Humor and comedy in the science fiction and fantasy space.
Rug My VisuaL’$ -1 Malls I fucking hate malls, people who drop their kids off with money or plastic though! It’s why I’m here right now. I’m meeting up with some kid who’s probably only eighteen and a part of the Stags click. New age tech punks with spun up mesh kits who idolizes the movie character from American Psycho. They are a big ass gang and recruit in college campuses and high end strips where wearing suits with shorts and stompers are a thing. Don’t get it twisted daddy’s crypto bought this kids build and it’s top tear.
Rug My Visual’$-3 Swap A few days later I was in a bad mood even though I had planned this out for the last two weeks. I had a full schedule set with plenty of activities that I felt would be both fun and ridiculous at the same time. My first stop was to a show at the Backdoor. One of my favorite bands (Push Me) was playing queer core and I had no doubts I could sell a bunch stock while there. The reason I’m in a bad mood is the fact that while I’m in line a bear 🐻 and his butch 🧔♀️ wrangler we’re talking shit about my choice of dress. Of course I had on my cow suit and cape but I had a tight half cut white neckless t-shirt on. I had wrote [Got Milk] on it with a graffiti mop in pink paint. On my face I had put XO under my left eye and OX under my right eye. I drew a crude dick on my chin with hearts for balls and a 💦 at the tip. I even had gold vampire teeth in my grill as a topper.
South Park Predicts The Future
A recent South Park episode got me thinking about a potentially troubling version of the future. The South Park Post Covid Special aired a few days ago on Paramount Plus, whatever that is, and it featured the boys 40 years into the future, when the pandemic is finally coming to an end.
Local Idiot Somehow Creates Artificially Intelligent Machine using Deep Learning, Predictive Analytics, and an Artificial Neural Network Accidentally Developed with Synthetic Biology and Nanotechnology
Local idiot Timmy Timmerson somehow created the worlds first artificially intelligent machine today. He is reported to have accidentally used deep learning and predictive analytics techniques with an artificial neural network he somehow built in his garage. Apparently, the work was funded for some unknown reason with bitcoins and blockchain by tech titan Elon Musk, the ex Dr. Who actor who played Captain Jack Harkness on the show. Elon, who sometimes goes by the name of John Barrowman accidentally used virtual reality to transfer the bitcoins into Mr. Timmerson’s super saver checking account at the local fifth third bank where he previously kept his entire life savings of $44.32. As of today, the value of the account stands at roughly six billion dollars. Mr. Musk, who also played mustachioed porn star Elon Musk in the 1970s where his character was said to have a scent no woman could resist, was reportedly excited to have somehow contributed to the ground breaking achievement without his knowledge or consent.
Predicting The Future Can't Be That Hard! Especially If The My Pillow Guy Can Do It.
Really, I really wasn't planning on publishing anything anymore. I had planned on stopping at 199, but today I read through something that I thought was funny, even comical, considering this is America. Apparently, there's a billionaire that thinks he can predict the future of the American political arena. We all know him, the My Pillow Guy, Mike Lindell. Mike Lindell has made yet another prediction that former President Donald Trump will be reinstated by 2022. Apparently, there is some secret crystal ball or perhaps a witchy brew that Mike Lindell has at his disposal. If a billionaire thinks he's got this one all to himself then he's got a lesson to learn.
The Immortal Kevin
“¿Esta muerto?” Abuelita poked the goat’s thigh with the tennis-ball end of her cane. “No, he’s breathing,” Humberto replied. Humberto, Ana, Rafael, and Abuelita hunched over the deformed creature.
Loss of an Heirloom
Hey deadbeat, You haven’t paid your rent in five months, so I came into the apartment I own and took that stupid heart-shaped locket you’re always wearing! Come to my home and pay your rent before 5:30pm today, or I’ll melt it down into heart-shaped goo!
When the Tide Meets the Sand
Although it had ceased to have any use for a month now, the glass pebble that once connected him to the world, his fans, and his girlfriends, still never left his pocket. 2072 was the year New Dubai crashed; financially and literally. If not for his father’s divergent nature, The Young Prince would have met his end along with the rest of the family when a freight drone the size of a stadium was sent through the spires of the ‘Sky Department’.
Self-Help Advice from a Single-Celled Organism
Dear H. Sapien, You know that scene in the Matrix where Agent Smith monologues his revulsion with your species by likening it to a virus?
Wine Small Step
“What do you see?” Hank asks, shoving past to get a look at the control panel. “It’s just humans doing human things,” I say, giving him a hard shove in return.
THE WILL Jack sat back on his easy chair looking up at the ceiling. A refreshing late August breeze flowed in from the two large windows in his front room. His wife was at her sister's house for their weekly get-together. Jack turned on the CD player and the first track of relaxing music started to play.