Stayin' Alive

Jacoby sucked in a breath between clenched teeth. He felt surreal; weightless and dizzy, yet stuck to the floor like his feet had grown roots that anchored him to hell. He stared over Belona’s shoulder at the screen in horrible fascination, completely thunderstruck. He didn’t know if he would throw up or giggle like a person gone mad, but either was likely, and probably both at the same time when his heart dropped back into place.

Uncertain whether he should feel privileged or doomed, he committed to neither and instead decided to acknowledge the next most obnoxiously active emotion spinning inside his skull.

Awe.

“How the fuck did you do this?”

Belona preened and threw a sultry side grin over her shoulder, shrugging in false modesty as she did so. “You doubt me?” She asked, sweetly.

He sputtered, truly speechless. Had he known she’d be capable of such a feat? Absolutely. Had he ever stopped to really consider it? No. He hadn’t thought about it. And why would he? Because why would she actually do this? Like… ever?

He felt her eyes on him and glanced down at her. She was brimming with wicked mischief, completely proud of herself. Dear God, she’d be the death of them all.

He sighed and rolled his eyes, but couldn’t resist the tug of his lip as it curved upwards.

She beamed in triumph. “I told him it was a new training regime; something for coordination. He has plenty of strength augmentation exercises, but comparatively little for dexterity, endurance, and balance.”

Jacoby pursed his lips wryly at her. “More like he pissed you off when you were designing new VR programs for us all.”

She ignored his comment and swiveled her floating chair back to face the projected screen of her consul. “Well… yeah,” she quipped as she tapped at her virtual keyboard. “He told me nothing was keeping him from destroying me and all that was left that I loved as motivation for me to program something more 'at his level.' Can you believe that? I don't care what kind of warrior race he's from, or that his people are on our side! The arrogance!"

She scoffed and after a moment, took a calming breath and swatted the air in dismissal. "Well, anyway. This is leverage.” She tapped a few more buttons with a satisfied sigh and turned to face Jacoby. The computer beeped an affirmative and moments later, a new program initiated. The one way display enlarged, showcasing the alien's movements as they altered.

Jacoby stuffed a fist to his mouth but was too late to stop the snort. Belona laughed in glee. “I call that one the disco mix,” she explained.

“Is that some sort of pre-World War III thing?” he asked, incredulous. “It’s ridiculous!”

“Yeah. This was before first contact with the Planet Trade Organization. A 20th century phenomenon that took the world by storm.” She slid her chair to the next consul and activated it with a wave of her hand. A man dressed in a white suit filled the screen, his movements suspiciously similar to that of the alien on the larger, projected screen. Jacoby leaned over to get a closer view of the smaller display.

“It’s what they used to call a movie. The man is an actor - a visual story teller. This one's name was John Travolta. Apparently, those moves propelled him to fame." She cocked her head as she watched the man undulating on the screen before she continued speaking. "Hard to imagine ridiculous movements like that were once considered appealing... Anyway, I found the song you hear in the background in the Earth archives first, did a historical search, and then found the movie. The music is kind of catchy, don’t you think?” She grinned as she peered up at him.

Jacoby sneered in disgust, because – how could such a sadistic, terrible song be considered catchy? Inevitably, though, his head started bobbing to the music without his awareness or consent.

She watched him in silent anticipation, waiting.....

His eyes flew open wide as his head snapped in her direction. He grinned. “It's absolutely terrible it but it's completely stuck in my brain! You evil genius!”

She smiled widely, “I know.”

He looked back at the screen. “Can he hear it?”

She nodded. “This all started with the music, actually. I found the most obnoxious songs I could get my hands on and told him it was good for focus. He thinks if he can tune out something so painfully insufferable, he’ll be able to improve his concentration.” She smirked. “He actually picked this one because he hated it the most.”

She pushed her floating chair so that she was centered in front of the first screen once again. “The dancing idea came to me after I found the movie. It was fate.”

He nodded. “I think I could really learn to like this song.”

She gave him a toothy grin and bobbed her head in agreement.

They both watched the alien’s movements on the first screen as they mirrored that of the actor on the second.

Jacoby frowned in thought. “It’s remarkable that he’s dancing. I didn't think a jackass like that could, let alone would. But… he is. So how the hell does he not know he is?”

Belona laughed lightly. “In my searching, I found another movie called Karate Kid.” Jacoby nodded to indicate he was listening. “Well, the kid thought he was washing cars and painting fences. He didn’t realize the movements mimicked fighting until he was facing an opponent. In this case, I just reversed the scenario. Asshole here thinks he’s fighting. Really – it’s not that much different to dancing if you think about it.”

Watching the alien’s liquid movements as he tried to avoid beams, or touch a carefully timed sequence of different colored, floating lights, Jacoby could believe it. He frowned in thought. “But how did you get him to move so slow?”

Belona clapped her hands together like she was sharing a secret. "The alien tech his people shared with us is amazing, but of course, I made it even better. We have one time's Earth's gravity in this room, but in the room he's in next door, I pushed the gravity up to the point where he can barely stand.”

Jacoby's eyebrows went up. Not because of the admission of gravity manipulation - that secret was widely known already. Because... duh. “So… he’s actually getting real training out of this? Like.. you're actually helping him get stronger? You do realize his strength is directly proportionate to the size prick he is.”

She nodded. “Yup. But bigger prick means bigger show!”

They watched as Mr. Alien's pelvis undulated, hips avoiding lasers that burst inches in front of him, followed by inches behind in rapid succession. Moments later, they watched him spin, jump, and land in a half split before sliding back to his feet. If nothing else, he had an abundance of rhythm.

Belona cranked up the volume.

“Ah, ah, ah, ah… stayin alive, stayin alive…”

Belona, dancing in her seat, raised a hand into the air and stuck her finger up. At the same time, her program instructed the alien to raise his own finger to touch a blue light high above his head.

At that, Jacoby lost it. To have one of the most powerful beings in the universe literally dancing on puppet strings was too much. If the asshole ever found out about it….

Shit.

Abruptly, Jacoby stopped laughing and his knees buckled. If this was supposed to be some kind of leverage Belona had over the alien asshat, she would have to reveal that she had it at some point. So why would she bring Jacoby in on the secret? Like jelly, he sank to the floor and landed on his ass. “He’s gonna kill me..” he whined in a shrill whisper.

Belona looked over her shoulder and raised an eyebrow. He returned her gaze, but couldn’t see more than her outline through the white sparks swimming in his vision.

“Calm down, bud. I didn’t show you this cuz I want you to die.”

Jacoby’s breath came out in a semi-relieved whoosh. “Then.. why’d you show me?”

She smiled triumphantly at him. “I couldn’t keep something this fucking sublime to myself! You gotta give me that!”

He shrugged in acquiescence. Even with his life on the line, even he was tempted to reveal this gem of a secret. But he would find a way. He actually wanted to live….

Belona continued, “I chose to tell you because now, I have leverage over you, too!”

He scowled.

Slowly, he rose to his feet. Silently, he opened his wallet and plucked out his baseball rookie card – the only one in existence since the fall, and subsequent rebellion of, Earth – and handed it over to her. “You’re such a bitch,” he mumbled with false malice.

She snatched the card out of his fingers and smiled widely at him. “Yep! But I always get what I want!”