Opinions

"That's 34 robots down already!" Sergeant Dust stomped around the studio, watching his men tidy up the bar on one of the screens as he chomped a packet of crisps. "This is going to be a good show."

Sia slipped on a leather jacket. "What makes you so sure about that?"

Sergeant Dust folded his arms. "I just know." He lit up a cigarette. "Would you like one?"

She scooped the cigarette with her fingers. "Thank you."

"So, you're not giving up then?" Sergeant Dust asked. "You said you were giving up today."

"I know," she said, stroking his cheek. "But I won't say no from such a wonderful gentleman such as yourself."

Chuckling, he sat on a chair and wheeled himself over to the bottom screen with two naked ladies. Sia blocked the screen, winked at Sergeant Dust and pulled his collar. "I see what you're doing."

"So, I'm not allowed to watch?"

"I don't need to ask you who your favourite couple is."

"The Japanese ladies are adorable, kick-ass and sexy."

Sia pouted, scratching her head. She couldn't help feeling jealous. The fact that he wasn't paying attention to her caused offence. Her chest tightened. "So, you don't think I'm sexy and attractive?"

"I never said that."

"I've said this every year since this show has started that we need to be together."

"And every year, I say no."

"My, oh my!" Sia slid off the table, stomping her feet as she strolled out of the studio. "I know when I'm not wanted. You enjoy your lesbians."

The zipping sound on her way out grated her ears like a scratched record. She didn't need to turn around to see what the sergeant was doing.

Sia received a telephone call on her way to her dressing room. It was a call from Professor Denki. "Moshi, moshi!"

Professor Denki's voice had aged like fine wine. The two had not met in person for years but his voice sent shivers down her spine. "Sia...stop this madness."

Sia's fingers trembled. She was close to dropping her phone. "What madness?" Sia asked in an innocent tone, almost child-like.

"Why did you kidnap my granddaughter?" Professor Denki said.

Sia gasped, then laughed to the point where she fell off the chair. "She was nominated." Despite crashing onto the floor and hurting her back, she enjoyed the sound of her ex-husband's pain. She only wished she could see it with her own eyes. "You know how the game works. You've been protesting against it since it began."

"You nominated her, didn't you?"

"Anyone between the ages of 18 and 58 are eligible, regardless of who they're related to and their status. You might be lucky to be in next year's line-up."

"I'd rather it be me than her."

"Oh, Professor get a grip."

"What happened? We used to be so beautiful."

"Times have changed, sweetie." Sure, there were times when she missed Professor Denki's presence. She could never forget the man she lost her virginity to. Sia opened the top chest in her vanity drawer. Opening the blue box, she recalled the memories of her youth. He asked for the ring back forty years ago, but she was never able to bring herself to do it. So, he could pass it off to his next missus.

"Have fun watching your granddaughter!"

"Sia! Before you hang up on me..."

She put her phone on loudspeaker. "Yes?"

"We don't have to be vengeful exes anymore."

"Professor..." Sia tutted. "If I really wanted revenge on you, I would have done it by now."

"You don't understand!" Professor Denki's voice was rapid over the phone. "That's Harumi's daughter. If Yuzuko dies, just imagine the pain you'll put our daughter though. You have to take her out of the game immediately."

"WHY SHOULD I CARE ABOUT THAT BITCH?" Sia screamed, her throat strained as she threw the phone into the mirror. Glass shards scattered around her feet. "You're the one who had an affair!"

Sakura & Yuzuko – 50 points

~*~

Hassin watched his neighbour hyperventilate before his eyes. Who was once a headstrong woman, who always had a plan of action was reduced to a blubbering mess? "Nila?" Had she have been his own wife; he would have been confident to hold her. Coming from a family consisting of brothers and sons, and his mother and wife being the only female family he knew, he felt inexperienced.

"I can't stop shaking."

"You need to calm down."

"I CAN'T!"

"We'll get through this. I know we will."

"How?"

"I just know we will."

"I'm the one who does everything in the house. I'm the one who cooks, cleans, teaches the kids all they need to know outside of school."

"Punjab will do a good job looking after the house. Plus, the children have got their grandparents."

"I know. But my mother-in-law keeps giving them rubbish. They'll get fat."

"Being fat isn't such a bad thing, you know," Hassin said to Nila, patting her back in reassurance. He never considered himself an expert of cheering people up, but he hoped his smile would help make Nila feel better. He shared the silly jokes he made up in front of his sons. They always seemed to make them laugh at bedtime.

She glared at him like he uttered a racial slur. "Don't be daft. I want my children to be healthy."

"Happiness is more important."

"You can't be fat and happy."

Hassin looked down at his belly. He knew he had put on a lot of weight since graduating university. "I think I'm happy."

"Hello?"

Hassin and Nila turned around. It was neither of them who spoke. "Who was that?" Hassin asked.

"It's Lavender and Christian!"

"Oh!" Hassin called out, holding back his laughter. "The ones with the funny names."

Lavender barged into the tree house. "I'll have you know that I hate my name."

Hassin took a step back, then marched forward in hopes of shaking their hands. "I'm sorry. It's a pleasure to meet you, Miss Knickers."

Lavender slapped him. "TOUCH ME AGAIN AND I'LL KILL YOU!"

"Hey!" Christian pulled her back. "Stop hitting the other contestants. You already scared the Icelandic couple."

"Oh, we weren't scared!" Aron announced. He and his colleague Rós climbed into the window, with their backpacks dangling from their arms.

"We weren't expecting company while we were peeing."

"Of course, we don't hold it against you if you're into that kind of thing."

"But we're not."

"Believe me, I'm not!" Lavender folded her arms and sulked in the corner of the room. At the same time, Christian wished that he and Lavender could be like the pair from Iceland – always finishing each other's sentences. Those were the days, he said to himself. He longed to be a child again with orange sunsets and strawberry ice-cream.

"Lavender!" Christian sighed, holding back his frustration with clenched fists. "Why do you have to make this so difficult? These people don't want to hurt you."

"I'm sorry but I want to be the one to win."

He cupped her cheek. Everyone in the room became restless in an instant. "Then all we have to do is survive."

"I want the jackpot and I don't want you to slow me down, even if it means taking out some of the people here."

"Don't jinx it."

"We should find the others!" Hassin said. "We should work together."

Nila hushed her partner. "We can't trust anyone!"

"If they wanted to kill us, they would have done it by now."

"That's right!" Lavender nodded her head. "Maybe this show won't be so bad after all. I mean...the island smells beautiful especially when you've got no robotic carcass by your feet."

"It will be easy for you to get jackpot!" Hassin insisted. Gulping, he waited for Lavender to speak. Something in his mind was telling him that he wasn't making much sense. Hassin's first languages were Hindi and Punjabi. He considered himself fluent in six languages – English wasn't one of them. English was his third language and even though he loved studying different languages, it was English that he struggled with the most.

Lavender sneered at him. "Your English is weird."

Christian shook his head. "It's not that bad."

"You look familiar!" Nila leaned closer towards Lavender. "Do you have a YouTube channel by any chance?"

"Yes, I do." Lavender beamed the moment she heard YouTube. She worked hard on her YouTube channel, she even gave her children away so she could fully commit to her career. Besides, Christian and Lavender had no interest in parenthood, but they were pro-life, so Lavender's cousin adopted them. She never mentioned the kids on her YouTube channel. "Lavender Snowflake is my YouTube channel. When they tried to demonetise my work, I had to work hard to get it back up again."

"So Lavender Knickers is your real name?" Hassin asked.

Lavender made a slow nod followed by a sigh. At least they're not bringing up the kids, she said to herself. "I really wish it wasn't. Lavender Snowflake is a much cooler name."

"Why don't you get married?" Nila asked. She noticed the horrified look on Christian's face when she mentioned it. "Then you won't be Miss Knickers anymore, you'll be Mrs Strippers."

"What's wrong with Knickers?" Hassin said, scratching his head. "It sounds like a cute puppy."

"It's British slang for panties!" Lavender shrieked.

"Nothing wrong with that. It's an essential female undergarment."

"I can see why you'd want to change your name," Nila said, thinking about the hours she spent watching Lavender's videos. She remembered the saying that you shouldn't meet your idols, but Nila couldn't help but think under better circumstances, it would have been awesome.

A burning smell behind her made her think of the hospital. There would always be someone who would burn the toast. "Who's setting the place on fire then?"

"Damn!" Aron ran towards the toaster and turned it off. The toast that bounced into his hand was black with smoke. "Just the way I like it," he said with a stretched grin. "Now where's the butter?"

"I can't believe anyone would want their toast like that!" Lavender turned up her nose.

The fridge collided with the table. Six robots crashed their way in through the hole where the fridge once stood. The biggest robot aimed for Nila.

"YOU LOOK GOOD!" The robot roared.

"Why, thank you." Nila accepted the compliment whilst shaking her body out of the robot's grip.

"You'd look even better..." The robot pulled Nila towards it as it whispered, "on toast."

"Look out Nila!" Hassin said, hitting a robot with a spade. The robot released Nila and snapped the spade in half. Cornered, Hassin took both pieces of the space. "I've got two weapons now!"

The robot tilted its head and shouted, "I LOVE SAUSAGES!"

Hassin pulled a funny face. Squinting, he peered over at Nila. Heart pounding in his chest, he expected the robot to pull his face off and reveal himself as some sort of comedian from a prank show. "I thought we were supposed to be scared of these robots?"

Nila hurled her foot in the robot's back. "THEY ARE SCARY!"

"Oh, good!" The robot clapped his hands as its fellow fighters fell on the floor. "I like scaring humans it's funny."

"Leave us alone!" Hassin demanded and threw the broken spade on at its face. "Please don't eat us. Just go to sleep and then we can go home."

"SLEEP?" The robot's head vibrated as its stomach rattled inside. It looked like a volcano about to erupt. "Sleep is for the weak!"

Nila leapt into Hassin's arms. "Let's go," he panted in her ear. "We can't take it down right now."

"Yes, we can!" Nila was one with her crossbar. Hassin plucked some courage and used his spade like a third arm. More robots charged through the hole as the others fought the smaller ones off, leaving Nila and Hassin to fight the big one till the crowbar dented a hole in the skin. Nila curled the wires poking out and pulled them apart.

The robot ceased to move.

"And for good measure!" Hassin whacked the robot's head with his spade. "And another one to bless the gods!"

Christian & Lavender - 125 points

Hassin & Nila - 200 points

Rós & Aron - 225 points

944 robots left