Virtual Dead

Losing a loved one is probably one of the most painful things we, as humans, can go through. And we're not the only ones who feel loss. Animals throughout the kingdom feel loss, from dogs, to cats, to elephants, apes, chimps, etc. When someone close to us passes, we suffer for a period of time which can differ depending on a very large variety of factors.

Last year, I spent the last night my mom was alive, watching her in the hospital as she slept. I spoke to her even though she couldn't talk back. It was painful, I wept, I pleaded.

She went to the hospital because her leg had given out from under her while at my sister's home. They found she had a blood clot. They did surgery and she was in recovery that she didn't come out of.

Her death was unexpected, especially after losing my step dad less than a year before. His death was expected so many of us were able to prepare. To this day, even when writing this and looking through various images, I cry, I feel the pain and the loss.

In the modern day, we have pictures of everything we experience. Images and videos document so much of our lives. This has proven to be both good and bad. Great because we have them as long as we have the internet and the physical copies of the pictures. Bad because a lot of the time, we actually miss out on the experience itself because we're too busy recording it for future consumption.

However, there is another medium that can give us a level of interaction of our memories that we've never had before. Virtual reality, although has been done in the past (I remember the Virtual Boy), has really taken off and provides a very real experience. Movies, like Ready Player One, is closer than ever. We have haptic wear and treadmills that allow us to move in the virtual world and feel everything.

I decided to write this after reading an article from Futurism called 'Watch a Mother Reunite With Her Deceased Child in VR'.

A South Korean mother who had lost her daughter to an illness three years prior was able to see her in the virtual world and interact with her. It was very emotional for the family.

The responses that I have seen seem to be pretty consistent, and when I saw this a couple years ago, I agreed, as did a friend of mine. The responses were that this was creepy and unhealthy.

I have a new outlook when I think about this now. The last few years have really put things into perspective with so many deaths, many of them untimely.

I don't know if this is unhealthy or not, and we won't know until it is studied by psychologists. This may also depend on the person like almost everything else.

Each of us processes grief differently. For some, it hits harder, for others, it doesn't hit as hard. Sometimes it takes longer, while for others it's short or maybe never actually ends. Some may find comfort in images, while others try to get rid of everything that makes them remember them.

I can see a major benefit for this VR system, and that is closure. Many, including me, have regrets. Things we wanted to say but didn't or couldn't. I have a million things I want to tell my mom and my step dad. But I'll never get that chance. When it floods my mind, I have to open up word and write them down until my mind clears. I will then delete the document. I've written several pages.

This would give us the chance to see the person face to face and tell them everything. We know it isn't real, so we're less inclined to shut down or be fearful. It allows us to confront our abusers to help us heal.

Maybe this would be a great tool for psychiatrists who are helping people grieve. Which may be the only place one should be able to access this as I can see people who struggle with acceptance becoming addicted. Living in that world as if it was real.

At the same time, like with anything else, why should people do without just because of a few? For the majority, this would most likely be no different from a photo or a video. Just another way for us to be able to reconnect with loved ones on occasion and revisit a fading memory.

I don't have an answer to whether or not it would be healthy. I can definitely see why it would be unhealthy, but I can see why it would be healthy. This is why we have experts, because they can run the tests and collect the data.

In the end, would I get this? Yeah, I think I would. I would love to be able to see my younger brother. I have no memory of him as he died when I was three. I would love to see my younger sister as she was gone from the majority of my life. She only had just come back into it when she died. I have things to say to my step dad. That is a different article altogether. I want to see my mom again as I had gone many years without contact until only a couple years before her passing. Again, a different article. And when my dad passes, I would love to be able to reconnect with him.

This is for each of us to decide individually. I personally just see this as a photo or a video.