The Day I Disappeared

I went on my morning walk in the woods outside my cabin, I usually go on the same path. Right before that, I turn on the coffee machine, I have breakfast, read a book, and relax. I usually tried to meditate before I go, just I have a. clear mind, which I take my walks to help me clear my mind, but sometimes it just makes me think more. I smell the coffee, I think it's ready, mmm... coffee in the morning smells so good. Coffee is done, breakfast is done, did I forget anything? No, I don't think so. Starting my walk down the narrow path, with the big tall trees, a dirt path, a patch of green grass ahead, and nice crisp air. Walking, pacing myself to enjoy the scenery of the beautiful woods, I live in a cabin surrounded by trees, it helps with my writing, it helps to awaken my mind to the possibilities of the stories I can create. I have published a few books already, but I've been told it's always based on the same storyline; a woman that seems to be stuck in a dream, an endless dream that seems to never lead anywhere, she feels as if she wakes up, but ends up in the same place. Well, these are the stories I like to write and I have an audience that likes them because they sell pretty quickly. There I go thinking again, always wandering off into my work, always thinking about the criticism I get from my publicist, it's daunting how I am so consumed by the way their comments make me feel. Don't get me wrong, I think I have pretty good skills for writing, I always have something to write, it may be based on the same things a lot of the time, but who doesn't do that nowadays. Ok, going back to enjoying my walk, now coming up to the patch of green grass in the meadow, with a small lake, a group of ducks that fly in around this time, makes it feel so natural. Taking in the fresh breeze, smelling the crispness of the air, makes me feel at ease. I have a spot by the lake where I sit to feed the ducks, where you can see the full scenic view of how big the woods are, so green, hearing the little animals in surround sound, as if you were listening to one of those nature videos online, this is the perfect place to come and unwind. It does feel like one of the stories I've written before, but I couldn't find that good of a story. Now, I've gone deeper into the woods, further into this path where I've been, it is more intriguing than where I usually stop, but feels like I should go back... something is telling me that I should go back. My curious mind has come forward, is telling me "keep going, see what's out there, go explore", making me feel like a child again, but the better part of my heart is telling me to go back... I'm torn. Well, here I go. Deeper into this wonderland, deeper into the rabbit hole, further into the darkness... wait, how did it get so dark all of a sudden, what time is it? I feel like I just got here... why does my reflection in this weirdly place mirror look as if I've aged? How long has it been? Am I lost? What day is it? Oh no! Not again, I've been here before, but I thought it was a dream. I've tried to go back, to just end up in a different place every time, not knowing where to go. Ok, I'm just going to turn around and see where it leads. What is this? I've turned around, and the other end of this road looks the same as the other, will it lead to the same place? Fallen to the ground in despair, I'm quite confused as to where to go from here, I'm lost. Is there someone out there? Anybody? Help! I stop screaming, asking for help, waiting for someone to come for me... but no one hears me. I pick myself back up, start walking in the first direction that my feet take me... why is there a poster with my picture on it, why is there someone out there looking for me... why is the date from 1964? But I'm right here... let me call that number... wait, where's my phone? Did I leave it by the pond? Ugh... I don't know what to do. Ok, I will take the poster with me, and see who can explain as to what is going on. It’s seems the further I go, the further I get from where the need to be... how do I get back? Where is everybody? I sat down in the middle of the path, to take a moment to think, when it dawned on me... maybe this is a game that my mind is playing with me. Like I said, this has happened to me before, what did I do in order to go back? Did I ever go back? Maybe I’m still stuck in this bad dream, not being able to wake up, always going around in circles. Eventually, did I realize that I’ve been in the same nightmare, for a long time, lost in the world I created, without having created an escape. Therefore, this is the day I got lost... lost in my own mind, lost in my own story, lost in the universe with no end. I hope one day someone will find me.