Black Ivory Coffee

While my husband and I aren't coffee connoisseurs by any means, we do order our whole beans directly from roasteries across the US to be ground seconds before consumption by our espresso machine we've lovingly named "Deluca".

One of my favorites is "Winter Park" from Rocky Mountain Roastery in Durango, Colorado. I love the earthy notes of caramel, honey, and cherries, and the photo on the bag is a picturesque view of a wintery mountainside covered in evergreens (rockymountainroastery.com). Another popular bean on our coffee cart is from PT's Coffee Roasting Co. based in Topeka, Kansas (ptscoffee.com). They produce a single origin Sumatra bean that has notes of cherry, almond brittle, and grapefruit. Being greeted by a citrus aroma when sipping a cup of coffee was not something I thought I'd be interested in, but it has become one of my most-desired.

Maybe that's indicative of newfound heights in my coffee snobbery. I've allowed my Starbucks stars to expire because their coffee just tastes burnt (which was an odd development for me as I've been dedicated to them for as long as I can remember). I won't seek out a Duncan Donuts drive thru because it's just watered down and lacks flavor, and I've steered clear of Caribou because I never could order something that made my taste buds sigh with contentment. So, if I embrace the coffee snob label, I wondered what beans other coffee snobs enjoyed, and what the most expensive coffee looks (or tastes) like?

Enter my discovery of Black Ivory Coffee. At a mere $1,560 per pound (or $120 for a 1.23 oz. pouch, ouch), it is the most expensive coffee bean in the world. I was intrigued by their name...finding it alluring and elitist, in its own right. When visiting their website, the title boasts "World's Rarest Coffee. Naturally Refined by Elephants". An image of an elephant standing on its hind legs wearing a bright yellow apron entered my mind. In assembly line style, it picks up a single bean between its huge elephant toes and profusely begins polishing it with a cloth one would use to polish silver. Hence "refined by elephants". I liked this idea; it was cheerful, heartwarming, and cute.

Ummmm...not quite.

Refined by elephants actually means eaten, digested, and deposited (aka defecated/excreted/pooped out). (Cringe.)

As I read on in their harvesting process, I learned just how integral the elephant's role and therefore, the animal's happiness, truly is. The elephant is not only an essential part of the process, it is the process. Each elephant has a care-giving family that mixes the 100% Thai Arabica cherries in with their favorite food to ensure the snack is enjoyable. The care-givers also collect the deposited cherries hours later, delivering them to the local school where high school seniors are paid to prep for the next steps. Then the process continues: wash, rake, sun-dry, sort, and then finally, the coffee cherries are roasted.

While I don't envy those high school seniors for their job, it is wholesome to learn of the way the elephants are treated, and it warms this animal lover's heart.

This isn't the first time I've heard of coffee beans harvested from fecal matter (cue Kopi Luwak, aka civet [cat] poop coffee), but I've never been inclined to actually try it. I found the farming methods unnerving and upsetting, and dismissed it before giving it half a thought.

The animal lover in me wants to purchase a pouch of Black Ivory Coffee to support the elephant's efforts, even though it appears no extra effort is made at all on their part...in fact, they get extra special treats catered to their dietary desires for this process.

Despite the exclusive nature of Black Ivory Coffee, their impressive social responsibility efforts, the delicate flavor (hello chocolate, red cherry, and ... leather?), or even my personal love for elephants, I just can't get on board with fecal beans. Sorry, still a no-go for this coffee snob.