What Am I Missing?

The Dream:

Chronos -

To all who chase success lead forth by aspiration I do apologize. It was a long held belief of mine that this mindset alone would carry me to the heights of accomplishment. I however, was wrong. This path has only demonstrated how narrow it may become. One must perish any hope of fulfillment being attained in a short amount of time this way. Disillusioned I’d ask myself, “what am I missing?” so little to say that means so much.

The sacrifices I’ve made on the path I’ve walked and those of the ones around me have been monumental. It should not go unnoticed or unrecognized in any way. The depth of loss that has been experienced on my account and around me are too great to even ponder for too long. I believe this is not only the case for me, but for you dear reader, as well. I believe that if you are able to identify with one such as I at a time like this that you know. You feel it too, a strange feeling that begins in the back of your head, traveling to your neck, then down your spine. The stress, anxiety, and anguish we as a people are so eager to detach from.

Isn’t that the point of a proper distraction? To take away from the acute awareness that we are all slowly dying every second of the day? Are we to believe that there is anything greater that we fight against than the reckless chaos caused by the unwavering flow of time? Are we to remain inextricably bound to a concept so concrete yet arbitrary beyond belief?

The Eyes -

I pray that such an appeal to perception alone does not sway you. That is to say, while my words may seem to evoke a sense of distain, this is not so. Instead, I call attention to that of which we are completely content to waste all too often. That which shan’t return, the true value of our time. You see, time is a necessary evil, for without it’s unchanging nature there would only exist a sense of stagnation. We would be but objects in the great gestation of creation on the rocky ball of soup known as earth.

It sounds comical however I am being quite serious. Thing of your things, the worldly possessions you hold close, assets you wouldn’t dare part with. They are all influenced by time in one way or another, are they not?

Is that not the reason that any physical thing is of value? Because there is a limitation? Sure we might only have Earth to explore and expand on for now. However if modern science has anything to say about it, this fact can change. The fact that cannot, is that regardless of this, tomorrow will still come. A new day shall dawn and that sun will rise. You will become older, along with friends, family, and people you look up to. Places, customs, everything shall change with time. As in life the universe is utilizing us to explore itself. No matter what you believe, this is simply so.

The universe is a product of everything it contains, and is ruled by the laws that govern it. It is of itself and simultaneously it’s own entity.

Connected.

So laying awake a night spending my last few waking moments learning. Scouring everywhere I possibly can, searching for the answer I can’t see you. Once so iridescent, that the brilliant glow your aura exudes has gone. Vacant are these day filled with the relentless pursuit of success in an effort to prove to no one but myself of myself. To remind me of the childlike innocence I lived with. To remember why quantum physics is my passion.

All in order to understand why that unmistakable pull to the stars calls my name. Under these cool violet nights with a boundless sky so beautiful that words to describe it’s splendor escape me. To see, to feel, to know why I am here. Not for any greater reason than to answer it for myself. Is there any greater purpose? To attain tranquility, serenity, & a sense of contentment.

When I look back will it even be on this world? Perhaps another because of my research and technological advancement I cannot currently predict. Will I be able to live for centuries? The age that we are approaching is that the likes of which would seem biblical. I’m happy just knowing if I’ve been here before, where I’ve been, and where I may yet go. So what am I missing?

What did I miss the first time?