden rule always applies in every situation, no matter what your circumstances are. Treat people the way you would like to be treated.

Modern life is stressful and fast-paced, throw in a headache, or toothache and a waiter having a bad day and you have the perfect cocktail. Stir it or shake it up, and rude and obnoxious outbursts are potential outcomes for all of us.

People displaying virtues in these types of situations as described above are truly of exceptional character. People who care about the impact that their words and actions have on others are people enriched with noble character.

I have observed people going through a tough time who remain gracious and patient with others, and this is truly something to aspire to.

There is another test for character. This one is probably even more telling than how we treat others. The way we react under pressure when they remove our creature comforts.

As is said. “Diamonds are created under pressure.”

“Remember diamonds are created under pressure so hold on, it will be your time to shine soon.”

― Sope Agbelusi..https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/diamond

Gold is refined by fire.

“The raw elements of gold and silver are refined and purified by intense heat. The same is true for you and me. To attain the purest beauty of who we truly are…we all must be forged by fire. The struggles and trials we suffer and learn from are all part of the refining process towards the priceless beauty that’s within us all. God knows that at your soul’s enduring core lies the truest of all treasures. ~Jason Versey”

— Jason Versey (A Walk with Prudence)..https://www.goodreads.com

We all have days where we may be cold, wet, hungry, tired. When we are cold, wet, hungry and tired for extended periods, these stressors will lay bare our true character. The military use these techniques to assess the leadership and character of soldiers in these conditions. I saw large and strong built men crumble under these stressors and I saw smaller and more slightly built men, make it to the end of the course.

Physical appearance is often not a reflection of inner strength.

In everyday life, we don’t often observe somebody under this sort of pressure, but at times the stress we experience can be greater than usual. This is when you should activate your antennae. By being close and supporting your friend or significant other, you can observe the way they react, and then decide.

Stress reveals the character in everyone. That is why it is so important that before you commit to someone, you experience different situations and various aspects of life together.

How we react to someone we like when they are going through a stressful time can also hold a mirror to ourselves about our own character. All of us are flawed human beings. None of us is perfect. We need to decide what imperfections we can live with internally within ourselves and externally in others.

It’s all about expectations. If we can learn to accept rather than expect, I believe our lives will be a lot less stressful.

I remember driving my sister to one of her friends one day and she was really tense in the car. Telling me to hoot and gesture towards people doing the wrong thing. People do silly things on the road all the time. That is my expectation and I accept that fact. It was so stressful driving with her. She worked herself up into a state and got to her destination, all hyped up and stressed.

I said to her. “Do you really expect that everyone will drive to your liking every time you get into your car? Do you really think people are perfect? Why do you have this expectation, and why do you allow the actions of others to control your emotions? They are raising your blood pressure and shortening your life and thus have power over you and you allow them to.”

How we treat others speaks volumes about us as people, so do our reactions under pressure and under stress.

We need to remember that we are all human and give ourselves and others a break. Expectations can lead to frustration and anger unless we learn to accept that the world and people, including ourselves, are imperfect.

How we react to those closest to us when we or they are under major stress lays our true character bare. Be a good person. I know I am going to try, and keep trying.

Thanks for reading.

Humanity
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About the Creator

Dean Gee

Inquisitive Questioner, Creative Ideas person. Marketing Director. I love to write about life and nutrition, and navigating the corporate world.

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