The Crappy Species of HUMANITY in a Nutshell!

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The Crappy Species of HUMANITY in a Nutshell!

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Spoiler:

This is not really just 'a lazy mindless list'

- HUNT for the jokes and the dark bits!

A bit like a very screwed up, satirical, word search!

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All our Most common Hobbies, Pastimes and Interest All Laid Out!

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Reading, Watching X factor, Watching I’m a celebrity get me out of here, Watching Survivor, Watching the Biggest loser, Watching Football, Watching Rugby, Family Time, Drinking time, Drinking far too much time, Hitting the spouse time, Saying “you will never hit them again” time, Going to Movies, Talking about the movies, Fishing, Computer games, Looking at porn on the computer, Erasing their browser history on the computer, Gardening, Renting Movies, Not Renting movies when they realise it is no longer the 90’s. Walking, Complaining about walking, Wishing they weren’t walking, Exercise, Promising to exercise, Lying about exercising, Taking the piss out of people that exercise. Listening to Music, Hating other people’s music, Pretending their music taste is the only one that matters, Entertaining, Hunting, Team Sports, Shopping, Feeling compelled to shop to fill the void in their lives, Getting into debt, Traveling, Sleeping, Fake that they are sleeping to be left alone, Socializing, Sewing, Golf, Church Activities, Ranting with hatred at those with slightly different Church Activities, Relaxing, Worrying, Wanking, Masturbating, Wiping their arse, Picking their nose and pretending that they never eat the rich tasty snot inside, Playing Music, Housework, Crafts, Watching Other Sports, Watching MORE Other Sports, Watching EVEN MORE Other Sports, Talking about sports, Deluding themselves that they are cool for liking sport. Deluding themselves that they are superior for not liking sports, Bicycling, Playing Cards, Gambling in hope that winning will let them go shopping, Getting in even worse debt, Hiking, Cooking, Eating Out, Going Down, Rimming, Fucking, Dating Online, Dating online and hoping the significant other never finds out! Dating online and feeling enraged when it is their very own significant other that turns up for the anonymous hook up! Swimming, Camping, Skiing, Boasting to the less well-off about skiing, Working on Cars, Making Nuclear powered battle suits, Writing, Writing a list of other people’s hobbies, Writing a list of other people’s hobbies and being a total dick about it, Boating, Motorcycling, Animal Care, Dogging. Bowling, Painting, Running, Running for political office, Running from the police, Dancing, Horseback, Ridding, Spotting spelling mistakes, Tennis, Avoiding the Theatre, Being dragged to the Theatre, Pretending that they didn’t cry in the theatre during that one emotional song, Billiards, Beach, Volunteer Work, Promising God that they will do Volunteer work if he gives them a miracle by letting them win this one bet so they can pay off all their debts! Shmoo!, Aircraft Spotting, Airbrushing, Airsofting, Looking up stuff on the Net what the fuck ‘Airsofitng’ is! Acting, Acting up, Acting out, Aeromodelling, Amateur Astronomy, Using Amateur Astronomy to spy on neighbours “That No Moon!”, Failing to get Geeky Star Wars references, Amateur Radio, Pets, Petting, Heavy Petting, Archery, Arts, Farts, Aquarium Freshwater, Aquarium Saltwater, Astrology, Buying GMO-free salt because they are a very stupid dumb ass! Backgammon, Getting Old, Denying that they are Getting Old, Badminton, Baseball, Base Jumping, Getting arrested for illegal Base Jumping, Getting arrested to Free Basing, Basketball, Beach/Sun tanning, Getting Skin Cancer, Getting Lung Cancer. Beachcombing, Over Combing, Combing Over Their Hair, Beadwork, Anal Beadwork, Beatboxing, Becoming A Child Advocate, Bell Ringing, Belly Dancing, Bicycling, Being Bi, Not willing to admit that everyone is at least a little Bi (Yes, even you Gay people!), Bicycle Polo, Bird watching, Inserting overly used “Carry on” style cockney innuendos from the ’60s, Birding, BMX, Blacksmithing, Blogging, Board Games, Boring Games, Mind Games, Emotional Games, RPG Games, Boating, Sinking, Drowning. Body Building, Getting attacked by Frankenstein type monsters called Adam! Bonsai Tree, Bookbinding, Boomerangs, Brewing Beer, Bridge Building, Bringing Food To The Disabled, Helping food be stolen from the poor by supporting corrupt officials in their government, Building A House For Habitat For Humanity, Helping People become homeless by supporting corrupt financial institutions that fund the corrupt officials in their government, Building Dollhouses, Butterfly Watching, Butterfly Knifing, Button Collecting, Cake Decorating, Cake Eating, Calligraphy, Letting Ancient Rome burn while you play the fiddle (Even though they are not invented yet!), Fiddling, Fiddling with yourself, Fiddling the books, Practicing Fractional Reserve Lending with is exactly like fiddling the books but legal, Candle Making, Inserting a Candle into your body when the house is empty, Cartooning, Car Racing, Car Racing away from the police, Cave Diving, Muff Diving, Arse Diving, Ceramics, Cheerleading (I am not touching this potential joke with a 50 foot pole!) , Chess, Cloud Watching, Coin Collecting, Paper Money Collecting, Collecting Antiques, Collecting Artwork, Collecting Hats, Collecting Music Albums, Collecting RPM Records, Collecting Sports Cards (Baseball, Football, Basketball, Hockey), Collecting Swords, Collecting Memories, Losing Memories to Dementia, Colouring, Composing Music, Composing Yourself rather than committing GBH on the that twit who annoying you! Conworlding, Cooking, Cooking Meth, Cosplay, All Crafts (unspecified), Crocheting, Cross-Stitch, Crossword Puzzles, Darts (sport), Darts (Ninja), Diecast Collectibles, Digital Photography, Dodgy Digital Photography, Dodgeball, Dodge Taxes, Dominoes, Drawing, Dumpster Diving, Dumpster diving not out of choice but because people other richer people avoid paying taxes, Educational Courses, Electronics, Chemistry, Putting the Electronic Skills and the Chemistry Skills Together for Totally Legal non-violent reasons, Embroidery, Entertaining, Falconry, Fast cars, Fast Women, Fast spreading STD’s, Felting, Fencing, Taking Off-Fencing at harmless jokes, Fire Poi, Floorball, Floral Arrangements, Fly Tying, Four Wheeling, Frisbee Golf – Frolf, Gardening, Lady Gardening, Garage Saleing, Genealogy, Geocaching, Ghost Hunting, Glow sticking, Gnoming, Go Kart Racing, Grip Strength, Accidentally ripping your own dick off!, Guitar, Looking for G-Strings, Wearing G-Strings, Gunsmithing, Gun Collecting, Shooting up helpless children at an Elementary School, Being the sort of un-apologetic dick that won’t let the law change to stop that shit happening! Gymnastics, Gyotaku, Handwriting Analysis, Hang gliding, Herping, Hiking, Home Repair, Building a secret base!, Home Theatre, Trying to kill Intelligence asset 007 James Bond, Hot air ballooning, Failing to kill Intelligence asset 007 James Bond, Hula Hooping, Getting killed by Intelligence asset 007 James Bond, Hunting, Hunting for love, Hunting for meaning, Ice skating, Illusion, Impersonations, Inventing, “What are we doing tonight brain?”, Jet Engines, “The same thing we do every night! Binky!”, Jewellery Making, “What’s that Bain”, Jigsaw Puzzles, “Why the same thing we do every night!”, Juggling, “Try and take over the world!”, Keep A Journal, Jump Roping, Jumping Bail, Kayaking, Kite Boarding, Knitting, Being a knit, Knotting, Lasers, Making Sharks With Fricking Lasers!, Lawn Darts, Learn to Play Poker, Spend the last impoverished years of your wasted lonely life wishing that you never Learned to Play Poker, Learning A Foreign Language, Learning An Instrument, Being an Instrument of change, Learning To Pilot A Plane, Leathercrafting, World Of WarCrafting, Legos, Not Lego-ing of the past!, Letterboxing, Listening to music, Locksport, Lacrosse, Macramé, Magic, Majik, Making Model Cars, Marksmanship at an elementary school with live targets, Martial Arts, Matchstick Modelling, Meditation, Microscopy, Metal Detecting, Pop Detecting, R&B Detecting, Model Railroading, Model Rockets, Modelling Ships, Models (this joke is far too obvious to make, even I have some standards!), Motorcycles, Motorboating, Motorboating Tits (Ok, so maybe my standards are still pretty Dam awful!), Mountain Climbing, Climbing Every Mountain, Musical Instruments, Forging Every Stream, Nail Art, Failing to find your dream and you are now stuck with 7 other persons kids! Needlepoint, Needlepointing your own arm, Trainspotting, Owning An Antique Car, Origami, Painting, Paintball, Painting with a Paintball Gun, Painting the wall RED using a real gun at an elementary school, Papermaking, Paper mâché, Parachuting, Going “SPLAT!”, Paragliding, Power Paragliding, Parkour, Being to ignorant to not call Parkour “Free Running” like a typical modern millennial douche! People Watching, Stalking, Being Stalked, Being killed by you Stalker because of Inadequate legal protections and policing! Piano, Pinochle, Pipe Smoking, Broken Half Lightbulb Smoking, Planking, Water Planking, Pole Dancing, Pottery, Pott Dealing, Powerbroking, Protesting, Puppetry, Protesting against the Puppets in power! Pyrotechnics, Enjoying Guy Fawkes Night! Quilting, Quitting, Racing Pigeons, Stop the Pigeon, Rafting, Railfans, Rapping, Wrapping, R/C Boats, R/C Cars, R/C Helicopters, R C U, R/C Planes, I C U, Relaxing, Renaissance Faire, Rescuing Abused Or Abandoned Animals, Enjoying a delicious Steak, Robotics, Rock Balancing, Rock Collecting, Breaking Rocks, Rocking AIDS Babies, Roleplaying, Sand Castles, Scrapbooking, Shark Fishing, Skeet Shooting, Singing In Choir, Skateboarding, Sketching, Being Sketchy, Slack Lining, Slacking Off, Sleeping, Slingshots, Slot Car Racing, Snorkelling, Snowboarding, Soap Making, Soap Box Speech Making, Socializing with friends/neighbours, Socializing with friends/neighbours then talking shit behind their back! Spelunking, Spunkering, Spending time with family/kids, Storm Chasing, Wishing you did not have to Spend time with family/kids, Stamp Collecting, Wishing and deeply regretting you did not love and valued your family/kids more when they were still alive after last year’s tragic elementary school shooting! Speed Cubing (Rubix cube), Sending deep thoughts Feelings and prayers to those family and victims of last year’s tragic elementary school shooting but doing fuck all else that is practical or really helpful! Storytelling, Storytelling about gun safety, String Figures, Outright lying about gun safety to protect you vested financial interest, Surfing, Surf Fishing, Survival, Swimming, Tatting, Taxidermy, Survival when the food chain collapses! Tea Tasting, Tesla Coils, Tetris, Texting, Textiles, Touching Cloth, Tombstone Rubbing, Tomb Robbing, Tool Collecting, Being a Tool!, Toy Collecting, Train Collecting, Traveling, Treasure Hunting, Trekkie, Tutoring Children, Mourning Lost Children, Ultimate Frisbee, Urban Exploration, Video Games, Violin, Urban Exploration Looking for leftover canned goods when the food chain collapses! Volunteer, Warhammer, Volunteer to kill total strangers overseas! Windsurfing, Wine Making, Whining about shit that doesn’t really matter anyway, Wingsuit Flying, Woodworking, Working In A Food Pantry, Working on cars, World Record Breaking, Wrestling, Writing Music, Writing Songs, Yoga, Yo-yo, Knitting your own yoghurt! Ziplining, Zumba, Keeping ‘Zip’ about what you secretly know to be true!

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We are all just THIS crap and shitty as a species!!

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Spoiler: This is not really just a lazy mindless list - HUNT for the jokes and the dark bits!