LET’S MAKE UP A CONSPIRACY THEORY! I am going to outright make shit up and lie by saying...

"Purple Foxglove Yellow Shmoo 137 42" "Purple Foxglove Yellow Shmoo 137 42" "Purple Foxglove Yellow Shmoo 137 42" "Purple Foxglove Yellow Shmoo 137 42" - BUT NONE OF THIS IS TRUE!

LET’S MAKE UP A CONSPIRACY THEORY! I am going to outright make shit up and lie by saying...

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

THIS IS NOT, IN ITSELF A CONSPIRACY THEORY!

IT IS A SPOOF, A LIE, A POKE, - AT HOW EASY IT IS TO MAKE BELIEVABLE CONSPIRACY THEORIES UP!

AND A PRIME EXAMPLE OF WHY YOU SHOULD NOT BELIEVE EVERYHITNG ON THE INTERET THAT YOU SEE,

WITHOUT CHECKING ALL THE FACTS YOURSLF FIRST!

So if you wanted to create a fake conspiracy theory,

How would you go about such an endevour?

1)

Find a poplular/Unpopular fear!

2)

For reffernce, Read a few of the most cheesy comic books or see a few crap movies based on that puplic paranoia

3)

Then simply let your creativity rip!

So,

Just as an example...

LET’S MAKE UP A CONSPIRACY THEORY!

.

BUT DO REMEMBER!

NONE OF THE BELOW IS IN ANY WAY TRUE!

.

LETS START!

I am going to outright make shit up and lie by saying...

.

.

REMEMBERING AT ALL TIMES!

THAT THIS IS THE LIE...

...That there are secret as yet untapped "Cells" of people in the UK with advanced covert military training and knowledge of secret stashes of weapons and supplies.

.

They are living among you normally, waiting to be activated.

.

They have been trained by their fathers or grandfathers,

And they, in turn, will train their sons and daughters!

.

.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

(Its a good start, BUT?!)

(This fabricaton, so far, is a bit dull and average as conspiracy theories go.... Let us ramp it up a touch...!)

.

.

THE LIE CONTINUES...

They were installed as a backup plan by Churchill's highest members of the SOE.

.

.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

(Oooh!, I managed to Squish in a famous historical name there!)

(Nice one!)

(Nothing sells a total lie better than a taste of half truth!)

.

.

THE LIE CONTINUES...

They are secret code-named the

"Black Dogs"

After Churchill's bouts of deep depression.

.

.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

(Cool fake name!)

(Very comic book!)

.

.

THE LIE CONTINUES...

They aim to activate 'if' EVER the far-right Nazi or Nazi-like elements took too much control of Great Britain either politically, socially, or economically.

.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

(REMINDER!)

(NONE OF THIS IS TRUE!)

(I thought of it while drinking heavily one night!)

(It is NOTHING but a total drinken invention of my silly immature mind!)

.

THE LIE CONTINUES...

Phase one mandate

Is to NOT harm or harass any ‘public faces’ of such fascist movements

(In fear of creating Nazi martyrs)

But instead, destroy the assets and reputations of the secret financiers and backers of such 'public faces'.

Thus, undermining the resource those ‘public faces’ have to promote themselves.

.

Phase two mandate

Would be to assassinate such secret backers and financiers as a last resort.

.

Phase three mandate

Would be to open the secret supply cashes placed just after WW2 and start an all-out insurrectionist resistance movement.

In the dire eventuality that the first two phases did not successfully hold the Nazi threat back.

.

.

(This is a cool invented idea of mine!)

(Can we smell a movie franchise yet?)

.

.

Currently,

Phase one

Has just been activated on the 1st of September 2020

.

.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

(Now for the big finish to really stack this totally bull shit lie up 3 feet deep!)

.

.

THE LIE CONTINUES...

Activation key of the first phase is this!

.

"Purple Foxglove Yellow Shmoo 137 42"

"Purple Foxglove Yellow Shmoo 137 42"

"Purple Foxglove Yellow Shmoo 137 42"

"Purple Foxglove Yellow Shmoo 137 42"

.

.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

(None of this is true!)

(I have only just now made this whole shit up!)

So, Where did this "Callsign" actually come form?

Nowhere, just my own silly head!

I like the colours purple and yellow.

My wife planted some Foxglove Flowers in her garden allotment recently.

137 is my favourite random number.

And the number 42 just comes from one of my favourite books!

TO BE CLEAR!

There is NO such thing as any "Black Dog Anti Nazi Cells"

They do not exist!

They have never existed!

I invented them!

BUT...

...Let us see who is stupid enough to buy a pile of stinking crap this high!

.

I reckon within 3 months this outlandish fabrication will start being reported as NEWS or as a SECRET TRUTH.

.

BECAUSE, Yes, people ARE THAT stupid!

.

So what have we learned?

Easy,

If it is on the internet and it upsets you.

DO NOT SHARE IT STRAIGHT AWAY!

CHECK ALL YOUR FACTS FIRST!

Because, ALL the above was a lie, spawned by little more than from a 12 pack of cheap crap larger!

.

!

satire
Ross E Fortune Lombardi
Ross E Fortune Lombardi
Read next: Understanding the Collective Intelligence of Pro-opinion
Ross E Fortune Lombardi

Writer. Gamer, Goth

A (Constantly Failing To Be Funny) satirist!

[email protected]

Mutare non est meum

Cantus moriar

BLOG:

http://lombot.co.uk

See all posts by Ross E Fortune Lombardi