Traveling at the speed of thought.
Nobody can hear a scream in the vacuum of space, or so they say.
Amara didn't let the thought keep her from screaming all the same. She screamed and pleaded, she begged and cried, for what seemed like, forever. Her mind flying through thoughts and scenarios, grasping at this and that, she was flooded with emotions and terrified of what was to become of her now.
"Help me please, I know you can hear me, I can't die like this." She could feel herself beginning to lose her grip on sanity. Or maybe reality altogether. Or had she swan dived into total madness? Not moments ago, she was standing in that corridor. Looking out into space, so ready to take the next step. Now, she was begging for help, which might possibly never come. "How can this be happening to me?! Get a grip, you're not helping yourself by panicking. Think! What was that word? Farna, umm Faroh.. No Farni? Calm yourself, you're not really in danger, you're only perceiving it as danger, center yourself Amara!!" She struggled to collect her thoughts as she felt her weightless body drifting further into the vastness of space.
Fighting to collect her thoughts and center herself, an incredible feeling of despair washed over her and she began to sob. "This can't be happening to me, it's one word damnit! One simple word, feel it, remember it. Don't let it go, yet here you are, hurdling into space, you'll drift forever you damn idiot, it's one word and you just have to say it!"
She pleaded again, hoping that Numen would take pity on her and come to her aide. "I know you can hear me! Help me, please." A terrible robotic voice clamored, "Oxygen, six hours, twenty minutes remaining." The voice blared into her ear and startled her so badly that her entire body jolted in that damn suit. She was confused. Why was she even in a space suit? Was this experience truly happening to her? Was she really here? Where is here?
After hours of praying and crying and pleading she began to drift into a trance like state born of her despair and the overwhelming horrific thoughts that had begun to flood her awareness. What if she'd never see her kids again? Never sit at the kitchen table and pick at whatever food they'd left behind on those little plastic plates. "I'll never see my family again." " What will Thom think?" "Will he think I left him, abandoned him?" "Now he'll be left to raise our 3 babies all alone."
"He can't do it without me, they need me, he needs me." Her thoughts darted, shifted again, her mind in such a dishevel that she could hardly hold onto any thought for more than a moment. "I'll never get my chance to prove that I wasn't crazy, that what I experienced was real." "Maybe this is my punishment." She was coming undone. "Did I bring this on myself?" Again, that terrible, almost cruel voice boomed in her ear. "Oxygen, one hour, five minutes remaining." An ever present reminder that she was literally on borrowed time. "No, No, No, this isn't supposed to be happening! I did the work! I grew internally didn't I? My evolution has brought me to this moment. Will I die this way? Will this truly be my fate?"
She began to slip inside her grief. She retreated into the deepest part of her mind. Just then, something extraordinary happened. In her distraught state, she'd let go of her need to control her thoughts. She wasn't concentrating on any one thing. She had stilled her mind without realizing it and her body was limp. Thinking about everything and nothing at all. Feeling absolutely everything and nothing, all at once. She drifted into what can only be described as inner surrender. Suddenly, she felt the word. She could see it, taste it, hear it! "Faran!" She screamed out. Just like that it came to her. Almost as if someone or something inserted a ball of energy into her being, as if she'd been struck by lightning.
In an instant, she was standing in the corridor again. She looked over as Numen gazed at her. A smirk was visible on the being's beautiful face. A sense of calm and peace flooded her. She was safe. "You finally let go." The being spoke to her in a soft voice. "You surrendered yourself and although you knew the word, it's not the word that transported you Amara." "It was your intended thought that did it. The word is simply a tool to help you focus your thoughts and to intend your energy." Amara interjected. "Numen please, I don't understand. Why couldn't I remember the word? I've said it countless times, I used it to get out there and just that quickly it vanished from my mind, as if it was taken from me." "Stolen."
The being responded, "Yes, that is a problem isn't it? Fear has a way of taking from us, that which we hold most dear. In that moment of fear you lost your word. And in your place of disparity you entered into a state of self surrender. Your fear was outweighed by your surrender and thus attracted to you, your word. It was not taken, not exactly. It was hidden from you in a place of chaos and fear within yourself." Numen continued. "You gave yourself that which you had taken away, by simply surrendering your thoughts and giving into what you already know." "Which is Self. You know what I will say next, don't you?" Numen asked. "Yes Numen, I do." Amara responded. "Step inside to get out." She said the words, struggling to describe to herself what was already there yet in that moment, hidden to her somehow. "I still don't completely understand what that means." Amara said, as they walked through the brilliantly lit corridor.
The iridescent glow around them matched the beautifully scaled skin of the being known to her only as Numen. The being's shape cast a sort of shadow that shifted from window to wall to window again as they strolled. "Please, explain it to me again." She said, as she stopped to look. Standing at the window nearest her, she gazed out at the breathtaking view of the vastness of space.
The deep black, speckled with the light of the exquisite twinkling, an almost pulse like view being cast by countless stars off in the distance. Was the distance as vast as it seemed to be at that moment? Was she truly seeing out into space or was she simply perceiving what her mind was translating to her in a deep state of meditation? Was her experience of this moment truly what her eyes were seeing? Was the translation of that more a representation of her interpretation of the experience? Was she really there? Where is there? So many thoughts dancing, swirling around her mind like a vortex.
Numen paused for a moment, and finally the being's delicate hand came to rest on Amara's shoulder. Instantly, she could feel the meaning, see it, taste it, hear it, smell it even. The sense of knowing was so sharp inside her mind and body. It washed over her like a waterfall. Yet words failed her at every turn. How to verbalize this? What words could accurately describe what she was perceiving? Numen spoke softly, yet the being's voiced reverberated all around her. "You do know what it means," The being's hand still resting on her shoulder, seemed to intensify what she was feeling. "You wouldn't be here in this moment with me, if you didn't."
"Trust in self, Amara." "Trust is the vehicle of your intended and directed thought." Numen explained as they began their stroll down the corridor once more. "Trusting what and who you are, knowing that you understand your relationship to self and your place in consciousness is what will solidify your ability to travel." Numen paused and placed a hand once more on Amara's shoulder. "You must understand your relationship with the nature of your existence. Understand that your limitation exists only, based on your perspective of it." Amara noted Numen's piercing gaze, those purple silver eyes seemed to peer into the depths of her soul. "Your human perspective is based on a preconceived notion of limitation. When in fact, you are not limited. You are quite limitless indeed. Consciousness is everything all at once." "It is the Singularity of all that is, was and ever will be. The vastness of space and time lies within. Not beholden to distance or some great secret yet to be shared with you. It is a knowing, a relationship of trust with your truest and deepest self. To get there or anywhere, one must," Amara whispered in tandem, the last 5 words with Numen. "Step inside to get out."