Poison

Well, that’s a kind of funny story. On a number of levels. You’ll see what I mean. It’s ironic really. Or, I think so. I’m always confused about the definition.

This is how it happened. I woke up on the side of a mountain. I open my eyes and I’m like upside down in some bush staring at my butt and the sky. My head hurt. Everything hurt. I managed to climb out of the bush and get to my feet but it was hard, man. And I didn’t know how I got there. I was pretty rattled.

I looked around and there was nothing but mountain side, trees and bushes. I didn't know where I was, but I couldn’t just sit there, so I got up and went to start walking down the mountain when my side starts screaming at me like crazy. I lifted up my shirt to see what I did and there’s a bullet hole. All the way through. Nothing vital, I don't think but I don’t remember being shot. I don’t remember anything. Like, what the hell? So now I’m wondering if someone’s after me or maybe they thought I was dead or somethin’, right? I couldn’t have shot myself. I mean, I don’t know what the fuck is going on. Best to be on the move, I think.

So, now I’m wandering down the mountain and a couple of hours go by and nothin’ happens. I’m in my head and scanning the mountain behind me for...I don’t know what, when this old hobo-like guy pops outta nowhere. I mean dirty, long stringy hair. beard. Not a lot of teeth. Startled the shit outta me. “You can’t be here,” he says, “They’ll come for you.”

So I’m like, “Who’s they?” Right?

“The alien motorcycle men,” he says. Alien. Motorcycle. Men. I almost laughed. Ya know? Then I hear him say “But it’s your duty. Can’t it wait? We must clean.” Weird stuff. Didn’t make sense. Definitely some nut. And next thing you know he’s running at me. I kinda freeze and I’m saying Holy Fuck out loud as he crashes into me. We fall over together, all legs and arms and stuff... and he hits his head on a rock, splitting it open. It just keeps getting crazier. Bloods’ pouring out everywhere, in the dirt and mud, and I don’t know what’s going on. My adrenaline’s goin’ through the roof and I’m scared and confused, right? Then I hear someone coming through the woods. I look over and it’s fucking alien motorcycle men. I mean, maybe not really, but people in black outfits with these black helmets on. I didn’t think they were actually alien motorcycle men. That'd be crazy.

Anyway, they’re comin’ my way so I start running. I’m thinking maybe this is who fucking shot me. I think it was only a couple of minutes when I got to this not too steep cliff and started climbing down, and I’m almost at the bottom when I hear noise at the top. I looked up to see these guys at the top just before this boulder hit me and I’m rolling down the mountain side, over a cliff and into a river. Right? Like, can it be any worse?

I’m guessing about a mile or so downstream, I climb outta the water like a drowned rat. I survived. I must be lucky. I make my way to this little cave I found on the side of the river. Hurt. Almost drowned. I got a bullet hole in me. I’ve lost my memory. Crazy people are trying to kill me. I needed someplace safe. I grab a broken shard of rock to defend myself, because of animals and stuff, ya know, and climb into the cave.

Anyway, I guess I dozed off and I don’t know what woke me but one of them guys is in the cave in front of me. I don’t think they saw me. I was against the wall in a crevice in the deeper shadows. Their back was to me and so I just... acted. I jumped out and stabbed them. I just kept stabbing and stabbing, you know? I didn’t know really know what I was doing. I mean, I hadn’t killed anyone before. Or, had I? Right? I couldn’t remember. Whatever. Afterwards, I turned the body over and took off the helmet. It made this hissing sound so it had a seal of some kind or something. I didn't think too much about that and I really don’t know what I was expecting to see. An alien with a beard and face tattoo, maybe? But it was some girl. Beautiful, really. No face tattoo. She had this heart shaped locket around her neck. I took it and put it in my pocket. I didn’t know why exactly. To honor her or something?

That’s when the other 2 showed up. As soon as I saw them I got ready for a fight. They looked at me and the girl on the floor and one of them is like, “Hold on. Wait. This is a mistake.” and takes off the helmet. “We’re not here to hurt you, “he says. “The rock was an accident. We...SHE was here to help you." He paused for a moment. "You don’t remember, do you? ” I musta looked skeptical and so he says, “No. Wait. I can prove it. Look, you’re a part of a project to save the human race.” and he pulled out this little gadget, a projector I guess, that puts an image on the floor. It was an article about a project and I saw my face with some others in the background. Then he tells me about the atmosphere. The water. The weather. The virus. The poison. People going nuts. You know? The end of everyone. He shows me articles. He says we were mankind’s only hope. The 12 of us. We were gonna be the future of the human race. How we were altered to survive the harsher environment, radiation, virus... and how we were put in cryo to wait out the poison which was gonna take 250 years to go away. He said he was a part of our security and something about shifts and cryo and then said we’d been under for 60 years so far. That took a moment to sink in. 60 years… And the mountain facility was for my protection. You know all this I guess but for me, it was a lot to take in.

So, here’s what happened. There was a mechanical error in some card or something and it shorted out my cryo unit. It takes a while for you to wake up and regain your memory after so I was disoriented and confused. Anyway, I must have found my way out of the room and then onto a terrace overlooking a valley. I guess there's supposed to be a chaperone or something when you wake up but my waking up wasn't planned. It was a pretty nice set up, I think. It’s all kind of fuzzy still. I don’t know what took so long for you guys to come looking. Maybe it shorted out your alarm or whatever? You don't know, do you? So I’m on the terrace and I pass out. I guess right over the railing and down the cliff side. That’s where I banged my head and probably why my memory didn’t come back when it should have.

That hole in me by the way? Was a stick or branch or something. Wasn’t even a gunshot. Okay. So, can you imagine how this is sinking in? I just killed this girl. For nothing. I went numb. Blank, really. I couldn’t feel anything. Emotionally. Was it shock? I should have felt something, I thought. So I just play follow the leader. I didn’t say much of nothin’ and just listened as he filled in a few details while we walked.

He was saying something about our bioengineering and that triggered a vague memory. It had something to do with being tested physically and I felt pride and approval. Then he was talking about how the UN called on us to save humanity and that reminded me of signing the paperwork. That came with a feeling of, I don't know...giddiness, I think. As we climbed out of trees and onto this road, he said something about not being able to have kids and never being a parent. Like the whole human race was sterile. I started remembering being young and not having parents. Being raised by scientists, teachers, coaches, trainers...therapists. We were different. Better. Engineered.

But I also remembered feeling lonely. Different. We were kept to ourselves. We had times for everything. There wasn’t any social interaction. I went through puberty without ever even seeing a girl outside of the doctor.

By the time we got to the facility my memories were just crashing into my head. Everything. It was all jumbled up and confusing. You know? The time lines? I didn’t know what was when.

But the images. Some were just crazy, right? I saw the dead girl...but not just her. Other dead girls. Broken. People jumpin' off buildings and bridges. Fires and looters and half naked bodies. I saw myself fighting the doctors. Being told that it was dangerous outside and I wasn’t going to be able to go there anymore. I remembered the news and how they said the world was ending for us humans. I remembered my doctor, she kinda ran the facility, telling me how we were going to save humanity and fix everything.

I came back to the present and asked about the girl. I mean, I killed her. That couldn't have been alright. Was it? It wasn’t intended but it wasn’t exactly an accident either. The guy looks at me...the look on his face was strange...I can’t place it, but he says, “It’s unfortunate but it is what it is. It doesn’t matter anyway. We need you. Every one of you. We need every chance we can get.”

We were in front of my cryo unit now. The lid was up so the number 8 on it was turned sideways. That was me. Number 8 of 12. It was all starting to come together in my head but I hadn’t quite connected the dots. One of the guys, tough looking mother, brought over some card and replaced it in my machine and they told me to get in. I remembered the locket and pulled it out. It was silver and small, but I couldn't see a way to open it. I asked if they minded if I kept it with me. To remind myself of what happened. To remember “her”. “Yeah. I guess.” he says. I mean, they didn’t look happy but they didn’t look like it was their problem. Following orders, maybe? Then they pulled the lid over me and there was this humming noise.

So that’s when it all came back to me, in the proper order...and I remember falling back asleep and feeling kind of...I don’t know, euphoric maybe? It’s hard to explain.

Which is how I ended up here. It’s really kind of like fate. Who would think that my unit would short out twice? I think maybe there’s something wrong with the port for the card. Burns it out every 60 years or so. Almost 120 years since we were put in here, eh? I guess that means everyone else is gone. Maybe I’ll wake up a couple of more times before the 250 years is up. I mean, you’ve probably already had a couple of shifts, right? You look older than those last guys. What makes someone choose this life, I wonder? Being post apocalyptic security. Watching over a bunch of sleeping experiments to protect people you don’t know for a future you'll never take part in. What drives you? You’d be old when we finally woke up. That’s quite the sacrifice.

Well, that’s not really important, is it? Why do ants sacrifice themselves for other ants? It's an interesting question but really irrelevant in the big scheme of things. It won’t help the human race or the future. It won’t help you.

And I still have to answer your question, right?

So, why did I keep the locket? Well, I left the others back at the lab when we were rushed to the mountain. Maybe lost forever. This locket is my first of a new age. It will be my most important possession. To remind me of her. Of what I did. It’s my first...trophy.

But seriously, I have to ask. Was that ironic? I'm always confused about that since that song came out way back when. Nice ring you have there by the way…