A Lot of Men Can’t Be Consistent to Save Their Lives

It’s yet another day remembering your previous relationship, from friends to lovers and now strangers, it was as expected as the break light of day. You’re relieved but you wonder why it was so easy to break up with him, the memories left of him say it all — you suffered emotional abuse, now you’re done with everything so there are no tears left to shed, all the crying was done when you two were still together.

You think “perhaps, it’s a good time to breathe,” clear the toxic air and stay single for your sanity. Another memory of the good times you shared with who you thought was the one. How sweet it was to feel loved, indeed, it was fun while it lasted, everything was perfect till he lost consistency.

All the love you thought he had for you seemed to depreciate as he no longer called as much as he used to, he no longer texted as he used to, was it all in your head, or were things changing? Was it you or was it him? Trying your best to keep up with his newly found attitude felt like a 9–5 job, complaining did nothing but make matters worse, of course, you did the right thing ending it! A pretty lady has lots more to do than worry about a man with a loss of interest in her.

“I don’t think this love thing is for me,” your thoughts are stamped and you’re certain about what you want in a partner. You discarded the desire to be with someone for a few months now, could getting back into the dating game hurt as much as before? What if it was time to meet “the one”.

It was.

Everything about him made sense, the way he spoke, laughed, made you feel comfortable even amidst silence, his gaze, and intelligence. You prayed he’d be a keeper and not long after, you were in a super healthy relationship.

You’re thankful you met someone as expressive as he was, he embraces your culture, appearance and returns your energy twice as much. You wondered how communication was once a barrier for you, he was close to perfect — calling at the right time, texting first and replying almost immediately, his words of affirmation made your heart flutter all the time, you were happy even if you’d been dating him for only 2 months.

Perhaps, your last relationship was a stepping stone into this one, you appreciate your ex for treating you the way he did because now, you got an even better and more loving person. Together forever was never a fairytale. It was a real phenomenon.

At least so you thought until he began to change. His calls reduced, more missed calls than answered calls, read messages with little or no replies, fewer visits, how did you go from feeling like the most precious jewel in the universe to feeling like a mere nuisance? It was just like before, it all happened so fast, processing it was like trauma. You knew it was going to happen again, did you not?

You gave your all to him knowing what you might get in return, it’s not breaking news or rocket science. Then why did you fall so deeply? A vicious cycle of inconsistency and lies, how did it turn out like this again?

This original piece of writing is not directed to anyone neither do I wish this on anyone. It’s simply an essay narrating what some women go through and have to endure in relationships. You can read more of my works here on Vocal and on Medium and contact me via email; [email protected].