Little Black Book

Sitting at my desk running through Lithium’s program structure ensuring that the new update will take and fix the bugs that where causing total system crashes. Once the code is completed and the reset has started, I head to work at the local retail store. Strolling in for the start of my shift at 12PM, I check my watch to see how much longer the program is going to take before it is up and running remotely on my phone. I see that it has 4 hours before I can see if the new update has worked. I begin to work freight that is on the sales floor to help the time pass and walkie the truck team for updates on the progress of unloading tonights freight for the overnight team.

After 4 hours of working freight, I check my watch and see that it is time for lunch, and to check the software. I announce over the walkie that I will be taking my lunch, the level of excitement is just over the top in my voice. Beginning to walk towards my desk to put down my walkie, my name comes across for me to standby. Checking my phone, I see that it is rebooting at that the moment. Once the phone is powered back on, I unlock it and enter the commands that will need to be executed within the next 5 minutes. Taking a deep breath, I feel something bad is about to happen. Taking another deep breath, I move my walkie on my hip out of nervous habit. Feeling that this will be the last time for that. I get called over the walkie again to head to the back office and pass Max, a good friend who I stop, “Am I in trouble?” I question with concern. Max responds, while looking me dead in the face, “no.” I feel the world stop and become icy cold before turning away and taking a deep breath. My brain begins mentally playing a song, “Don’t call me a hero, your prison is not my home.” I step into the office and feel a rush of new energy flowing through me. Taking a seat, Lithium activates from the racing heart beats in the room to alert me of the detection. I sit quietly and turn my walkie off. Within seconds of me beginning to hold my breath, the interrogation begins. Exhaling, I let the questions, accusations breath life into the room, knowing full well of what was and what wasn’t.

After making it as awkward as possible in the room with my icy silence, I’m done pretending that I don’t know what this is about. Metaphorically lifting the rock that has been on my shoulders, I allow for a thousand truths to roll off my lips. Knowing that months ago, I had felt this feeling that you will never know or understand or even the price it cost. You will see the scars that I have collected all my life, and the darkness of everything I have lost. I don’t let anyone see. In the end my truths are shut down into silence within the eye of the storm. Regardless of what I did or said, being let go for someone else’s lies that my team chose to believe. They justified the means of the end for themselves and I was the sacrifice within the calm of the storm. Lithium beeps, sensing that I was getting up to leave. Handing in my equipment having nothing else to say about the situation and walked out the door ignoring the last few words. The apologies and words are meaningless and I continue my way out with my friend Emily. We walk in silence to electronics until we are out of the back, where I feel the most at home within the building. “ I just got fired,” I say dryly. Emily stops suddenly grabbing my arm, knowing that I wasn’t joking or playing. We continue walking towards the front of the store and I just keep telling her over and over again, that it didn’t matter how much truth I told, they decided to believe the lie.

After making it out of the building, I get into my car and there is a small black notebook sitting on the passenger seat with a rubber band around it. Looking around to see if anyone is nearby watching to see if I’m going to open it or what. But there is no one around. Inhaling sharply, I decide it is best if I drive home to open it, ensuring that I am 100% alone. Arriving home quickly and taking the notebook inside, placing it on the desk. “Lithium, please do a scan with an analysis report,” I command. The computer lights up and begins conducting the requested commands. I wait patiently for the report to show up on the screen. While I wait, I apply for unemployment and work on my resume to begin job searching. I restructure my bills and pay off everything that I can; Knowing that it is about to be difficult for me to survive until the working prototype of Lithium is completed. “ Ms. Alex, your report is ready, the small black notebook is safe to touch, but the only finger prints on it are yours. It looks like someone has wiped the outside of the notebook with a cleaner that has taken off the ones prior.”

“Thank you Lithium,” I say and open the small black notebook. From first glance, there is nothing written on any of the pages, until I come across the last two pages that are glued together. Pulling the pages apart I see only 4 words written, Let there be light… Taking a second to process this, I turn on the under the desk lights and put the notebook up to the light. There is writing on all the pages that contains formulas and names on each one. Closing the notebook, I wonder who could have put this in my car without tripping the alarm system. “Ms. Alex, a package has arrived outside the door.” Setting the notebook aside and going over to the door opening it, I bring in the box on the welcome mat. “Lithium scan please,” I say knowing that it has to be from the same person who left the notebook. “All clear Ms. Alex,” Lithium says before awaiting her next command. I sit back down at my desk and grab a knife, cutting open the box and money begins falling out of it. At the bottom of the box there is a note and I open it.

Alex, I have been watching you for a long time with the development of your tech. Here is something to help with your future. Right now, you don’t understand or can even believe how I knew about your future tech. These events have unfolded for a reason. You will know who I am by the end of this letter. I have provided you with a blueprint to help further the development of your tech and I hope it helps. Don’t trust anyone, remember, you are your greatest hero and I’m so sorry that I had to go so soon from your life when we were just getting started. But this was for the best for both of us and necessary for you to be where you are mentally. I’m sorry, I could’t be the person that you needed me to be, but I did all this for your future. I loved you so much, it hurt to know that you would go through a divorce and the pain of rebuilding again. But it was all to get you to become the woman you are today. It made you into the person that you needed to be, the CEO that I know you will be.

You are reading this now because enough time has passed for you to receive this from when I saw these events happening. I had so much left to tell you, but not enough time. I know it hurt you every time I would talk to you and that you felt pain from the cancer. Every time I pushed you away, it just hurt you more and more. We could never be more than what we were, the timing just wasn’t right and I’m sorry. Here is $20,000, this won’t make up for that or the pain you have had or are having from realizing who I now am. I loved you dearly and will continue to, you have come a long way from my passing in 2017 and just dreaming of having your own company. You were and are more than this world intended and more complex than anyone anticipated. I think the world is now ready to see you and how you are going to revolutionize it forward.

Thank you for what you did to help me make it to see my son graduate. I know how much damage and suffering you endured for me. That is something I never imagined anyone would do for another person. Your abilities make you a different breed. Don’t ever stop trusting those instincts, they will continue to guide you.

With all my love,

Lillian

“Ms. Alex, you are crying is everything okay?” Lithium says. “Yes, I’m fine. Everything is going to be just fine. Just know that your personality is of a person who I loved dearly and lost long ago. Lithium, your name comes from the feelings I have had since she passed away. Together, we will do great things as partners.” I say before getting up and heading off to shower for the night.